Ive been in a really bad relationship in the past 3 years. Ive been threatened, manipulated, used, emotionally abused, lied2..lost my self dignity because i was so pathetic. i have retaliated and got into a lot of trouble from that relationship (went to jail, on 51/50, probation ,house arrest). because of this , it has impacted my self esteem dramatically. but after everything ended, i got so traumatized, i stayed home ever since.because i feel so much safer. im so attached to my family, i feel safe around them. i became so scared that i dont trust anyone anymore. i dont feel confident in anything i do. im always sad. - ive learned my lesson - it has changed my life dramatically. ive pushed away my friends because of the embarressment and self pity. i no longer go out i feel like i disappointed everyone.. i have to pay for my attorney bills so thats all im working for right now. im also sleeping w/ a guy only cuz he makes me happy temporarily but after i feel even worse. pls help.
2006-08-15 12:48:53 · 9 answers · asked by confusedz1 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I think sleeping with a new guy is a bad idea. Your first step to rebuilding yourself should just be making a friend, with no strings attached. When you feel comfortable with a friendship, only then move on to a sexual relationship. If friends are too much for you to deal with right now, get a pet.
2006-08-15 12:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now, it is a blessing that you are with your family, and they must love you very much. I wish you would let go of the sexual commitment to the young man right now, as it is an emotional thing that might turn into another mess for you....Look...I am going to talk to you from a Christian point of view...any one who knows God and Jesus, knows that the only perfect one ever here on this earth was Jesus...and the rest of us, NO EXCEPTIONS are all sinners...maybe not the same things that you did, or the guy down the street did, or something that the people across town are doing....but everyone sins...But Jesus Died for our salvation, and forgives us..and reallly, He and God, are the only two who REALLY matter when it comes down to it...But I promise you this..you ask God to forgive you, through His Son, Jesus...and you will feel so much better, knowing that God has forgiven you and promise you will try not to do that again...you should surround yourself with kind, Christian people, or kind people in general..and there are many...but you, like everyone else, just sinned, and you can and will be forgiven..because He promised us that by sending His only begotten Son as a ransom sacrifice, just for us...He loves you and me so much...God Bless..
2006-08-15 20:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girlie ~ Dont let yourself get down!! You are the only one that can change your life and the guy you were with brought you down to his level. You have to be able to get over the trust factor, because not everyone is like that. If you feel worse about sleeping with that guy ~ then you have to stop it. Cheer up - I have been really down at times and all I know is that life is a big roller coaster and when you reach those lows it makes the highs feel that much better. Hope you feel better
2006-08-15 19:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by snbdguy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to define yourself in terms of your abilities, your progress and your goals, rather than by the bad things you've done or experienced.
Also, take some time every day just for you. To relax.
Find some healthy new things to do and explore, such as meditation. Through meditation you can become more aware of the thought processes that make you unhappy and stop/alter them. You can let go of unrealistic or harmful desires. And it gives people a greater sense of identity.
Try to find some good people to socialise with and be a good friend to them.
That's my two bits.
2006-08-15 19:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by moment_in_passing 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A couple of things: first, I am sorry you had to go through what you had to go through, but you are not alone. This happens to alot of us alot of the time and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Male and female alike.
Second, you have to let it go. Yeah he did you dirty and yeah, it hurts, but as you can see from what YOU said, the only person you are hurting with all this retaliation is yourself. He isn't doing jail time because you lost your mind. You are. He is not on house arrest because he worked you over, you are. Let it go.
Last, but not least and most importantly, let go and let God. Give it to God and He will handle this dude. This is out of your hands and the only thing you can do to yourself is hurt yourself.
You are screwing with the guy you are dating just like ole boy screwed with you. You are on the rebound and you are using old boy to get you through. That's not a problem in itself, but if you don't care about him, don't use him. You can't worry about how you appear to everyone else. You can only care about how you feel about you and you need to pick up the pieces and move on. I don't mean to make light of your situation because I, too have been there, but what I did was I picked myself up, gave myself to God and let Him take care of me. I am now stronger and married. I have been married to the same man for 11 years when I thought I would never marry again. My x husband had a child with my best friend, so that was very difficult, but I didn't let him get the best of me and that's the key. You can't let this guy get the best of you, but he is when you shut yourself off from the rest of the world and basically stop living your life.
You have to believe you are better than what he is making you out to be. You are allowing him to run you down, in fact, you are helping him to run you down. Like Mariah Carey says, shake his *** off. You can't sleep with someone because they make you happy for a minute. You have to stop and get ahold of yourself before you can enter into a relationship with anyone and you have to know who you are before anyone else can know you and most of all, you have to love you before you can care for anyone and right now, you don't. Re-read your post and you will see what I am talking about.
Hope that helps...
2006-08-15 20:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by tikki85@sbcglobal.net 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
see your doctor or a therapist
STOP putting yourself down, accept the facts and LOVE yourself no matter what. remember you are NOT alone
2006-08-15 20:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yahoo answers is not a substitute for therapy.......
2006-08-15 19:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by charice266 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I suggest counseling or therapy!
2006-08-15 19:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u need some help... u need to see some psychiatrist...
2006-08-15 19:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by christopher d 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋