I'm 23, I started seeing a 20 yo about 3 weeks ago. Our first date was perfect, a walk through the woods, sitting under the stars and just getting to know each other. My daughter got hurt the very next day and he surprised us by coming by the hospital. A week later, he took us to a fair and treated me and my daughter like gold. He was, and is perfect; however, my daughter's father and I are in a custody battle and I'm having to live with my parents for a while. My father forbid my 'new guy' to call me til all this blows over and his step-father did the same to me. The problem is, I need him. He was the one person who would listen to my problems, he would give me advice when I needed it. He would call to see if I needed to talk or to see if I needed some time away for a while. I want to call him so badly but I'm afraid of upseting our families. I fear that he is too afraid to call me. I just don't know what to do. I need him now more than anything. I feel lost without him. Please Help!!
2006-08-15 15:32:57 · 34 answers · asked by Bangin To The Beat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are 23 years old. You are a grown *** woman, its time to stop listening to everything your parents say and grow up and make some decisions on your own. You might have to evaluate which is more important to you, your tyrannical parents or the man who treats you like gold.
2006-08-15 15:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by bigsnowtoday 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At 23 you are an adult. It's too bad the family can't see this. From what you say about him, he may be keeping his distance so he doesn't upset things any more than they already are. This is probably a good thing.
If I were you, I would call him, but not from home. If you don't have a cell phone, find another phone you can use and call away from the house. Make arrangements to meet him without the family knowing it. Is there some logical reason for you to be away every so often? I hate to advise people to sneak around, but with the families the way they are I don't see a big choice. Don't bring the daughter, just you and him. I'm just afraid she might say something and things would get worse.
It may seem bad right now, but it will end. You just need to bear up and wait it out. Talking to your new guy would probably help, just be careful about it.
2006-08-15 15:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Contact him somehow where neither parents can find out. You don't need to be on the phone long. Just tell him the situation and if he loves you he will wait. I can understand also from the parents point of view. The situation can get real ugly if you are in a custody battle and the last thing you need is more aggravation. I'm sure you don't want him involved too. Be patient and brief if you contact him
2006-08-15 15:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hang in there. Talk to him and be upfront let him know that it is a problem with the family and let him know how much you care for him If he is the great guy you say he is he will wait till everything has settled. It might also be very confusing for your little girl give her a chance to adjust also. And you might just be looking at him through rose colored glasses because you are suddenly alone and he is paying a lot of attention to you so this will give you a chance to get a good hold on your feelings....Hope it all works out
2006-08-15 15:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by magicboi37 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call him. If he's "real" and is genuinely concerned about you, then read to him what you've just written here.
Your father has a valid point. He is truly looking out for your best interest during this custody battle. When all else fails, listen to him.
If the new guy is true, he'll hang in there.
Get through the custody battle and find your prize - the new guy.
Again, IF he's genuine, he'll be there. If he's not, you'll know -- the hard way -- but you'll know.
Good luck.
2006-08-15 15:39:45 · answer #5 · answered by cboni2000 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's quite complicated, but what i'd say is you both stay away from each other for this period of time that things are really chaotic between you and ur daughter's father, don't let room for a third party issue, it could really get things complicated and worse, do away with those emotional feelings for now till things get right. Cheers
2006-08-15 15:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by Victor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no good advise for this case. What should we say?
You are so lucky to have a friend like that during the hard time.
take a while to know each other while winning the battel which may cost you a lot of time. Marriage or wedding, can be done any time when battle settled. idearibbon
2006-08-15 15:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by floralexpert 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're 23 and old enough to have a kid, you're old enough to make decisions on your own. He's 20 and also old enough to make decisions on his own. Your father and his step-father are having little power trips on their control over you. Call your guy, and if it upsets your families so be it-- its none of their business. Your family should be supporting you in your time of difficulty, and I don't know what's going on with his family. But go ahead and call him.
2006-08-15 15:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by Tim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly for one, identification say youve have been given the extra advantageous end of the deal being a woman and all, as a results of fact the guy is rather lots the only that has to truly worry approximately impressing the lady with how he talks and acts. the ladies in my opinion would desire to do much less, as a results of fact there no longer predicted to be the innitiators of something envolving assembly and speaking to the choice intercourse. so which you will desire to be a splash extra rigidity unfastened understanding that its extra on him to try this stuff. nevertheless, you are able to and could in case you opt for to start a convo, why no longer, there unquestionably are a ton of shy adult males available which at the instant are not innitially prepared to bypass out of there thank you to speak to a woman that they like, so with that throughout strategies decide for it. the question of telling a guy (or hinting) that your attracted to him isn't possibly my awareness. as a results of fact I also have a similar subject of showing a woman i like them, so. the fewer you think of approximately it, and the extra you purely enable it happen the extra issues are going to artwork. bypass with your instincts on what you will desire to do!
2016-10-02 03:37:15 · answer #9 · answered by angelou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think maybe your parents dont want you to take on more than you can chew, i dont think your parents realy hate this new guy. but i do think they want you to be careful till everything is resolved with your ex. if this guy is everything you want and is realy as you say then he should understand and respect your needs. a good man wouldn't force his way into yours and everyone elses lives and remember you have a child to think of, so make your daughter first and so forth. respect your parents cause they are there for you. great things come to those who wait, so be patient..good luck..
2006-08-15 15:54:32 · answer #10 · answered by back1breaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult. Tell your Dad that you will find other arrangements if he cannot accept that you and your ex are done.
And if he calls your bluff, than you have to go.
And as for the battle, be reasonable. He is the father. he has every right to see his kids. Stop using them as a weapon.
2006-08-15 15:39:06 · answer #11 · answered by John16 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋