my bf told me that him and a female he worked with were just friends but they was always spendin time together after i moved (becuz he was gettin deployed). well i know they were trying to hook up after i left and she was staying in our place and stuff. well to make the story short I found out that they slept together. he now wants me back and wants us to still get married(we were engaged) but i dont know how I feel anymore. he was my first so and i was his so this is the only other person thats been with him.i dont know what to do. i knowi dont trust him cuz they are toether everyday and will be deployed together to. so what should i do
2006-08-15 17:31:58 · 43 answers · asked by poohbeark19 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok we been together 6 1/2 yrs and I left because our lease was up and I didnt want to stay with his folks so I moved with my own.
2006-08-15 18:03:21 · update #1
once a cheater allways a cheater
2006-08-15 17:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by bigrigdvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first love is always the hardest to let go and get over, but it sounds like that would be the wisest thing to do. If they've slept together once and they're going to be spending this time together the odds of it not happening again are slim and none.
He and every other guy that cheats and says they don't do it because they get away with it.
Let the two of them go and get yourself a new life.
-s
2006-08-15 17:43:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RRRRUUUNNN like heck! I mean ONE, I'm MARRIED to a military man, and he cheated on me, after being in the military myself and being married to a military guy you have to understand the whole culture of the military, I mean stuff goes on when the people are deployed it's UNREAL, my husband sat there and pointed out (the day he got back from Iraq the FIRST time) all the people who were sleeping around (and pointed out who they were with) and MOST of those people he pointed out were standing there right with their spouse looking happy to be home and in the arms of their spouse... when it was all a bunch of BS (he of course did not point this out in FRONT of the spouse). And honey if he did it once he will do it again. If you think the divorce rate is high in America just ask around the divorce rate is even HIGHER within the military (mostly because the guys can't keep their stuff in their pants, and the girls can't either), it's more accepted, and it's a shame because these guys are supposed to be our nation's heros. Now there are a few exceptions to the rule, but your guy has already proven he's not, and things aren't going to change. You need to move on. Believe me!! My husband has cheated on me, and we are going through the mess of separation, it isn't pretty. What makes me real mad is all his buddies at work knew me, and knew my husband was fooling around and NONE of them said a word to me, which made me feel like a FOOL when I found out on my own. I wish you all the luck, and I hope you don't think I'm just some bitter spouse who is angry at the entire military (like I said I was in too, so I heard plenty of stories being in too, I even dated a guy, and slept with him, who was married, and didn't tell me he was, and I DID ask him if he was involved with anyone, he said no, I found out AFTER I had slept with him, when his WIFE came to visit with his 2 yr old son). The point is, if he couldn't be faithful to you when you were gone, he will do it again! If you are still confused about what to do think about it like this, if you VERY best friend came up to you with the same problem what would you tell HER to do as her friend? And there's your answer! Please for th sake of your future happiness move on!
2006-08-15 17:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by Kat__hleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand you concern. It very hard to trust someone after an affair. You have to decide if his love and the relationship is really worth the worry and stress you will always have knowing they still communicate and have contact. No answer you get here is better than the truth you already know deep down inside of you. Sit down and think it over you know whats in your heart.
2006-08-15 17:40:58 · answer #4 · answered by Lena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater. i have heard a lot of stories about this and when the girl takes him back, he ends up cheating again because he knows he can get away with it. it is wrong that he cheated on you, but is even WORSE since you guys were engaged. dont feel like you HAVE to take him back just because you guys are/were engaged and he was your first.. there are many other guys out there. good luck!
2006-08-15 17:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kaitlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
regrettably that is all too consumer-friendly. From the time we adult adult males are youthful, we a bred to believe that the greater females you get, the greater of a "stud" you're. in case you teach emotion or devote to one person, then you definately are supposedly gentle. I for one am a guy that rather would not care what persons think of. i like my spouse, I write her songs, I remember the date we first talked, and as quickly as we first kissed. She gets a dozen roses for each of those events. because of the fact she would not ought to wager approximately my heart, I even have the main committed and truthful lady i've got ever consumer-friendly. i might propose taking a while in figuring out on who gets your interest. Be greater apt to seem on the interior and not plenty the outdoors.
2017-01-04 09:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by russnak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't want to marry him ....yet......If he is being deployed why not wait for him to come back....That way you have time to decide what you want and it will give him time to appreciate who he has..
Here is an example for you...A freind of mine her daughter went overseas but before she went her fiance said they should marry before she left..So they did...While she was in Iraq he was sleeping around ..They have since divorced and come to find out he was sure she would be killed that he was waiting to collect her insurance from the army.......Is that sick or what
2006-08-15 17:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if he really loved you he wouldnt have even laid eyes on another woman, to be direct. But maybe he has his own reasons, I dont know, I think its better if you talk to him about it instead of asking on the web. You'll get better answers from him than anyone else here... I think. But if you dont, i think you should move on and find someone that really cares for you. Good luck
2006-08-15 17:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont even waste your time.he likes things about you that he doesnt want to lose and right now he is playing both sides,do you really want to waste more of your time on a relationship where what happened will always be in the back of your mind?you will never 100% trust him again anyway.he wants you to wait for him while they are off doing heck knows what! you dont deserve that .dont set your self up again
2006-08-15 17:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by happy-go-lucky 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you were the one who moved away and left him. guys have needs and the girl from work was there. it was probally just a relationship based on sex not feelings of love. if you want him back go for it only you know if you can forgive and get over his sexual trist with the co-worker.
2006-08-15 17:38:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually they want to hide all the things they r doing i think they were lying and u have to catch him red hand because then what will happen u will. get hurt-ed and your life will get spoiled so take care of everything and don't trust him till u will get the proof.
2006-08-15 17:38:13 · answer #11 · answered by alltimeforyou2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋