I have a 7 year old son that still cries pretty often. It will just happen randomly. He seems really sensative and I need to find a way to "toughen" him up. He acts his age most of the time but these outburts are getting harder and harder to deal with. Other than these moments he is a happy child. Anyone else have this problem???? When he is asked what the problem is, he says he doesn't want to talk about it and he won't talk about it to anyone or he says nothing that he doesn't know why he is crying.
2006-08-15 16:24:24 · 13 answers · asked by Nancy L 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
He and I have tried to talk about it and I just want to get to the bottom of it. I have even had his school counselor who he likes a lot try to talk to him and she can't get it out of him either. I appreciate the fact that he is sensative but I don't know what else I can do. All my friends think that he is overly sensative as well. I don't want him to be picked on at school because of this. He had this type of outburst twice this year in school.
2006-08-15 16:41:36 · update #1
Mine is like that too. He is 8 now. He is a thinker. Always in his own head. He worries a lot about small stuff and big stuff.
Ask him when he is not emotional what he is thinking about. Don't wait for an outburst. You will find out that there is a lot going on in his head.
This will give you the opportunity to deal with his problems before they become overblown in his mind and teach him to come to you as problems occur to him.
My little guy had 3 friends move away during 1.5 years of school and it was right after we moved into this area. He was constantly having to re-establish himself with new friends.
Once we started talking like this he really started to even out. Every now and again he feels sorry for himself but its not as often and not as severe. Good Luck.
2006-08-16 19:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do is tell him to "toughen up". A seven year old doesn't act this way without a reason. He says that he doesn't want to talk about it, that means that he does know why he is so upset. Has anyone hurt him, abused him in any way? Is he being bullied by someone in the neighborhood, or was someone at school harassing him? You need to find out. If he won't open up to you, it's because he's afraid that he will be in trouble, or he's been threatened. Let him know that you will protect him, that he isn't in trouble. If he still won't talk, you will need to get him to a therapist that specializes in children. There is something very wrong. Don't wait.
2006-08-15 23:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boys cry as much as girls do up till the age of about 8 (my 7 year old is now and his twin sister, don't you love bath time...ALMOST BEDTIME) Keep up the counselling it is a good idea. You can't "toughen" kids up. He will mature and things will get better. It does sound like there is something going on in his little brain that he can't express, just give him lot's of hugs and reassurance that he is loved. As for school he will probably do it less as the year goes on as he will begin to realise it is socially unacceptable to cry (this is sad, if it was a girl people would have no problem) can you sit on in the classroom for a few days and just watch what is happening both here and (unobtrusively) in the playground for anything that may be happening.
2006-08-16 04:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with a counselor if you can. I'd say all those who mentioned attention are somewhat right.
I also think sometimes if you can beat around the bush for the answer (which I'm sure you've done) if you finally hit the nail on the head and say what's bothering him, he might be more willing to agree.....instead of him volunteering the information. Part of the problem with kids that age is that they dont' know what they're feeling, or how to express it. I have found that with my son it worked that way. He'd say nothing for an hour.......but if I guessed and got it right, he'd admit to the problem. Usually it's hurt feelings, frustration, feelings of inadequacy, something like that.
But.....don't make it a big deal either.......it may frustrate him more.
2006-08-16 07:47:11 · answer #4 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a normal 7 year old boy and rather than "toughening him up" you should work on "sensitising" yourself to him and the fact he is 7 not 17. When he says he doesn't know why he is crying what he means is " I am 7 years old and don't fully understand my emotions or how to control them yet. "...... Women complain all the time about men not being sensitive enough and not talking about the way they feel.... This happens because when they are little boys and still show emotion people come down on them like a ton of bricks and try to get them to learn to hide how they feel and "be a man". Don't worry good or bad he will outgrow it .
2006-08-15 23:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 8, physically he is tough as nails, but he has a very sensitive heart, he will cry like that sometimes we just talk about it, sometimes he doesn't say whats wrong, I think he just doesn't know how to put things into words. My husband is better at getting things out of him. My mother in law told me my husband was the same way as a boy, he is a great guy, I hope my son grows up to be that way. I think if it becomes worse you should get him help, maybe he is just a sensitive person. good luck
2006-08-16 11:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good friend of mine has a son who went through a phase very similar to this one. Has anything big happened in your son's life (a pet dying, a friend moving, parents not getting along etc.)?
I know she was really frustrated about it, but other than her son spending a little extra time with his dad (they are not divorced, Dad just really stepped up a little more than usual) I don't know that they did anything special. Is your sons father active in his life? If not, how is the Big Brother/Big Sister program in your area? Or are there any male family members that could mentor him a bit? I do know that young men need to have a positive male role model in order to learn how to become men. I don't know that your son needs to "toughen up" so much as he needs to be taught how men handle different situations, so he can emmulate them.
Good luck
2006-08-15 23:35:27 · answer #7 · answered by lolo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to "toughen" him up you have to be a little hard on him.
If you are a sensitive person you might not have the stomach for it. Ask him why he is crying. If he says he doesn't know or refuses to talk about it tell him to stop. Don't ask him TELL him.
There are certain ways to act and crying for no reason is unacceptable.
2006-08-16 00:48:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know the answer..When i was 7 i cried for no reason too..I wasn't sure for what i was crying for...Now since I'm older i think it was for attention from parents...And when i was having the attention i still cry because i remember bad times..Most kids who are like that have a bad time at school..I had bad times at school when i was 7..Not because of studies because of embarrassment and friends..I'm not sure for your kid what is hes problem but i think its similar...In fact almost all kids are like that..Don't worry i bet once hes 11,9,10 years old he will stop..Like i did....But i don't think toughen him up will be good let him be..Because there's is no such think as a kid that is tough..maybe tough to a bully,tough in strength but there's no kid that is tough in controlling the pain..
2006-08-16 03:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he bursts into tears, go into the room where he is and sit down with him and hug him for reassurance. Ask him why he feels sad, and what's wrong. Kids don't cry for no reason. Be as persistent as you can without being harsh or blunt; you need to find out what's wrong before you can take action.
2006-08-15 23:32:12 · answer #10 · answered by q&a_08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋