is anyone else having this problem with there toddler?

Question

my son will be 2 in november. for the past couple of weeks every time we go to the store he throws a fit. he doesnt wat to go into the carrage he doesnt want to hold my hand and walk next to me in the store. he will just start kicking and screaming. it is very embarrasing. i tell him to stop it or ask him whats wrong, but all i get is screaming. does any one have any suggestions or anything to stop his horrable behavior. hes only like this when we go to the store.

Answer 1

Mine used to scream and throw himself down on the floor of the store. He is still difficult but does not do the screaming anymore. I have three kids, and only one was like this.

Here is what I do with him. If I am taking the kids out alone, then I make him sit in the cart. Only big boys can walk in the store, not babies. So the buckle goes on. I allow him to scream all he wants while I completely ignore what he is saying. And if he insists on jumping out of the cart or throwing himself out and pretending that I pushed him, then he goes in the corner in the store. Meaning he has to stand in the aisle and face the shelves for a few minutes while everyone looks at him. And cools his bad behavior.

If my husband is with me, then me and my difficult son go and sit in the car when he is being rotten. My husband takes the other two children through the store. Which makes the difficult child jealous and I explain to him that I can not take such a badly behaved child in the store.

It has taken time, but he is getting better in public. He was one of the worst. He would scream that I was hurting him and throw himself on the ground if I held his hand. It was absolutely devastating.

I don't believe that spanking is an option, but time out is. And this is about the age that time out should be started.

Good luck. I know how hard this is.

Answer 2

My daughter just turned two in June and we also have an 8 month son, so turning around and leaving did not seem like a great option for me after loading both of them up and bringing them to the store, but I did it a few times regardless. I also had her stay in the house for a few days (well, at least not to any stores) and had my husband watch her while I ran errands. After a few days, she kept asking to go "bye-bye," I told her that we could only go if she was good. Then I would take her out, be sure to put her in a cart BEFORE we got into the store (where she really wanted to run around) and remind her that we have to be good or we have to go home. And, yes, people will make comments about this, but I did bribe her. If she was starting to act up I told her that she could have a sucker if she promised to be good. I did this at the very first sign of a tantrum so that she wouldn't think that she was being rewarded for the tantrum itself. After giving her the sucker, if she started up again, I would tell her that I would take it away because she is only allowed to have it when she is good, and for fear of her precious sucker being taken away, she would stop! I also converse with her A LOT during any outing. She loves to talk and it keeps her distracted. I really haven't had too many problems with her lately thankfully! I hope this little play-by-play gave you some ideas! Good Luck!

Answer 3

welcome to the terrible 2s!
My daughter used to be horrible about this, so I've tried several different things. For one REASONING WITH A 2 YR OLD IS POINTLESS!!
They don't understand that, all they understand is what they currently want'
Make sure you aren't going at a typical nap/meal time.That puts you at a serious disadvantage.
Most of it is for attn. have you tried walking away when he starts the tantrums? Just let them act like a fool for a min. without attn. that usually curbs it.
Do you believe in spanking? I'm not saying to use it as the first resort, but sometimes its needed atleast once. Just to make sure they know you mean business. Usually if you just tell them you are going to take them to the bathroom and spank their little hineys if they don't knock it off then they will stop right then. But be prepared sometimes they will want to test you on that one, so you better be ready to do it if you choose that approach.
Try giving them something to play with or a snack of some sort while they are in the cart.
If all else fails leave the store, or have hubby take them out of the store so you can finish shopping. A couple of times of that and they will stop.
I'm not saying they will never act up again, but they will stop doing it for attn, or for just trying to get their way.
Consistency is the key, you can't let it slide even once. You have got to be firm and it will fall into place.
REMEMBER YOU ARE THE PARENT!!
Kids are going to throw fits, thats basically their job. They are searching for their independence right now, and realizing they are a seperate person from you.
It will feel like everybody in the world is looking and judging you, but those of us who have had kids that age are really just thinking "oh god I'm so glad I'm not in that position anymore". lol

Answer 4

Is it possible that there's something about the store that is scaring him? Something that makes him feel unsafe? Like the tons of strangers milling all around. Or all the bright lights and vibrant colors; it's overstimulating for some children. Is it possible your son could have a condition that hasn't been diagnosed yet? Alot of autistic children start experiencing this problem around this age. (Sorry, not trying to scare you.) Start paying attention to see if he only reacts this way in public where he's around alot of strangers. Could just be another phase of stranger anxiety. Many possible reasons for it. Could actually be a tantrum, but I doubt it. There's got to be a reason behind it.

The next time you plan a trip to the store, try talking to him either the day before or a couple of hours before it's time to go. That way he has warning and can prepare himself for it. You may actually get to the bottom of the problem this way, as well.

It may just be better for both of you if you just leave him with a sitter, if possible.

Answer 5

He's 2.. he wants to be independent. That means no carriages, no shopping carts and certainly NO holding mommy's hand. You're not giving him a choice, and that to a 2 year old is unacceptable.. ( I'm not saying you're unacceptable.. I'm saying that he thinks it is)

Before you go in the store, tell him that he has a choice. He can sit in the grocery cart OR he can hold your hand and walk beside the cart. Tell him that if he doesn't behave like a big boy.. then you're going to leave the store. And keep your promise. If he doesn't behave, leave. Have some kind of a back up.. leave him with his father, grandmother, a friend of yours.. and go back to the store without him.

So, give him a choice, tell him the consequences of not sticking with it, and ENFORCE the consequence. Eventually, he'll get tired of not getting to go anywhere.. and he'll behave.

Answer 6

Welcome to the terrible twos.
When my kids threw tantrums like that, I would stand there patiently until they were done, and then I would say "Are you done yet?"
if people glared at me or something, I would either ignore them or tell them, " terrible twos, gotta love em"
Most folks are pretty sympathetic as they have been through it.

If my kids throw a fit or cannot control themselves, I simply tell them "if you do not behave, we will go home" if their behavior does not change, I pack them back into the car and go straight home, do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

You can threaten and bribe till your heart is content, but if the child knows you won't do it, they will continue to press you.

He figures if he throws a tantrum he will get what he wants, even if he does not say what he wants.

Perhaps he does not want to go shopping because it is boring to him?
A sitter or leaving him with a relative, IE: Dad, Grandma, Auntie etc. would be an easier choice.
Much less stress on you and him.

Another option, does the store have the mini carriges he can push? or perhaps the carriges that have the cars the kids can sit in and "drive"

Whatever your choice is for dealing with tantrums, remember, if you tell your child you are going to do something always make sure to follow through, so they get the message that you mean what you say.

Good Luck

Answer 7

My girls actually are pretty good going to a store. But my older two are too big for the carts and my youngest (also 2 in November) is small. She will ride in the cart and the others run up and down and around in circles. I get them involved with the shopping. I let them help me find the items we are shopping for and the youngest (the one in the cart) gets to put the items in the back of the cart (unless it is something too heavy or fragile). She likes the activity. After we put the items away, I'll take them to a park or while we are in the store they can pick out a book they like. This usually keeps them on my side for awhile. Good Luck.

Answer 8

i feel bad for you because i have pretty much the same problem with my 4 year old .. she always wants her way or no way. people may look at you like your the worst person in the world, but dont mind them .. what i do is leave my shopping cart where its to and pick my daughter up and walk right out of the store until she promises me that she will be good for me and listen to me .. now this only works 90 % of the time but its a help .. i also try being more stern with my daughter to let her know that when i say something i mean it .. i hope i helped you out some !!

Answer 9

Welcome to the terrible twos! Sounds like he's throwing a typical tantrum. You can try to talk to him in a controlled voice but I'm not sure it'll work. Personally, I would probably ignore it. Put him in the cart, make sure he's safe inside, and let him go at it. If someone shot me a look, I would smile and say "oh, the terrible twos" or make some kind of joke about it. When you calms down, you can try talking to him again. Eventually he'll learn that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him anywhere. GL!

Answer 10

Yes. There's not much you can do with them when they are throwing a tantrum like that. I end up just dragging her back to the car and going to the store later without her sometimes. I will tell her that going to the store with mommy is a privledge and that if she doens't behave she doesn't get to go to the store.

I think maybe the store can be to overwhelming for them. There's so many things that they see that they want that it's too much for them.