why is depression so awkward?

Question

ive been great all day but now its come night time ive dropped like a lead balloon. im not going to sleep, and now im going have to hurt myself just to get through the night. god life sucks. cant wait for it be over.

im under medical help but dont see shrink very often. the meds arnt working again so got go through it all again

Answer 1

I'm in exactly the same postition. Nobody knows about what i'm going through apart from people on this site. Lately it's getting worse again and I've resorted to cutting my legs so that no one can see them.

With it being summer i can't wear long sleeves that often so I haven't cut my arms at all. It's got to the point where I simply cannot wait till winter so I can begin to cut my arms again and feel safe in the knowledge that i can hide them.

I keep telling myself I will go to the GP - like last night, I was so sure that today was the day when I'd walk into the Doctors and tell her everything and start on my 'path to peace'. But something prevented me from going again - i feel like crap still.

I'm hoping you understand where all this is coming from. I can't explain my feelings. I've lost all my friends because I became secretive and felt unworthy of their company so I didn't bother with any of them any more. So it's just me. Alone. Of course I'm surrounded by a loving family but that's what makes it worser as guilt then sets in. It's just a never ending cycle.

Have you managed to go to the doctor? If so - you are so brave and I sincerely CONGRATULATE you on that. I can't bring myself to walk out the door and walk half a mile down the road to see mine.

I know i'm going to cut again soon - it's expected of myself now. I doesn't hurt anymore. It's just a way - a release of letting it all out. Sorry that you feel so down but remember that their are people out there that can help you - and if you wish to get the help - go and seek it - because you are a beautiful person - and I'm saying that because amongst all the problems we face and all the troubles we feel - we are people with thoughts and feelings at the end of it all - and I know - and I just hope we can be loved and appreciated - we just need to reach out and ask for the help and we should recieve it from those who are willing.

If you ever need to talk to some one who understands then talk to me, I don't mind at all and enjoy giving advice - even though it's pretty ironic

Much love,
xx

Answer 2

lots of people feel like that, its called diurnal (not sure spelling) variation, where you feel at your worst first or last thing in the day, the best thing to do is to expect it and plan to be busy, distracted or asleep. Self harm is a short fix but has long term consequences (scars etc), your mood will lift it just takes time (meds) and remember the morning should feel better than now. If really need to self harm try an elastic band on your wrist pull hard it hurts and marks, temporarily, or an ice cube on your wrist (really hurts) no marks. hope some help.

Answer 3

If this is any use to you I know how you feel and I know how crap it is to be still awake at five in the morning waiting to go to work. What cheers me up is my wife and my dog but it is being alone that hurts. I joined a gym and exercise really lifted my mood I get on the treadmill put my ipod on shuffle and run my socks off things ain't great but they are getting better. I cannot explain why things get to me so much, they just do but what I can say is that hurting yourself is not the best or only way to ease your pain if you think of what you love to do then go and do it.The sun is shining today so that is a start

Answer 4

if u want a quick way to vent stick ur face in a pillow and scream just as loud as u can. the pillow will muffle the sound a little and screaming will relieve all the frustration thats pent up inside u. i used to go thru the same thing u are. dont cut ur self because it only helps for a little while and then u r right back where u were before. screaming in a pillow works pretty good or u can lock ur self in a quiet room and take deep breaths inhale thru the nose and exhale thru ur mouth. this helps to relax u. or maybe u just need someone to talk to. someone that will let u talk, yell and cry without being judgemental.

Answer 5

Tough question, I suffer from the same condition. Trying to deal with it made me an alcoholic. I got dry and lif was still kicking my ****, found about depression, got meds and most of time life is ok, First make sure you are getting the right meds; go talk to a medical professional about counseling. The condition robs you of your self esteem, then kicks you once you are down. I would talk to a DR about may being bi-polar, lay the unvarnished facts out, make sure they specialize in depression. go to www.caniknow.com

Answer 6

My heart goes out to you... it's tough, but you can get through it, fight a bit for yourself... and get medical help, really. If you've got your family around you giving you support, you can get through it yourself. Otherwise, a short course of meds isn't a bad thing, just think about it. It's really not worth it spending extended periods of your life in depression, there's so much to get out of life...

You're going to do self-harm? Man, share the problem... in a way, I guess, you already have.

Answer 7

I used to get very depressed and have up to 8 panic attacks a day, and believe me there was a time that i wanted to end it all, like you i couldn't sleep at nights and had this knotted feeling in my stomach all day long and had terrible anxiety attacks, that was 3 years ago. I tried anti-deppressants and they did not work, then I discovered "Amoryn" it's all natural and it really does work, my panick attacks have stopped and can now sleep at nights. please do not suffer any longer, visit the website below and see for yourself, i have nothing to do with the website and am not trying to sell you anything, I am just trying to help you out, please believe me that this really works. good luck

Answer 8

You automatically feel better during the day as the light makes our brain release chemicals that make us feel better. Obviously when it comes to night the light isn't there anymore so you feel down as the chemicals aren't being released. You can get a daylight bulb that can help with this.

You could always see your doctor about it too.

Answer 9

Check this out. It has been determined that depression is often caused by restricted blood flow to the brain. Eliminate that and your depression is gone!
Article about 2 weeks ago in Science News.

Answer 10

Have you seen a doctor?You seem to be in quite a depression and a doctor would be able to help you..Before you decide to hurt yourself, call the Crisis hot line and TALK to someone there..