Help! I'm in love with my best friend. We're incredibly close and share all the same joys and fears in life. I've told her that I'm in love with her, but that I expect nothing in return, as she is in a relationship. We work together, and spend a lot of free time together too. We've helped each other through some incredibly difficult situations and have also had some of the best experiences of our lives together. We've never done anything physical, and I dont want to push those boundaries. Trouble is, I can't fall out of love with her and its beginning to hurt. A lot. I don't want to lose such an amazing friend and such an incredible connection that we both acknowlede, but the pain is almost unbearable. I haven't told her how much it hurts, as she's so nice it would upset her incredibly. We've tried distance, but we both fell apart. She's never told me how she sees me and I dont want to ask, as I dont want to make her feel bad about hurting me or her partner. Help!
2006-08-15 11:59:19 · 14 answers · asked by . 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is not knowing really worth it? The only way you will ever move forward is to face the situation head on. If you both have fallen apart when you are separted from the other, then I'm thinking maybe her feelings are more on the line of yours. However, if she doesn't feel the love in the same way you do, I'm sure she respects and loves you enough as a friend to tell you the truth. In my experience, not knowing could be more damaging than knowing. Think of all the time that could be lost when you could be starting a life together. I say ask her how she feels.
2006-08-15 12:13:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is why it's such a bad idea to have opposite sex friends. you'll be amazed how many people get into the same situation. you've had your time together but you'll never be with someone who can love you if you stay friends with her. the situation will explode in your face. you don't die from breaking off a friendship. you grow and learn. you are talking like you have an addiction. if you were meant to be together you would be already. you will both hurt others and end up alone and sad unless you find a way forward without each other. you are a cuckoo in the nest so get out, you've been so blessed to have a friend like this but the season is over. make your own life or you'll be miserable forever. my bf went through this and it's given him so much heartache. he's found it hard to trust and it hurt me like hell. please don't do this to anyone else. the sense of betrayal for others is so great and you'll eventually need to bond to someone else. your story make me cry because of what has happened with my bf and his friend. it ruined his marriage and relationships and i've had to be so strong that it made me ill.
2006-08-15 12:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by minerva 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave it! No really! I would personally never jeopardise someones relationship, especially if they are someone you really care about. Without wanting to sound patronising, it is hard but not impossible to fall out of love with someone, and (again really don't want to patronise!) are you certain the love you feel is of a romantic kind, and not of the love that very close friend would naturally share?
If it is really hurting you that much than perhaps it would be best to concentrate on other friends you have or look for someone who IS available, that way you could double date and get the best of both worlds, see your best-friend and your girlfriend at the same time!
2006-08-15 12:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by Christian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all i can really say is, go for what ur heart tells u. have patience and wait until the time is right to tell her how much it hurts and to ask her how she feels about u. Maybe if and when she finishes her relationship with the guy...u 2 can have a chance. if its something that u think might ruin the relationship then try to forget about her because being best friends can last forever but sometimes love can ruin that. Good Luck!!!
2006-08-15 12:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by jelly1505 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, you dont mention how long you hav known each other, or whether her partner is her boyfriend or husband.
I believe you now need to tell her, to break the ice, and say how inside your heart it hurts, because of course you love her.
You really need to know, if she is deeply in love with her partner. I know you may think thats a little personal, but take into consideration your feelings at this moment in time.
Until then, you can only respect each other as best friends.
Love is so Powerful, it can blind you, but love also has emmence patience if its True Love. Nothing can or will get in its way, if you are both meant to be. Be happy whatever..
2006-08-15 12:47:38 · answer #5 · answered by Petal62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no! I feel for you, I have been in a similar situation myself, but we got together for a while and it didn't work out, now we don't have anything at all as it would be way too hard. It sounds to me like you are meant to be together, what will be will be as the old saying goes! But I wish you loads of luck!
2006-08-15 12:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by Emma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two soon like soul mate to me but you have never asked her how she feel about you then ask her cause there is nothing wrong with a trueful answer and if she fell apart while you were distance then it tell me that she also have feelings for you son asak her and if she says no move on the pain will leave in a while but be strong good luck
2006-08-15 12:12:55 · answer #7 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask her how she feel so that you can close a chapter in your life. An go out and find someone that you can love and love you back. I don't think that love will leave and then again it might will but it's going to take some tine nothing happens over night especially like love.
2006-08-15 12:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should talk to her about it and u would never know she might have fellings for you to..If you dont ask her and your finding it hard to fall out of love with her then you will spent your time thinking aout what could have happened so if you ask her at least you will know how she feels about you in return and you wont drive your self mad wondering what might have happedned . hope everything works out ok for you! .
2006-08-15 12:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by poppy! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how old you are, love is invinsible...does she REALLY love this other guys she's dating? If not, wait for them to break up and show her your love with something extremely romantic, like a song or poem...or, you can pledge her love right now, so get on the phone!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-15 12:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by PrettyKitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋