Feel Like I've already failed ?

Question

As I've explained before, I am 18 years old, 4 months pregnant, and still a senior in High School. I plan to take college courses for a quarter along with 3 other High School courses for the year to fulfill enough credits to graduate ... But I feel like I've failed as a mother already, and the child hasnt even been born yet! I don't have a college education yet and I can't work full-time yet along with my fiance to do my part in providing enough finance, that doesn't make me feel the best. Sure I'll be able to work part time on weekends and stuff but it doesn't seem like it'll be enough. I just feel that I'm so young and that automatically makes me a failure in life ... The sad thing is I have all the support in the world right now- my parents, all my relatives, and most of the family and relatives of my finace ... Any1 else ever go through this or feel like this?

Answer 1

Your mind is rushing ahead, panicking about the insecurity of the future. Put one foot in front of the other and just move forward. You will have problems but you will also have solutions. You will succeed sometimes and not others. Won't be a huge deal most of the time. Perhaps you feel that you have robbed yourself of something. Remember that **** happens to us all. It did to me and not too many years later, I was able to claim my life as something that I had built. I too had strong support from family and friends and that was a godsend. Don't let embarrassment or pride keep you from seeking their council. One way I got my life and pride back in myself was to be able watch their approval as I got through my troubles and got back on a good track. When things went bad (in my mind), and even when I had everything to live for, most of the time felt like I had already blown it (or was one step away from blowing it). I was wrong then and respectfully, in this case, so are you. You haven't failed. You are just afraid, and probably feel that life is out of control. That is an understandable reaction to a future that is speeding towards you like a Freight Train, but it won't last forever. You will master it.

Remember, one problem at a time. One solution at a time. One foot in front of the other. You are not alone and you WILL be surprised at how good it will be in 5 short years, or 10, or 25. Trust me, it's a blast. Good Luck dear.

Answer 2

you're still young, everything doesn't have to happen at once. of course, you know the baby comes first. don't WORRY about what you're going to do, just calm down(for your sake, and the baby's) and try to make a plan. and when you're having a baby, plans change. try to remember that. you will graduate because you sound like a very determined young woman that cares for her child very much. college can come later and that's okay. it's okay to wait. it's okay to work part-time so you can spend more time with your child. take all the help people offer you. you have a lot of people that care about you and your new family in the making. i think you sound like a good mom to me - i'm 20 years old with a 6 month old. haven't been able to start college yet. my husband is in the army, and my family isn't the closest-knit you'll find. but i worried about the same things you're describing and i feel for you. you'll do just fine, just take one day at a time!!

Answer 3

One thing I have learned lately is that you cannot control people around you and life in general. If you are saying to your self that you have failed then you will predict the outcome. Try to take care of your self and take on day at a time. And as each day comes perform the best that you can and be very happy with that. Life is too short to feel this way. I have had my share of problems too and it took a total mind change for things to get better. Try not to put too much pressure on your self and be proud of your accomplishments and challenges. You can do it.

Answer 4

the way I cope whilst i'm feeling down is thru considering the words from the musical 'Annie' "The solar will come out day after today" no remember what occurs on the instant, comprehend that day after today the solar will upward push and a sparkling day will initiate. it continuously does. Christians will proceed to show you how to comprehend "pray extra stable...you will desire to have confidence extra stable...you at the instant are not doing it good!" yet this only makes you sense extra like a failure. enable all of that bypass. you're on the earth good now, and that's the place you will desire to stay your life. seem around on the sweetness it is the international. in case you fail on the instant, in case you get laid off, lose you significant different, screw up or something, day after today the solar will upward push and all of us get yet another probability.

Answer 5

alot of what you are feeling is prolly hormonal. you are not a failure you are doing everything in your power to improve your life and still have this baby. your emotional and you will have days when you feel this way i'm 29 and already have 2 kids and i still feel that way sometimes. women especially feel like they have to take on so much that they usually set too high of expectations on themselves and then feel like failures if everything is not perfect so go easy on yourself hun. even in the most perfect setting pregnant women feel like that. be thankful for the support system you have and use it talk to someone and tell them how you feel and if these feelings keep getting worse talk to your doctor about them depression does happen during pregnancy and the doc can help

Answer 6

i have a lot of friends that had babies really young. they all made it ok, with the support of their families and friends. it is hard but you can do anything you put your mind to! there are a lot of programs to help young mothers, too. call your local human resources council or WIC, ask your doc for info, too! just make sure you take good care of yourself, take your vitamins, get plenty of rest, and most of all don't stress so much! everything will be fine!

Answer 7

You're number one priority should be the birth of a healthy baby!!
You are not a failure at all.