How can I convince my parents that independent study may be better for me?

Question

I can't stand the long class hours I have. Keema (the independent study) is in once a week.....

Basically I don't learn in school at all. I have a C average and I think its because of the learning environment is full of idiots every day.

For free time I read informational books. I think its so great to learn....I just hate sitting in class with people that aren't too interested in learning and go because they have to.

I have tried talking to my mom since my dad just follows what she says. She just tells me that she doesn't want to listen to me and no. Or that I need to be more social but honestly I don't find people who are on my level very interesting to talk to

I am 16 Melissa.

At work you do not have immature kids cursing out your boss now do you? And i'm pretty sure you really don't have people screaming at your "meetings". I have to sit in class with people who yell at teachers all day long. I love school to be honest....its the people who are there because they have to be that ruin it.

I would love a quiet spot to do my history work or write a 5 pg. essay for english or even just sit and do geometry. I can't get that at a regular school.

oh yes and BY THE WAY!!!! All the regular schools here do is read out of informational books. Then you do your homework. Same as independent study....and they still manage to get into college.

I'd say you should stop jumping to conclusions.

Since you judged me I guess I can judge you....

It HAS to be your way or it isn't right. Out of the "norm" is just unaccepted

Oh yes and actually Melissa I do plan on getting a job but school takes up so much time that its really hard to find a job. My school does not offer vet. medicine ROP. so instead I was just going to take classes at a local college....

or wait...thats not your way so I must be stupid right?

Answer 1

As others have said, you have very clearly articulated the issues for you at school, and you have received some excellent suggestions to take to your mom. You also seem to me to be a very bright young woman, and that you have goals and aspirations in your life.

You might want to include some information for your mom about learning styles and multiple intelligences. It sounds to me as if you are probably an "intrapersonal" learner and a "linguistic" learner - you learn best and well through language and reading and on your own. That is not unusual for a person who is bright and comfortable with her own company and reads well and enjoys reading.

Linguistic intelligence involves sensitivity to spoken and written language, the ability to learn languages, and the capacity to use language to accomplish certain goals. This intelligence includes the ability to effectively use language to express oneself rhetorically (you have certainly done thal well) or poetically; and language as a means to remember information. Writers, poets, lawyers and speakers are among those that Howard Gardner (multiple intelligences author) sees as having high linguistic intelligence.

Intrapersonal intelligence entails the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one's own feelings, fears and motivations. In Howard Gardner's view it involves having an effective working model of ourselves, and to be able to use such information to regulate our lives.

You may also want to research how you will be able to graduate from high school if your mom agrees to independent study. Have that information available to her as well as a short term and a long term plan for how you will do it.

You are young in today's terms to take on all of this. However, when I was your age I had already left home and was in my first year at university, so it never surprises me when I meet a 16 year old who is quite capable and quite mature.

In the end this will still be your mom's decision. Try to be calm and not emotional or upset when you talk to her about this. If you are to prove to her that you are able to do this, you have to handle it in a mature way with her. If she is not open to it right now, she may be in a little while if you and she can make a plan to work toward it, such as you bringing up your current grades (she is your mom, after all, and I suspect she is just worried about you - with C grades in school she may be worried that your academic success will be even less if you work independently).

If I may, I would offer one more bit of advice. I know you are frustrated by the behavior of kids at your school, but try to be tolerant of them. They have their issues too, and part of being mature enough for independent study is being mature enough to empathize with others.

You may find these links interesting. Best of luck with all of this. I have the feeling you have the ability and the will to go far, no matter how this issue turns out.

Answer 2

Write your mom and dad a well-done letter explaining point by point the things that go on at school and why independent study would be better. Also, since being social is a concern for your mom, find out ways in your community that you can have some sort of social outlet and add into your letter that if you were to do independent study, you would have time to participate in whatever it is that you've found (volunteering, for example).

Good luck! You sound very mature to me since you are able to articulate the problems and have taken the initiative to find something better. If all else fails, would there be something you could arrange with the school itself? Talk to the teachers or the guidance counsellor, principal, somebody? Perhaps you could end up doing at least some classes in independent study at school.

P.S. Don't spend any of your time worrying about Melissa's comments. I just saw some of her other ones and she just does not at all approve of the idea of homeschooling. Don't let how she expresses her disapproval get to you.

Answer 3

The best thing right now is not to ask, beg or demand homeschool or independent study. Your mom may have certain concerns for your education. She may not be able to help you in your classes at all, or may have doubts and fears about the seriousness of your goal, or maybe even your discipline or drive. Especially if she can't oversee/understand/explain the work to you. (pre-calculus/french/etc) After all, you have a "C" average, and she may fear that you could drop further behind if you study from home.

Recognizing the fear in your mother, you must explain this to her and allow her (to choose) to give you a chance. You may wish to tell her, that you will promise to improve your grades within 6 months, or you will gladly and without any fighting, go back to school. So, in other words, this would be temporary and under a condition, which she should be able to agree upon, if you are serious. Remind her as well that all the work is thru the school, and graded, and overseen by school staff... all legal and proper.
Explain you wish to try it out for a short time to see for yourself if it works or not and that you want her support, and that if it does not work you will resume regular school.

If she doesn't want to hear/listen/talk about the subject...WRITE it down in a polite letter, sign it and leave the letter on her pillow.

Try it. :o)

Answer 4

First off your not stupid. I think your really smart to realize that the classroom situation your in isn't helping you at all. Have your parents considered observing in the classroom so they can better understand your concerns? ( You don't have to tell anyone but, the teacher who they are) Or, have you spoken to your counselor? You know someone like yourself that really wants to learn needs to be heard. What School District do you belong to? I wish I could be of more help. I'd even tell you to consider having a counselor speak to your parents. Try to hang tough. Maybe this year your teacher will have more control over the students so you'll actually be able to learn. Or, have you tried taking Advance Placement courses? Usually in those classrooms the students are more well behaved. Good luck.

Answer 5

I am sorry that you're in a school where students don't want to learn. Have a sit-down with your mother and father about the school situation, and explain in a calm and adult manner how independent studies could help you. Also, have them talk to your guidance counselor for help. Have you thought of private schools, that could be an option. Good luck, I know you're facing a tough decision.

Answer 6

I felt the same way when i was in school. public school is stupid, and the "socialization" you get from going there is limited to learning new curse words. if you do home school/independent study you will learn a lot more in the same amount of time. any time you have study time that is not interrupted by stupid teenagers is better than public school.

Answer 7

Look into the Robinson Curriculum. You can use the Course of Study as a spring-board to self-teach and learn how to study and get ahead.

www.robinsoncurriculum.com
Even if you remain in a group setting you can study independently when you are at home.

Answer 8

See if you can get a copy of, "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" by Grace Llewellyn. She has a whole section on convincing your parents to let you 'unschool' complete with rebuttals for every major argument (including socialization).

Answer 9

I think you should go talk to them and be flat out honest. Let them know that the school enviroment just isnt challengeing enough for you and that you think that an alternative form of schooling would benifit you more.

Answer 10

the best way is tell them that you find regular school to have to many distractions and that you are not able to pay as close attention in school due to alot of goof offs that sit around you. that you find that if you were homeschooled you would be able to pay close attention to your studies.