Well i have been with him for two years and i am 6 months pregnant. Today me and him were fighting about giving our baby up for adoption. I really do not want to i mean i think my boyfriend should have thought about this way before and not wait till i was 6 months to say something.It is hard for me because i am already attached to this baby i know that the baby is a girl.I have got so many things for her picked her name and everything...My boyfriend thinks that she will not have a good life and the only reason i want her is because i don't want to be alone.That is not true. But when he asks me other reasons why i want to have her all i can say is that i am going to be her mother and i want to raise her.It is just hard to explain to him why i want to keep her. I am really stressed about this because he says if i keep her me and him will not be together and he will hate me because i am selfish can anyone help me on what i should do or say? I am so upset and stressed over this...Thanks!
2006-08-15 17:56:52 · 18 answers · asked by stacieanne_04 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, you are NOT the selfish one. HE is. I also have a child and I love him to death. There isn't a woman fine enough to separate me from my son. If he loves you he will understand this is your child and not a frigg'n car or useless gadget that will be long forgotten. This child is your flesh and blood.
I think it's so selfish of him to not accept your child. You are an attractive woman and I think you can do better. Sure, it might take some time, but patience will pay off in the long run.
2006-08-15 18:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by p_boxter03 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel about the baby; I actually had donor insemination, I wanted a baby so badly. Obviously your boyfriend doesn't want to be a father, but if you keep the baby he will be obligated to pay child support and act like a father even if he doesn't want to. Of course, not everybody fulfills his obligations.
The main thing to think of right now is the best interests of the baby. I assumed tha I could raise my daughter without a father. I did, but it turns out that a father is just as important as a mother. A decent father, that is. She is 18 now and I have seen the effects of not having a male parent, even though I was a good parent. There are a lot of married couples who can't have biological children, so if you do place her for adoption, you can be sure she will get a good home; you will even have input into who adopts her. Whether you raise her yourself or not, it definitely looks like you and your boyfriend are breaking up. You will never respect him now that he has shown such a rejecting attitude toward you and his child. He is not a person you can rely upon.
2006-08-16 01:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I am here to help, in a way. I have scene this happen so many times around where I live, its a small town. This is coming from what i personally think though. Depending on your age, are you sure your are able to care for the baby? Do you have a job? A place to live? Room for a baby? These are the things you need to be thinking of. If the answer to my questions are yes, then that's great. I think, your boyfriend might be a littel jealous, because once the baby comes, you will be spending more time with her and not him. If he really cared though, he wouldnt' be having a guy PMS time like he is. That is what you have to think of. Could he do something stupid, once you have the baby? Are you really in love with him enough, to put up with him stressing you out and the baby? I would suggest if he doesnt straighten his act out, to either choose him or the baby, I am afraid. I would personally choose the baby. There are always other fishes (guys) in the sea. The baby is here now, and forever, with u, from the beginning of your pregnauncy. It is yours, to keep if you want to. It isn't necessarly up to him. The only thing that is up to him, is what is he going to do about it? Be a father? Or run away like a scared bastard? I wish you luck though, and always love your baby, cause she is yours for forever and always, even if you were to choose to send her to adoption, she is still yours inside.
-aim
2006-08-16 01:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by aim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I think your boyfriend is a total jerk and it sounds like he does not truly love you or his child, only himself. It seems like he only wants to give the baby up for adoption because he doesn't want to have the responsibility of being a parent and he thinks it will ruin his life.
I think that you're a very strong woman and a good person for not giving into what he wants by agreeing to give the baby up for adoption. The fact that he said that if you don't give her up for adoption that he'll leave you and hate you REALLY shows that he's pretty much a piece of ****. Honestly I would leave him just for saying that.
Don't be stressed and upset at yourself, you haven't done anything wrong here, HE'S the one that's being selfish here. In all honesty I would think about preparing yourself to raise him on your own, because it sounds like this guy is a complete douchebag that is not willing to help support you and your child. Always remember that you're the better person here and your Love will always be better than his selfishness.
2006-08-16 01:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by mgrazus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should not have to explain why you want your baby. he doesnt want a life long commitment with you or the baby. if a man told me that just one time that he didnt want his child i would leave him so fast he wouldnt know what hit him. girl dont never pick a man over your child even if he is the father. men will leave most women but your children dont. you will regret it for the rest of your life. dont no man give you a choiice like that. tell his smelly do-do stained underwear wearing a.. to get the f..k out of your life . then go and make him help support the baby. he was all happy when he was up inside you. dont ever and i mean ever let a man control you like this.
2006-08-16 01:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by eaglestraces123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is selfish, controlling, and a louse for saying to you that if you keep your baby, you and him won't be together and that he will hate you! I'd say Good Riddance! Don't let the screen door hit you on your way out! Your better off without him in your life. Regardless of whether you and he are together, he's still going to have to pay child support. Good Luck!
2006-08-16 01:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted.. and it REALLY sucks! If I was you.. (being an adopted kid..) I would keep her. Just because he doesn't want to deal w/ being a dad.. that doesn't mean you need to go through that. Not having any support is bad.. but giving up something like that.. I mean.. It just kills me inside and has caused a big depression in my life because of it. If you don't have the money.. try a family memeber.. orr.. welfare. I mean.. theres SO many diffrent ways then giving up your own baby. it'll be hard but it's WORTH it!!!!!!!!!!!! like i said if you're attacted to this baby.. then YOU do what you think will be best. not him. if you need any help or anything feel free to email me!!!! xhilary69x@hotmail.com
2006-08-16 01:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to keep the child, that is your decision and yours alone. I think you are making a very loving choice to keep the baby. Tell him that you two made this baby and now we are going to raise it to be a good woman. If he isn't down with that, tell him to take a hike. Make sure he knows where to send the child support payments. LOL
2006-08-16 01:03:55 · answer #8 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart,there is so much to consider that I do not know. YOUR AGE, RELIGOUS BELIFS, ETC. I had an ab, I was between marriages, it has taken an enormous toll on my life and more than 20 yrs to forgive myself. A baby is a gift from the LORD. Your boyfriend is being selfish not you.
2006-08-16 01:06:55 · answer #9 · answered by la kira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys do not understand fully what we feel when it comes to our children...trust me, I have a 2 year old and when I was 6 months pregnant I was sooo happy, picking out a name, getting clothes, toys, etc...thinking about what she was gonna look like and everything. There is a maternal instinct in woman that make us cling to our children. You should love your child and want to be with your child. If he says he will hate you and you are selfish, he is being selfish himself. don't you think it's selfish of him to want to get rid of his child? you can always find a way to make it work...and if he doesn't want to be with you...still have your baby. there are alot of single moms out there now-a-days and you WILL find a man who will BE A MAN and take care of you and this beautiful child. The child doesn't deserve to be away from his mother and father. I think if you want to put your whole self into being a mom, then more power to you, it's wonderful you want to take care of your baby. Good luck to you honey!
rose
ps. if you want to talk you are more than welcome to email me at imroser22@yahoo.com or if you have a myspace i am at www.myspace.com/rosannarobbins
2006-08-16 01:05:31 · answer #10 · answered by imroser22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋