My friend asked me to be a groomsman, but now my wife is mad because she will have to sit on the sidelines during the wedding. What should I do? I haven't seen any etiquette that suggests what to do.
2006-08-15 10:21:51 · 27 answers · asked by Piscesluvr 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
That is true, the bridal party usually sits together during the reception. Are there any other groomsmen's wives/girls who she can sit with? In the same regard are there any husbands/boys who are with the bridesmaids she can sit with as well? You should have an alternative table for all the spouses/significant others so no one is left out. And when it comes to the dancing afterwards you can always be with her, because there will be no arrangements after the meal.
2006-08-15 10:28:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is being petty. Is she really upset that she will have to sit alone during the ceremony, or could there be more to it? I think what you do depends on how upset your wife is. You should be a groomsman, but not at the cost of your own marriage. Talk to your wife about it and try to find the root of her feelings. Explain that your friend asked you to participate because he loves you and you don't want to let him down, and nobody is trying to leave her out. Good luck.
2006-08-15 10:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by M L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to sound mean but.... she needs to get over it.
Countless couples have been split up during weddings. I attended a wedding with my partner this weekend - he was in the wedding party and I didn't know anyone else there. BUT I made friends with a loth of people (and esp the other girlfriends/wives that weren't in the wedding party) and I had a blast!
Plus, you are only separated during the ceremony and at the head table for dinner. You can spend the rest of the time together if you want!!
She shouldn't ruin this special opportunity for you and your friend- it's such an honour to be selected as a part of somebody's wedding party. Your wife should be happy for you!
Cheers :)
2006-08-15 10:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by Gryphon 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is an honor to be asked to be a part of the wedding party. Your wife should be happy for you.
I've been the date of the best man ---- it's not fun. Make plans ahead of time with your wife, so that she knows someone to sit with at the ceremony. At the reception, go out of your way to not only do your groomsman-duties, but to make sure that you entertain your wife (i.e. dance with her).
Have fun and make sure the happy couple and your wife have fun too!
2006-08-15 14:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Darby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your wife to chill. This is your friends special day. She should be understanding to the fact that she got married once and knows how special this day is. If she can't understand that, she's acting pretty selfish. Do you guys have kids your bringing? Does she not want to sit alone? Doesn't she know anyone? If the answer is no to these, Then she just needs to be understanding about it. It's just for the ceremony and beginning of the reception. After that your all hers.
2006-08-15 11:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by jhrkickin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife to stop being a self-centered baby.. isn't there someone else at the wedding that she can hang out with? She must know someone else. You should accept, it is your friends big day, it's not all about your wife. You should show her these answers you're getting and maybe she'll realize how selfish she is being... she wants to screw up someone else's wedding because she can't stand to live without you for a few hours! Gimme a break. I was a maid of honor at my sister's wedding, I went with my boyfriend, and he didn't know anyone there (except my parents) and he didn't expect me to stand by him and hold his hand the whole time. AND we still spent plenty of time together and we both had lots of fun, and he got to get to know my family better! Tell her to grow up.
2006-08-15 10:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm terribly shy & hate going to those kind of things by myself. Once, my husband was in a friend's wedding & he had to sit at the head table during the reception.
My husband was very sweet & walked into the reception with me and introduced me to some of the people that I would be sitting with during dinner. He asked one of his single guy friends (who was also sitting at the table) to keep me entertained. It may sound awkward, but i actually had a really fun time.
2006-08-15 12:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kerri Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel forced to bypass such an honor because your wife can't also be a participant. If she's afraid of appearing as a loner at a wedding, tell her to shine up her ring and flaunt that baby! Seriously, don't let your wife's insecurities ruin your good time or your friendship. This is an awesome time for you and your friend and nothing short of death should interfere.
2006-08-15 10:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Carlover29 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In traditional wedding ettiquette, the groom chooses the male members of the wedding party and the female members are chosen by the bride. One option would be to ask your friend, the groom, if his bride-to-be could find someplace in the wedding for your wife. This being said, keep in mind, and perhaps she needs to understand this, as well: the wedding is about your friend and his fiancee, not about the people they choose to be in the wedding. A wedding is not, as some may believe, a chance to get dressed up and stand in the center of attention. Your wife should realize that your friend chose you to be his groomsman because he cares for you and wants you to be a part of what he plans to be the most special day in his life. He has asked you to participate in that day, and, if you care about your friend, you should not turn down the oppurtunity to show your love and support for him because your wife is upset because she can't get any of the attention. Remind your wife that you are doing this because he wants you there, and, in turn, the bride-to-be has chosen women that she cares about and would like to have beside her on that special day. Unfortunately, you wife was not chosen as one of those special people by the bride-to-be and that decision should not affect your ability to stand beside your friend as he makes a major life decision. Your wife probably does not know just how selfish she is being when she should be proud of you and your relationship to your friend. After all, he cares about you enough to ask you to stand beside him when he commits himself to another person for the rest of his life. Talk to your wife and remind her of the pride she should have for your relationship with your friend and remind her that there were probably lots of people that wanted to get the attention of being in your wedding but that you both chose the people you cared about the most to stand beside you on that day. If she's not completely heartless, she will understand that she is only going to show her support of the engaged couple and to wish them well on their journey through life together. If she is more interested in being in the wedding, or, better yet, more interested in not having to sit alone, then perhaps she should stay home, but she should not influence you negatively regarding your relationship to the groom.
2006-08-15 10:42:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She still can participate by helping with flower arrangements or serving cake and punch. This will help her become more acquainted with everyone without feeling left out. She could also put some things together for the kids to do after the wedding so they don't drive everyone nuts. twister, sack races, something like that.
2006-08-15 10:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by wink 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋