I have had it out with him so many times about this, He just wont listen. I currently have a boyfriend now who everyone likes and treats me good. Of couse my dad does not. I realize that i am daddy's little girl, I am an only child and my dad is widowed. I just think its time he gets over it. Am i right? He is very disrespectful to my boyfriend. He never says hi or shakes his hand and has not even gotten to know him in 6 months. This is my first boyfriend in a 4 yr dry spell. I asked him for some support and at least fake a little niceness. I cant even get that. We are having a family get together in a month and my dad counted enough steaks for the family. When i asked did you include my boyfriend he said no. I think its just rude. i am 32, time to get over it. I live in my own place and have a good job. I actually get embarrassed by the way he acts. I have actually talked to him about this but it is thru one ear and out the other. What to do?
2006-08-15 10:31:27 · 45 answers · asked by two_bratty2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I disagree with most of these answers. My Dad is a lot like yours, on some of the same issues. When I divorced the first time he was so rude to a couple of my dates I sat down and cried, I was 23 then. I am 49 today and if it weren't for my Mom "telling" him, yes I mean getting in his face and saying he had to be nice to my fiancee, my Dad would ignore him just as yours does. I know my Dad loves me and in his heart he only wants what is best for me but he does not see the hurt and anger I go through when he is so rude to my friends. The way I handle it is by doing what I want for my own happiness and without rubbing Dad's nose in my affairs I go to family gatherings with my fiancee and if I visit if he's with me so what, we go in and we visit. Dad manly just sits and watches TV. My fiancee knows how my Dad is and understands it is not him that Dad dislikes as much as me being with him. We take my Dad as he is and love him anyway. He won't change.
2006-08-15 10:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No matter what your dad is not going to think any man is good enough for you. You should just ignore your father when he gets this way. Tell your boyfriend your sorry your father is acting like a little boy, but he has a hard time letting his little girl go. Even though you have been a grown woman for quite some time now. You can't make him accept your boyfriend. Maybe if your dad sees how great your boyfriend treats you he will come around.
2006-08-15 10:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rest assured that you are not the only person that has to deal with something like this.
Try to understand where your father is coming from. But he's being selfish. Your father needs someone else in his life, other than you. But if you suggest such a thing, he will balk at the idea. I am sorry for your father's loss. You don't say how long it's been., so I can't really say anything concerning that matter.
But it's time for you to claim the life that is yours. Do as you see fit, and when you can, include your father in the activity. If he doesn't want to go along then don't force him. You are catering to him & he thinks he has you where he wants you. If you show him he no longer has power over you, he will either come around & join in or he'll be a lonely old man. It's his choice.
2006-08-15 10:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your dad why he treats your boyfriend badly. Maybe you both need to listen to each other. It's hard to believe that it's just because you're his daughter. Are you sleeping with your b/f? If so, your dad probably thinks that your boyfriend is disrespectful of you. If this is the case, have some respect for your father's morality and don't expect him to bless what he considers a grave sin and an endangerment to your everlasting life.
2006-08-15 10:56:49 · answer #4 · answered by Mary W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Your dad seems to have some major issues. I think you should date the guy anyway, regardless of what your father thinks. Being a grown up is about independence, and making your own decisions. The guy is nice to you, so there is nothing wrong with going out with him. So I would continue to go out with the guy, but don't rub it in your dad's face. Don't invite your boyfriend to family events where you know your dad will be there. Or, you could choose not to attend family events if you can't bring your boyfriend along. Occasionally remind your dad that you love him and you will always be there for him, but you are a grown up and would like to have your own family someday. Encourage your dad to seek counseling for his issues.
2006-08-15 10:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by LAGrrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your dad, "I feel embarrassed by your behavior. If this is how you are going to act, then you are forcing me to stay away from you. When you feel you can show respect for my boyfriend, give US a call, maybe we all can meet. Until then, I love you, but I can't not accept your behavior." Then stick to it. The ball will be in his court. He must choose: continue with the behavior or get his little girl back. I'm sure, depending on how stubborn he is, he won't take long to make his mind up. -Good Luck with your dad
2006-08-15 10:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by penagian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you may have to get a little tough, and tell your dad that if he's going to be that rude and unwilling to accept your boyfriend, then you're not going to attend this social gathering. Because it's not going to be fun for you to go if he's going to insist you attend alone. You're going to be unhappy and angry because you feel so controlled. That does not mean cutting off all contact with your dad, but it means not going to social events as "the single daughter" when you're not: If there's an event you feel your boyfriend would "normally" be accepted at, just don't go if you're expected to go alone. Decline. And maybe it means seeing less of him overall till he quits being so manipulative, and treats you with some respect.
2006-08-15 10:44:09 · answer #7 · answered by kbc10 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is yaw sleeping together? Just Kidding. But thats what he acts like. Tell him he needs to show you the same respect that he expects from you. You are both way grown. Enjoy your boyfriend. You'll never get a husband messing around with your crazy dad.
2006-08-15 10:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by sha scrilla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind your dad that you're not 16 anymore and can make your own decisions about your life. If it was me, I'd tell him that I wasn't going to let him be a part of my life until he accepts that fact and starts treating you with the respect that you deserve. May sound harsh but he really needs to wake up and realize he's treating you so bad. He should want you to be happy, not be dragging you down.
2006-08-16 03:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by Troublemaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 32 years of age, your life is definitely your own. You no longer need to please your father, you are an adult. Gently explain to him that you know he only wants the best for you, but as you are an adult you need to make your own decisions about who or when to date. Tell him that he does not have to like your current boyfriend, but that he does have to show civility and respect toward him, if only for the fact that he is with you.Tell your father that you will not be attending the family get together if your boyfriend is not counted in the number who will be eating, and is not treated in a respectful manner. Be prepared to stick to your decision to not attend if your father sticks to his decision to be rude toward your boyfriend.Tell your father that your boyfriend is attendiing as your guest and should be treated accordingly. You will never be able to change your father's behaviour, as embarrasing as it is to you, but you can change the way you react to it. Good Luck.
2006-08-15 10:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋