I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years and he has a 9 year old son. He idolises his Mum but she is never around and doesn't come to visit.
I would just like some advice on how to deal with having a 9 year old around and I guess getting used to it.
2006-08-15
17:36:31
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10 answers
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asked by
brooksta3
2
in
Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Parenting
I just wanted to add to this question that I do love having my partners son around, I just needed advice on how to best support and encourage him.
2006-08-15
18:18:29 ·
update #1
well to start off with you and your partner must discuss what role you are both comfortable with you portraying?
will you be playing a major role in discisions? the main thing is trying to be a friend more than trying to replace his mum he could resent you for trying,when my partners 12yo son comes here to visit i dont act like a mother to him but a friend. and if he plays up it will be put to him to stop.he might say im not his mum but i would tell him its my house aswell and that he has to behave so our sons dont copy. i know i dont make much sense but do what feels right for you?
2006-08-15 18:11:42
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answer #1
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answered by butterfly*effect 4
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You shouldn't parent him...big mistake. He will always love his mother no matter what awful things she has done. She's his mother! I think the best thing for you to do is be his friend and let his dad do the parenting.
My fiance' listens. That's pretty much all he does is listen. Sometimes, that's all that kids need is someone to listen. Of course, he lets me know what's going on and the kids know it. But, he gets insight that I often don't. And, then when I sit down with them, it is a lot easier.
It's never easy being a step parent, but really you need to let dad be the parent.
2006-08-15 17:45:23
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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my teens had to deal with step-parent.
rule #1 give them boundaries, set limits and stick to it
rule #2 give discipline when needed something that fits the crime(grounding,take away things etc..)
RULE #3 VERY IMPORTANT: NEVER GIVE AN IMPORTANT ANSWER WITHOUT CHECKING WITH OTHER PARENT FIRST
(kids love to play parent on parent) until you both have time to adjust to each other, which may take a few years...be loving but consistent and talk to child and other parent before making a decision and ask father to help you keep your rules enforced.
you say mum is hardly around but DO NOT EVER talk bad about her no matter what because she is his mum and he will love her but if he is going to live under your roof you must set rules and limits for your household..
2006-08-15 18:04:18
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answer #3
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answered by montanamom 3
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Treat him with respect and love. Ask yourself , If he was my flesh and blood would I treat him like this and if the answer is no then you are not doing right by him. Don't ever get jealous of his relationship with your partner and dont ever try to come between them , he is a child and he needs his parent more than you do.
2006-08-15 18:19:35
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Be cool. Get a character on Runescape or whatever is the in thing. Get into pokemon and dragonball Z
Beyond that, it's common sense. Keep the kid out of danger and talk about actions and consequences.
Keep it simple.
Keep it consistent.
Anything you don't know about - talk it over with the mother.
2006-08-15 17:41:18
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answer #5
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answered by Orinoco 7
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Talk to the kid. Find out his likes and dislikes. You may be suprised to find that you have something in commom. How can he idolize someone that doesn't come aroud. He must be living on past memories. Make some with him yourself. Good luck.
2006-08-15 17:46:07
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answer #6
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answered by retsiemeop 2
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find a game that will be suitable for the child and ask if he want's to play but be sure to include everyone and also you could go out to a park and play catch or frisbee you know just interact with him let him know that you care
2006-08-15 17:43:58
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answer #7
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answered by scoobydoogirl425 1
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you treat him nice, encourage him to share his thoughts and feelings with you, offer to read to him, play video games with him, play ball with him.
oh wait, you didn't ask how to deal with him, you asked how to deal with having him around. ugh. that's really sad. what a heartbreaker - he's got a mom who doesn't and a step=mom who can't deal with him being around. how did his dad pick these women for his poor little boy?
2006-08-15 17:41:19
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answer #8
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answered by cassandra 6
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Very hard. He needs to understand from you that you do not want to replace his mom. That is a childs biggest fear.
2006-08-15 19:04:20
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answer #9
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answered by malibuer2000 1
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http://www.howtobehave.com/
2006-08-15 18:48:41
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answer #10
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answered by jimrich 7
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