this ? is for women over 20. in other words, not for teens. and definitely not for guys. thats nasty!! lol?

Question

recently seperated, im gettin ready to go into the dating world after 7 years. last time i dated, i had no children. now i find myself with 3--who i love more than life itself. my ? is this: what do women think of men with children? is it a good thing or a bad thing?? or does it really even matter? is it something that should be told on the first date that i have kids or should i wait till the 2nd? of course, its kinda hard to go without mentioning them. anyways, thank you for your help.

Answer 1

No worries...
The fact that you describe your children so lovingly will warm any woman's heart. At least the heart of the kind of woman you want.
Good luck.

Answer 2

BE upfront and honest.... Also don't introduce every female to your children. This only confuses them and creates more problems than their worth.
Also if and when you find the right woman (give yourself time and your children even more time) let the children know that they already have a mom and the "special lady" in your life is not there to take her place. Just for future and yes you WILL need this advice later on<----- trust from experience....

Also, the kids, beautiful , loving, darlings that they are will push your buttons and try to get you and "real" mom back together. They all do... don't take it personally.

Oh and first and foremost! Don't EVER EVER use your kids to hurt your ex because guess what your ex is an adult and knows what your doing... the only ones really hurt are the kids.... think about it cuz almost everyone does it intentionally or not.

Answer 3

I agree I think it depends on the woman. I would hope before you go on the first date with someone that you have had a few conversations where you would have talked about the children. Now if this is a blind date and you have not really talked to the woman and this is a casual thing, I would not mention kids until the 2nd date. Now if she mentions her kids then you go ahead and mention your kids. It doesn't really matter that you have kids, because now days just about everyone has them. Good luck.

Answer 4

I am 25. I don't know how old you are and how old your kids are, but if you will be looking for someone above 35-40then your chances of her accepting you with three kids is far greater then from women under that age. You should be honest from the first date and it will turn off a lot of women, so don't get discouraged. Most of the time women like to take care and be involved in the life's of their own kids (if they currently have any or will in the future). The idea of having someone else children in their life's is not that attractive. But maybe you will be lucky to find a woman who doesn't mind that.

Answer 5

I dont have kids so I wouldn't date a guy with kids. Its a lot to put up with not to mention their mother always having to be in our lives. Life and relationships are hard enough without adding in a whole family that is not mine. I'm sure when you were single and had no kids you would date a women with 3 kids. And I would want to know on the first date. Why waste your money on the second date if kids are a deal breaker ?

Answer 6

Back when I dated, between marriages,I didn't really talk about my personal life with strangers. I am not saying to hide the fact that you have 3 kids. If anyone is curious, tell them the truth. Some people don't enjoy being around kids, and there are many women who think you must make a choice between them and your kids. Don't worry about that, just enjoy going out, I doubt that you are looking for a wife at this point. Good Luck!

Answer 7

You should definitely mention your kids on the first date, noone wants to be side swiped with such an important factor. Be proud to be a father of 3 beautiful children! If she is not okay with that fact then oh well move on, their are plenty of great women who do not mind dating a man with kids, their are also plenty of single moms out there, so a man with kids is a plus b/c they understand that you can not run at the drop of a hat, that you have more responsibilities. Good Luck on your search

Answer 8

I hate to be negative, but I would not date a man with children, but then again I am young, only in my mid-20's. I do not think it is selfish, but relationships are hard enough and my lifestyle does not mesh well with children. You sound like a good man though and I am sure there are many women who would love you children. I would tell her on the first date, just mention it, its the right thing to do. There is not reason to hide them.

Answer 9

Now, you sound like a man! i was really glad to hear that you love your children more than life itself. so take my advise, tell the woman you finally date about them on the first date, i guess she'd appreciate it. there is a woman for every man. so if the first one you date runs away because you have kids, the next one may not. i guess you are looking for a serious relationship, and a better one? a good place to look is in the Church. Go to a sound Church, make Jesus Lord of your life and trust Him to help you make the right choice.

Answer 10

Try internet dating. Put it out there that you have kids and most of the people who respond will be open to it. My husband has full custody of his two kids from a previous marriage, and I've taken them on as my own. I also had a child of my own, which helps. Definitely get to know the woman and make sure she's someone worthy to be the step mother of your children. Also, do not introduce her to the kids unless you're looking for rings! Observe how she reacts to them and ask what they think of her. Most important, find a genuine person who would care for your kids just as much as you do. It is possible, and don't settle for any less!!!

Answer 11

Some women will want a guy with kids, and some won't. Mention your kids on the first date, as they're obviously a very important part of your life, but don't use them to make women interested and don't center all of your conversation on them.