i am getting married in a month. i an not happy...my bridesmaids are fighting-mom is bossing-anyone else ?

Question

it just seems like a lot of stress for something that should be wonderful. is anyone else having or has had this problem? if so, what did you do to make things better...and no, we can't elope....lol.

Answer 1

Oh, I so know what you mean! I'm trying to handle it with humor and graciousness, but it's really getting on my nerves. Anyone who thinks the wedding day is all about the bride is mistaken. Everyone wants to have their say.

To help with my bridesmaids, I pulled each of them aside and gave them a nice talking-to. I told them each why it was so important for me that they were sharing my day with me. "You've been my friend for years." "You're my rock!" "You really understand me." Whatever. Sure, some of it was a little gushy and over the top, but so be it. Then I told them specifically what I needed them to do for me. "You're so patient and kind, I would really appreciate it if you could help make the older people feel at home at the reception." "You're so much fun, would you mind making sure people get out on the dance floor?" This made them feel special. Plus they weren't getting in each other's way.

As for my mom, well, there's really no help for it. I just try to remain nice, but firm, and say "I like the idea, but that's just not going to be very meaningful for us. We'd rather.... because....."

Anyway, hang in there, sister! Just keep it in your heart and mind that whatever happens, you will be happy on your wedding day. God bless!

Answer 2

You don't have to elope to get everyone settled down. Try doing what I did. I did not have any bridesmaid and my husband did not have any grooms men. That way its all about the bride and groom. Besides you dont have to spend any extra money on the other dresses or tux's. And as for the mom deal, just sit her down and very calmly explain that this is " your" wedding not "her" wedding and you would really appreciate if she would just stand on the sidelines instead of playing on the field. If you know what I mean. And ask her that you will ask for her help when you request it. That day should be the greatest day of your life.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going smoothly. You are working towards what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life and it sounds like turmoil.

The best advice I can give is to ask your mother to perhaps not boss everyone around but be the organising figure afterall she's arranging everything and she is trying to make sure everything is properly done. Your bridesmaids will need to put whatever differences they have aside and learn to get along until after the ceremony and reception. My wife (of 8 years) and I hope you have a wonderful day and that you have a long and happy marriage.

Good luck and best wishes to you both.

Answer 4

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! It is a LOT of stress -- I had two friends at WAR because of a surprise wedding shower that is no longer a surprise. They each would call me to gripe about the other and I got caught in the middle so much I'd end up crying and threatening not to go at all. They've started talking (barely) to one another again and I've decided to let it go. I finally told them both to stop the fighting because it is just not worth the stress -- I have too much to do! (wedding is less than 3 weeks away.) Try to focus on what this is all about -- you and your groom and your future together. Good luck!

Answer 5

As the date gets closer, the stress levels rise.
Tell your officiant what's going on.
Will there be a coordinator at the chuch? Some churches have them. If you haven't discussed the specifics of the ceremony let him / her know what you want & take charge of the rehearsal. It will go much smoother.
I'm fairly easy going but still demand respect. There's some officiants, from stories I've heard, that can show the people involved, just who's boss!

Answer 6

I think I'd tell them all, Jackie. Use your feeling words...I know, corny. But say something like, "the way that you're acting is hurting my feelings and making me not feel excited and happy about my big day." Sometimes when someone knows how something is making you feel, they'll back off. Good luck. And yeah...you could elope! (My fiance and I are having a wedding for about 12!)

Answer 7

Well, dont let that get to u. It should be the most happiest time of ur life. Planning ur wedding!! Just do things ur way! Ignore all those fighting k? If ur mom is bossing u around, maybe its cuz she wants everything to go alright! Think about that. If u dont think its that, if u think shes doing that cuz she dosent want u to get married, then talk to her and tell her nicely to back off! Lol

Answer 8

Repeat after me:

Deep breath in

Hold it for a bit

And exhale while saying "Everything will be ok"


I was totally at my wits end before I got married. You feel like you have tons of stuff to get done, not enough time, and your attention is being pulled 100 different directions. It'll all be over soon and you won't remember any of this.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I feel for you. It's hard to be the one in the middle. The only thing you can really do is just focus on what you need to do to make it through this event. I wouldn't worry about everyone else because 1) you can't please everybody and 2) you can't control them anyway . Just worry about you and your fantastic wedding coming up!

Answer 10

Dear miss,YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!Don't worry about the things around you,try to do your job/regular activities and don't worry about the preparations!The best preparation for you is to look great,rested and happy on THE DAY!So,just relax and visit some sides to learn some more about enjoying in marriage and get your self a KAMA SUDRA! CONGRATULATIONS!