Please help, I got cancer....how do I cope?

Question

I'm 31. I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and will undergo hysterectomy soon. I know pretty well that everything wil not end there. I'm scared and afraid this will affect so much of my relationship with my man. I haven't told him yet and when I do, I want him to forget me and move on.

As you know, I will not be able to get pregnant anymore and the loss of intimacy will surely takes it toll. Is this true? How will I cope? He had conflicts before and I still remained with him no matter what. Now with my condition I want to push him away. Should I break up with him?
Am I doing the right thing?

Suddenly my life is upside down. My mother is my only family and a handful of friends have been very supportive which I am thankful. But still, I felt my world suddenly stopped. All I want to do now is sit at the corner and think of nothing....feel nothing. Am I losing it? What should I do? Please help.

Thank you so much for the kind words and prayers. It brought tears to my eyes. All answers are best answers.

Answer 1

This is the time that you need to be with your family and friends. Tell your boyfriend. If he is the man he should be, then he will be as supportive as other have been. If not, then you know that he is not the one for you, and you do not need extra burdens during this time in your life. YOU ARE STRONG!! You will handle this with the grace and courage that you know is inside you. This is the time that will show how strong of a person you really are. You will look back years from now on this moment and realize how scared and weak you feel, but in reality, you were the strongest person you knew. I dont know you sweetie, but I know that you will get through this with flying colors, and if your man cannot be there for you, then he is not really a man after all!! Stay strong sweetie, and I will pray for you.

Answer 2

I'm also 31; I was diagnosed w/Stomach cancer last year. I had major surgery, chemo which made me extremely sick, and later went into radiation knowing it could cause me to become infertile and ruin my liver (because of where I was being radiated). Look, don't look too far down the road with fear. It is STUPID but really, take things a little at a time. Your feelings and perceptions will change DRASTICALLY in the next few months so don't feel like you have to make decisions for the rest of your life. I was horrified at losing my stomach & esophagus, but I'm doing okay now. Going through what I've been through has given me a greater appreciation for things and I have a "what will be, will be" attitude that I never had before. If children are important to you, you can adopt a baby. If your man doesn't stand by you, he's not good enough for you. You're great and you deserve the best. Don't be scared, you can do this. People said I was brave but really, what was my option? You're stronger than you think. If you want to think of nothing now, then THINK OF NOTHING. Go with your gut. You'll face/accept when you are ready. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Answer 3

you are overwhelmed at the moment. So sorry to hear your diagnosis.
Take a deep breath and slowly exhale.

Don't break up with the bf. Who knows this experience could make you stronger.

Ask the doctor if he can take some eggs from you and freez them......just an idea.

Having your uterous out will NOT affect your intimacy. I had mine out years ago. It will only affect your intimacy if you let it.
For me it made it better.

Two months ago I was told that I had liver cancer. They were wrong. I was frantic etc. Then I calmed down and figured to not worry about it until I was sure what it was. It isn't cancer but chronic hepititis.

There are many people out there who understand your being scared.

Get more information from your doctor. You might have a very isolated cancer and your chances of being caner free might be 100% once you have the surgery. Think about the surgery as saving your life and that you now are given a gift to appreciate the gift of life more.

Right now you are in your frantic phase. Take it easy on yourself and you will get into a more focused phase of making sure you stay strong and be a surrivor.

Trust your bf with this news. He can't rescue you, but he sure can be a comfort.

Keep us posted hon

Answer 4

each and every 3 hundred and sixty 5 days looks to flow by utilising lots speedier than the final one did and the years from my fiftieth to my 68th look to have flown. besides the undeniable fact that, i does no longer want to tutor the clock back for something. There are classes of my existence i does no longer want to repeat and that i does no longer want to flow contained in the direction of the destiny that i think the greater youthful ones will face. i think of i became born at touching directly to the suitable time possible. If i'm nevertheless around in ten years time i'd be much less cellular and seem lots older and then i'd think of in yet in any different case yet, no rely if we like the assumption or no longer, we can not flow back so could income on what we've and stay for in the present day, loving our households, doing the suitable we are in a position to for those all of us comprehend, being style and beneficiant and, whilst possible, getting the exercising we could proceed to be wholesome for as long as possible.

Answer 5

You need to tell him and if he's not there for you forget him-If he is there for you why would you let him go-You also need to fight and be strong and also pray alot.You are lucky that you have your mom and friends supporting you-I had a brain tumor and thought it was the end of the world but I found out I was much stronger then i thought and also with the help of God and all my prayers everything turned out well. I will pray for you also.

Answer 6

You should talk to your BF about it, and you should not feel sad and think your life is done just because you have cancer. Life continues and in today's world I'm sure they'll give you some kind of a treatment so you can keep kind of like your regular life. If your BF doesn't understand you is because he never really loved you.

Answer 7

you know of all the silly *** answers i have given on here your question must have a thought out answer so here it goes i think you should give your man the chance to show you how much he loves you or doesn't love you don't make the decision for him give him a chance and as a man i can tell you that we can tell no difference after your surgery

Answer 8

um... if u really want to push him away then u shouldnt tell him that u can cancer and thats the reason y u want to broke up. it may only cause him to cling on to u further more. however im not sure wat kind of reason to say for breaking up..
i still think u should tell him, u would want him to be by ur side n im sure he would love to be there for u too! good luck hope u feel better :)

Answer 9

IM SO SORRY FOR YOU, BUT HE NEED TO KNOW WHAT
GOING ON WITH YOU. TURNING HIM AWAY IS NOT THE ANSWER, HIS LOVE AND SUPPORT IS WHAT YOU NEED
RIGHT NOW. THAT ALL THAT MATTER. BUT IT WILL WORK
IT SELF OUT. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU. AND GOD BE WITH
YOU.

Answer 10

if he LOVES/CARES about You...He will be concerned about YOUR HEALTH/WELLBEING........the fact that you wont be able to bear children shouldent even cross his mind...if he CARES...the latter wont make a differnce...if children are that important/needed...concider adoption...it doesnt take too much to be a dad...it thaes ALOT to become a FATHER...