Do you think that an only child is at a disadvantage socially with not having any siblings? Whay do people tell me all the time that I can't let my daughter be an only child? I'm very happy with my one and only, but I still have occasional second thoughts. Mostly for her sake, not because I want another child.
2006-08-15 14:51:19 · 15 answers · asked by ItsMe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
A little more information...my daughter has very stong realtionships with many, many friends in our "extended" family as well as my twin sister and my brothers family.
2006-08-15 15:02:01 · update #1
I know that you want to hear from people with only children by choice - only. But I need to get my 2 cents in. What business is it of these people to be asking you that? It is your choice and not theirs! Tell them to bug out.
Okay, I feel better. Do I think they are at a disadvantage? Who care what I think? It isn't my life. Evey choice has advantages and disadvantages including having children and how many you have. Enjoy your child - have another if that is what you feel is right for your family; or not. And tell the busybodies it is none of their business.
2006-08-15 15:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my husband is a only child BY CHOICE. He was born when his mom was 19 she got her tubes tied after him BY CHOICE. She said she KNEW she never wanted another one. He is now 34 I've ask if he regretted being a only child. He says he NEVER had a issue with that. He says he had Lotta friends and LIKED getting all the attention and stuff. BEING a only child is not horrible in some cases better 4 the kid. My husband says it was great his parents are still married he had a very stable life his parents were able to put all their money and time only into him. He is a wonderful stable honest man they did great! he is not selfish or greedy he is very giving well adjusted adult. I grew up with a older and younger brother i am more selfish because i HAD TO SHARE now as a adult i don't always like the sharing stuff. My hubby was never forced to share or had to be greedy there was no one there to compete with "make sense?". having brothers and sisters dose not mean you'll learn better to share or solve problems. In the end there are very clear advantages and DISADVANTAGES to both sides
2006-08-15 15:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have only one child. She is now 14. I love it! When all my friends kids are fighting, they tell me I was smart to only have one.
As far as socialization is concerned...we always tried to have kids around for her to play with. She is very well socially adapted. She doesn't have a problem sharing. Because she is an only child she also has the ability to stand up for what she "wants". She can say no to the other kids when they want her to do something that she isn't supposed to.
The only drawback for me was that I had to do a lot of entertaining. She didn't have the sibling to be able to say "go play". BUT, we are very close and we can talk about any and everything...and we do.
added:
I have a sister. We do not get along. We never got along and even as adults don't get along. We are VERY different people. We are ok for a day or so togther and then that's it....I know several other adults who have poor relationships with their adult siblings...just as I know adults who get along wonderfully with their siblings. There is no guarentee that siblings will get along as kids or adults.
2006-08-15 15:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Deana G 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This simple truth is this, only children tend to be more used to having their way, more easily upset by some of life's challenges, and seek out very close friendships....while multiple children are used to dealing with arguments, handle changes a bit better, and already have a very close bond with siblings. All that i can tell you is this, of all the people I have known to be single children, the greedy ones where happy, the rest wished they had a sibling. I don't know anyone with brothers or sisters that would say they wished they didn't have any. What matters though is how you raise her. Raise her around close friends and family with kids her age. Keep her active with school, playgroups, sports, anything she likes. The key isn't just siblings, it's bonding with other kids and you not always giving in to her way.
2006-08-15 15:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by x_lil_redangel_x 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my advice is coming from experience. I do not think that it is a good idea to have only 1 child. I hated it when i was younger, for a few reasons. Sometimes there are things that you just cant say to your parents but really need to talk about, have a sibling would really help out in that department. It was also tough being the only child in the home mom and dad don't always have the time to be entertaining so that leaves allot of time the child spend by themselves. Everyone says yeah but you got more spoiled (material things that is ) Very true but it would have been nice to have a brother or sister to love and trust. my other fear is the loss of my parents. That is going to be really hard to go through withouth the shoulders of others who loved them the same as I.
Just my advice you need to do what you think is best for you and your child.
2006-08-15 14:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon A 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, I can sort of offer some advice. My son was an only child for 11 years (due to infertility) and he has grown up to be a happy, well adjusted young man. We just made sure that he had a variety of social interactions with other kids and he developed the ability to play, share, etc. Through some miracle, we now have an 8 month old, but I know that he would have been fine even if he never got his miracle sister (which we thank God for!!!)
2006-08-15 14:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
We have a daughter who is an only child by choice who we give all our love and attention to. She is bright, happy and has no problems making friends. I grew up an only child as well, and I find although I am without siblings, I have been blessed with very good friends who are just as good as any sibling!
2006-08-15 15:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Miss U 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
good question
im raising my grandson as an only child he is no more disadvantaged than any child he interacts well with other children and his sisters...when he sees them along with other children ...
she will be fine just make sure she interacts with other children on a regular basis...
my daughter has 1 child and dosent want anymore either,,i dont blame her they are wonderful but very expensive and time consuming
the average cost from birth to 18 is 160,000.00$ total per child..equals to about a dollar an hr...
2006-08-15 15:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a disadvantage. I think kids need to socialize inside and outside of the home with people their own age. Siblings teach alot of things and are well worth it. You also have to think about the future. What if one day you and your husband have to be put in a nursing home and she's the only one around to take care of the two of you? It can get verrrryy stressful handling that stuff on your own. What about when the two of you die (knock, knock, knock)? She won't have anyone to talk to about it because she'll be the only child. You could try adopting if you aren't able to have any more biological children. I know alot of people who have adopted and some who are in the process. Good luck and God bless on whatever you choose.
2006-08-15 14:56:17 · answer #9 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
i'm the only child of an only child with an only child...
they're only going to be at a disadvantage if you portray their situation as such. i'm also a single parent - many will tell you how terrible that is, too. screw 'em. point is, it's your life, your child, and your choice...
opinions are like @ssholes... everyone has one and no one thinks that their own stinks.
2006-08-15 15:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by Oliver Kloz-Hoff 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋