Is this bad parenting?

Question

I think my sister is a bad mother, but tell me if I'm being to judge mental?
shes going to be 35 yrs old shes married, already has a 9 yr old girl and a 7 yr old girl, she just had a baby boy 2 months ago.
Every since she had kids she always screams and yells at them , curses. Calls them names , sometimes hit them on there head, so does there father. But im not saying thats all they do to them, they are nice to them on and off.
Since shes had her baby whenever he cries she complains " i cant keep picking you up you need to learn"
this is what shes telling a 2 month old baby
Im 19 , but i know better not to talk like that to kids.
I live with my sister ,, after my mom died when i was 8
But it just makes me cry everytime there mean to the girls. And then when my sister is home with the baby shes keeps complaining about him (stuff that all newborns do)
Am i overreacting?
I just think her patients stinks and she should be a mother again if she couldnt even handle the 2 girls she already has

she even screams " i sewar one day your going to be put in the hospital and im going to be put in jail"

but i cant say anything to her she flips on anyone who disagrees with her

if i do report them no one wil believe me because he husband is the fire chief in our town

Answer 1

quick answer - Very Bad Parenting.

You have a responsibility to report your sister and her husband, any time you strike a child in the head you could kill them. Please act now before you are no longer a aunt.
Call CPS, or Call the Police.
Hurry

Answer 2

I don't think you're being judgmental at all I have often felt the same way about my sister's interaction with her kids. As an aunt i know at times when the disciplining goes to far and the cursing gets to be too out of control u feel helpless. I am 25 and my sister is 33 and when her kids (9 & 11) were small, i spent as much time with them as possible because ofwhat she was doing. I dont feel that kids deserve that kind of treatment or verbal abuse (cuz that's what it is). She's ur big sister and u don't feel like u should have to tell her thats wrong. It's up to u if u do or not. It also seems as if she is taking her frustrations out on the kids. They did not ask to be here. She may feel like many moms and wonder if life would be better if the kids werent in the picture, or it could be something else in her life that is making her frustrated and the kids are suffering for it. Either way u may have to step in a pick up the slack. Show the kids that there is another way of life, something better than what they know. I spend so much time with my niece and nephew people think they are mine. At this point in thier life they are old enough to see what's going on with thier mom isn't right and unfortunately they have lost a lot of respect for her. Hopefully that won't be the case in ur situation. Please be a good aunt and show them the better way!

Answer 3

You don't sound like a very supportive sister. She may not have the right methods but why don't you help her out in a tactful way. Parenting is the hardest job on earth and until you have embarked on that adventure, don't you think you should find a better way to support her. I am not saying I agree with her parenting skills from how you have described them but I also know that we can't do the right thing 100% of the time. Education on what a two month old needs is where she should start but don't come off attacking, come at it from a helpful point of view. Also lead by example, help her out and show her better methods of dealing with bad behavior. Also, give her some R&R, that might help. Sorry to hear about you guys mother but maybe that's exactly why you guys need to stick together and be supportive.

Answer 4

I totally agree with you. I wouldn't say she is a bad mother because I don't know her but from what I read she could use a parenting class or two. Tell her what observe or videotape her one day with the kids then show it her. If you just tell her she might not realize the seriousness of her behavior as a mother. Maybe if she sees herself in action she might try to seek help.If she really loves her kids and wants them feel safe and secure with her she will try to change for the better. If that doesn't work then tell someone. Not the police, don't get her kids taken from her but someone like maybe a close relative to both of you like and aunt or uncle or the children's grandmother (by the way i'm sorry about your losses).
Good Luck to all of you!

Answer 5

Listen, I know it sounds aweful, but you don't have kids. Walk a mile in her shoes. She has 2 kids, a newborn who she is up all night with and the pressure of running a household. Sometimes venting, even when it sounds inappropriate, is a good stress reliever. I have seen both of my sisters, who are in their 30's, educated and professional, berate their kids on occasion. I'm not saying its right, but when you are in your 30's managing EVERYTHING, your needs come dead last and sometimes its very difficult to not have you needs met on a daily basis. Moms are people too, with feelings. It sounds like your sister needs a hug and a day off and some loving kind words of support as well as some acknowledgement of her hard work. Try it.

Answer 6

But realize you most likely will never see them again if they get taken away. It really depends were the kids end up.

Try being a better sister and maybe get them some help. People do get overwhelmed. You may be in the same boat someday so sit down and think. Would you want some help, or your kids just taken away?

Answer 7

She should probably be reported to Child Protective Services or to the local police department.

This is bad parenting, and needs to be addressed before something serious occurs to those helpless children, if it hasn't already.

People who abuse will only seek help after they admit to themselves they have a problem, and this will not occur until something very grave takes place. Call today. Don't wait.

Answer 8

You are definately right, you should NEVER hit a child unless its spanking. Otherwise she could be get turned over to CPS for child abuse. Plus she as the right idea TALKING to her children and making them learn, however she shouldnt yell or make DEMANDS they are just children (yes even the older girls) Hope I helped.

Answer 9

Call social services. Talk to the girls that they need to tell the truth to the social workers about their parents. Say that what they are doing is VERY wrong. The social worker has to listen. You need to report it.

Answer 10

You already asked this same question in this same category, so I will give you the same answer: IF this is true, you owe it to the children and you MUST contact Child Protective Services NOW!