im recently seperated from my wife. we have had ALOT of problems over our 7 years. it has even included cheating on her part-more than once. we have been seperated since end of february this year. she left me and the kids. we are not LEGALLY seperated yet. divorce cost $, we both are low at the moment in that department. my question is this: is it wrong to date while still legally married?? i mean, honestly the marriage is dead to me-i wont speak for her. i have nothing but disgust and shame for her. would you date someone who was still married?? i know 2 wrongs dont make a right. at the same time, its been quite awhile--if ya know what im sayin!! lol im just kinda torn on what to do. i see no way of us EVER getting back together. and thought this might help me move on more. what do ya think???
2006-08-15 13:02:02 · 16 answers · asked by tnkster71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this is coming from the respectable woman behind this facade. It is perfectly okay to date while just technically separated. Many nice woman would go out with you, I would (and I am nice...honest lol)
2006-08-15 13:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a question of morals for you isn't it ?
Well in your mind you are on your way to divorce and it sounds like it is irreconcilable . so I think in all honesty and I think most with the exception of the devout religious group out there that you are no longer in a marriage and that you should pursue your happiness
Legally is it possible that the wife that you have left might turn about someday and claim infidelity on your count ?seek advice but there must be a way to register for divorce that will not cost and arm and a leg.or at least a legal separation
2006-08-15 20:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not inherently wrong if you both agree the marriage is over in your hearts and it's just a matter of dissolving the legal connection.
However, I wish you a bunch of luck in getting more than one date with anybody before the divorce is finalized, because you're going to need it. As long as you are merely "separated", in many women's minds, there is still a very good chance that you will go running back to your wife and leave them in the lurch. So you may not have as much luck as you'd like finding a girl who's interested in something serious.
2006-08-15 20:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Key Points:
1Your marriage is over.the only preventing a divorce is the $$
2You've been seperated/living like a single man since Feb.
Rebound r.ship/dating is just that rebound. LIke you said it can help youmove on more. You say u'll never get back together.I take it you havent really ventured out & dated yet. I wouldnt date someone who is still married,legally seperated or not. Divorce signifies that marriage is over.Just be honest w/ those you chose to date. Let them know what's going on. Let her have that choice of getting involved with you or not with ur status still being legaly married.
2006-08-15 20:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by REAL24/7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is: you are married. If marriage isn't valued and sacred in your heart atleast at the point where u fell in love and decided to get married... then why did u do it? Otherwise ur relationship could have maintained at just dating. .... That being said, you are still married and in a commited relationship, even if only legally. It would appear that you valued the idea of marriage, and you should continue your commitment to the end. Is momentary sexual gratification really worth it in the end? My suggestion is to think about how you will feel about this decision (both senarios) in 20-30 years. Good Luck.
2006-08-15 20:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by ruby7698 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When me and my ex first seperated (he left me for my sisternlaw) It took a while but then I started dating other people intil we were actually divorced. The only thing that I would be careful of is that with you not being legally seperated, she could try to get you for adultary. I would try to see how much a legal seperation is since you can't afford a divorce right now. Good luck.
2006-08-15 20:18:01 · answer #6 · answered by jessdjnick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with dating if you're seperated. If the only keeping you married is the cost of the divorce and you living in seperate houses, then appsolutely nothing wrong with dating. i would just be honest with those you're dating, because if they find out on their own, they won't believe anything you say about the marriage. Learned that the hard way.
2006-08-15 20:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by Supa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Not unti the divorce is finalized. You can get a "Do It Yourself" divorce kit at almost any chain bookstore for around $50. All you have to do is sign it, have her sign it, have a judge sign it, and file it.
Once that's done, THEN start dating again when you're ready to do so.
Why give her ANY ammunition to be used against you in front of a judge? I know it's difficult, but I promise it'll be worth it. Plus, by doing the "right thing" will lower any costs that you might be ordered to pay to her.
2006-08-15 20:13:59 · answer #8 · answered by GottaGo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with dating ! If you are truely over then of course it is ok. Sounds to me like she was dating during the marriage anyways. If money is the problem, then you could also go to the courthouse and file your own divorce paperwork and move on. If you and she both are broke, then it would be the simplest paperwork to file.
2006-08-15 20:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by Andy Inyas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u and ur wife have major problems its great that u broke up its for the best for u and ur children
i know devorce cost money its quit expensive but u should save up for it
well in a situation like urs why wouldn't anyone date u u are just finacially broke right now just give time
its not wrong for u to move on with your life and fall in love again and be happy u
go for it move on enjoy ur freedom find a new love and be happy
2006-08-15 20:43:51 · answer #10 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well dude i was married for 18 years,, and when me and my wife separated,, it took me some time,, but i wanted to be around another woman ,, and i was honest and up front with her,, because i was still married,, but i will say this some women dont like it ,, but there are some that do,, because if you find a good woman that wants to be with you, your being separated wont be that big of a deal,, just be honest ,dont lie ,, beacuse if you do you will lose in the end,,,,
2006-08-15 20:11:52 · answer #11 · answered by palettman1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋