Am I picking favorites?!?

Question

My 3 year old daughter has been picking on her almost 2 year old sister a lot lately. I feel like I am almost always yelling, or punishing her for it. I feel as if I am picking on one child all the time, and choosing my almost 2 year old over my 3 year old. I have always tried to make things even between my girls, but I feel like I am high strung with an infant now, and being separated from my husband. I just need a little advice on this ... should I take a break from my kids?

Answer 1

the oldest one is probably acting out because she feels left out and wants some attention. I know it is stressful with three kids and your husband away but while the younger 2 are maybe down for a nap make some special time for you and your oldest daughter to spend some mommy and me time together. Even if you just sitdown and color for 15-20 minutes focus those precious few moments on her and my bets are that she won't act up nearly as much!! She just wants a piece of her mommy's time....Best of luck!

Answer 2

Have you tried playing up the big sister role. Every time your three year old is playing nicely complement her. Children love attention and will take any kind they can get. If they are not hurting each other, do not be so quick to jump in let them settle things. Do not worry about treating the girls equally, give each child what they need. I would try to give each child space to play separately from time to time as well. Three children under 4 can't be easy, I you could arrange for a few hours off each week it should help you.

Answer 3

You are not picking favorites your three year old is just having some behavior issues now. Maybe she's stressed about you and her father being separated and just needs a little reassurance that both of you still care about her. You could spend a little extra time with her and if you and her father are on speaking terms talk to him about calling and talking to her a few times out of the day.But if not just give her a little more attention. Sometimes she might just need a little time to herself and justmight need to be separated fromher little sister for a while.But also stress that she is the big sister and that sometimes her little sister needs her attention and just wants to play with her big sister who she loves very much.Also tell her if her sister is bothering her to come tell you. Sometimes they work things out for themselves.

Answer 4

It sometimes seems we have children who are opposites. Kids that are so close in age (mine are almost 7, the other is 8) tend to get used to dealing with each other. You will see in time, that the younger one will learn (if you let her) to stick up for herself and deal with the older sister in her own way. Sometimes we feel we need to mediate every single fight......and after awhile I learned to let them duke it out a little. It toughened up the younger one, learning how to deal with his older brother. Stay out of it, unless it's really nasty or physical. Let them figure out the politics of the relationship. And ya know what? Sometimes one is simply "not so nice"........and when you have that (I have that too).......it helps tremendously to pay extra attention to the "not so nice" kid. Take special time with your 3 year old, give lots of praise for "good behavior", do special things with her. It will help her simply be in a "better mood" and tend to be nicer to her little sister.
And yes......with the ages you have, you deserve a break. Everyone needs some time away from the kids to regain your energy and a positive outlook.......it also gives you a new perspective when you return to them.