my boyfriend and I (late 20's) want kids but were both not ready for a wedding and commitment...I'm worried his friends are more important than me..and we can never get together because of his friends...what's happening??
2006-08-15 16:10:53 · 54 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Dear Sarah,
He wants all the good things in life without responsibility. Children need parents and a family basis. If he has no time for you then he is not the one for you!!!!!
2006-08-15 16:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by -------- 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So instead you want to bring kids into this world with no hope of having a stable home life? BAD IDEA. Time to find someone that you want to commit to or to adopt a child as a single mother. You aren't ready for kids if you think that his friends are more important for you. They will certainly be more important than you after you give birth as well. Just wait and when & if the time comes, move forward then. But having kids with someone not interested in you except for sex and babies isn't worth it, especially if you want more than that.
2006-08-16 06:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, just a FYI.......Kids are a HUGE commitment. It sound like neither one of you are ready for the responsibility of having children. If you raise your children properly then you are taking on a massive commitment. Do each other a favor and do not have kids until you are more mature and married. If he can not commit to you what on earth makes you think he will commit to you, a child, and even more responsibility. Go to Walmart and purchase a clue. Because neither of you have a clue between you. I hate to be so blunt but you need to hear it from someone before you bring a life into this world.
2006-08-15 16:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by cdfrx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look if you both aren't ready to get married then you aren't ready to have a family. Because God forbid your boyfriend does become more into his friends then the family and walks out. That isn't right. In marriage you make a promise to each other to love and cherish till death do you part. So i think you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel with the whole more attention on the friends thing and tell him that if he wants to settle down and have a family that being married is the right thing to do for the two of you...and your future children! I really hope this helps...=)
2006-08-15 16:15:26 · answer #4 · answered by curiousangel216 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
um, having kids is a commitment. If you are not ready for a wedding or commitment to each other, what makes you think you are ready to have kids?!!! If his friends are already more important and interfering with the two of you bieng together, just think how it will be with a crying baby around.
2006-08-15 16:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its great that you both want kids, but its wise to wait. It sounds like there are questions about his level of commitment which may work themselves out with time and growth. You must remember that it is important for him to keep close with his friends. Hes a dude, and he needs dudes. I dont know any married or commited men who dont. Just like we need our girlfirends, he needs time to hang with the guys. Maybe you need to make some agreements about how often you will go out with your friends, and maybe make a date night each week so that the two of you can out for some fun as well. You have a right to know what the score is, and he owes it to you to make your relationship a priority within reason. You might also see if its possible to invite his friends over and perhaps strike up friendships with the girls his friends date. (providing his friends arent super geeks with no women in their lives!) for now, I would just talk philosophicaly about kids. Spend some more time working on your partnership. Oh, and lots of good sex helps!
2006-08-15 16:20:58 · answer #6 · answered by prancingmonkey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two are not ready for a wedding/commitment, then you are NOT ready for kids!!! Kids are a bigger commitment than a wedding, and you can't just divorce them away.
You are both still young and have plenty of time to have kids, with each other, or with someone else. Just have fun with life while you can!
2006-08-15 16:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by anabele6 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How can he expect to have kids and spend the appropriate time to play with them if he wants to contiune hanging out with his friends? HAving children is a huge responsibility and takes up almost all of your spare time that you had before kids so my advice is NO. Do not have children until 1) He;s commited to the relationship and 2) He can promise to spend time with the kids and help rasie them like any father should. Once that baby pops out your lives are turned upside down. I'm serious!
2006-08-15 16:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by Wibble 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Want kids and not ready for a commitment- that is just plain dumb.
Kids are a major commitment, you have to be ready or it won't work.
You both need to grow up.
2006-08-15 16:15:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You both need to think about your possible children and not yourselves. How do you think your children are going to feel if their parents were never married? They will be embarrassed! They will be called bastards. If you are not ready to commit to marriage you can not possibly be ready to commit to raising or taking care of other people for 18 years.
2006-08-15 16:21:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wedding equals commitment. Having children equals commitment. Are you ready to raise your children by yourself. Not that marriage makes that much difference but it does resolve some legal problem in many states.
2006-08-15 16:16:39 · answer #11 · answered by yuvid6 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋