I Need Opinions please??

Question

Ok,so my neice is 6 years old.I know some may say it isnt my business but im helping my sister raise them(My neice and nephew).Now,my neice is only 6 years old,and she was talking to one of her friends and said she has a "Crush" on one of her little friends.I see nothing wrong with it,she is only 6 and she acts way older than six and she is very smart.Anyway,My question is,would you scold her for saying this or not?I mean,my grandmother heard her talking to her little friend who is a little girl about this "crush" she has on a little boy and she scolded her for saying it.I feel as if it isnt a big deal.How i see it is,she will be scared and ashamed to speak freely about how she feels if she keeps getting scolded for speaking her mind.She keeps how she feels inside,sad,mad,happy reguardless she doesnt speak about it.I feel that one of these days she is going to have questions and concerns (when shes older) about things and she is going to be so embarassed and feel ashamed about asking..

questions about things she may be curious about.I know she is still young but i feel at a young age they should be taught they can ask questions if they are curious.We had a family argument over this and my grandma is having no part or paying attention to what i say about this.Does anyone agree? I wasnt raised to be ashamed to speak about my feelings or emotions and i dont feel she should be ashamed to speak them either.Is there a problem with her saying this??I need opinions on this.Thank you.

Ok,i DIDNT scold her for this,please those who are saying im being strict please read it again.I do not think there is anything wrong with it,i was asking what you thought about my grandma scolding her.I agree that she shouldnt have.My grandma tries to tell me how to act and i am 20 years old,only i can stand up and say i dont agree and can speak my mind,my neice is 6 and she wont do that.

She has never showed an interest in asking questions that relate you sex or kissing.She is only six.I feel my grandma is trying to tell her how to act and one of these days when she has questions she is going to find out from experiencing things she shouldnt because she was afraid to ask.

THank you guys for those wonderful answers,and i will keep checking this question to see if any new are added and i welcome all the opinions i can get,i am going to print this out and show my grandmother what other peoples opinions are.I felt i was doing the right thing by encouraging her to speak her mind,i had heard her say this before but didnt really pay attention to it i just asked his name and that was it.Now,she got scolded for it and she has backed off saying anything.I feel bad for her and told her to speak to me when she wanted to speak.My grandma even now,tells me how to act what a "lady" should say and so on and so forth only as i said above i am 20 and i tell her MY opinion and what is on MY mind instead of letting her tell me what is right for me when i can pretty much make decisions for myself.I have helped raise my neice and nephew snce they were born,and so i sort of look at her as a daugher,even tho she isnt mine i was doing what i would do with one of my own children

THese answers were great,I cant pick a best answer so im going to put the question to a vote.Good luck and Thank you soo much again.

Answer 1

I tend to agree with you.

Answer 2

When I was in Kindergarten I really liked a little boy. I was very smart for my age, and I would actually give him notes asking him to marry me circle yes or no. One day he said Yes, and I freaked out. LOL I had no idea what to do next. Hee hee. It just goes to show that there is nothing wrong with it. It is normal, and not anything anyone should fret over. My 9 year old now has had many crushes. I think it is sweet. He has good taste too. You should never scold a child for sharing their feelings. You really MUST encourage that. It will make them a more rounded person, and they will have less doubts about talking to you about things.

Answer 3

I personally think that there are two issues here and they should be addressed separately. so i shall.
issue 1- six yr. old with a crush?
when i was six i got in trouble for kissing boys on the bus, and yet here i am, having had my 1st boyfriend at 13, well after most of my peers. I think your niece having a crush is just fine, just as long as she doesn't take it to seriously or get overly upset if he doesn't like or notice her.
issue 2- freedom of speech and encouraging questions
encouraging children to ask questions is essential to them growing into independent adolescents and responsible adults. It has also been proven to make children smarter, if they are constantly asking questions, weather about word meanings, why things happen, or boys, your niece will grow to be a well informed individual if she asks questions and give her opinions now.

Best of luck with getting grandma to see the light,
wickedmadrachic

Answer 4

You are a wise person! You just let your niece know that just because grandma scolded her, that she should still speak her mind, ask questions and so forth. Teach her yourself, that she does not need to be afraid to talk, ask and show how she feels!

My 15 year old was always told by her grandpa, that children are to be seen and not heard! I told her differently. All children should be heard as well as being seen!

She became pregnant in Jan. and she was not afraid to tell me. She feels she can talk to me about anything, including her crushes.

Raise her good and raise her PROUD!

You go Girl!

Answer 5

I agree with you to a point... yes she should be able to speak her mind, but she is a Little young to have a crush, so instead of yelling at her and Scolding her, what should have happened was she was sat down and asked if she really understands what a crush is, and that she is a little young to have a crush. other then that you are right she shouldn't be scolded for talking about her feelings.

Answer 6

I have 2 boys, 15 and 18. My 15 year old is totally shy, while my 18 year old has been girl crazy since the age of 3 or 4. I have always encouraged him to talk to me about his feelings and have been there for him when he needed me. I was there to help him pick out a special Valentine's Day card, and I was there to hold him when his heart was broken. The best part of all of this is that at the age of 16, when he met the "one", he came to me before having sex to discuss it with me.
If you shut down the lines of communication now, they will not be there in the future when you need them the most.

Good Luck

Answer 7

I totally agree with you the problem is your grandmother grew up in a different generation then you and I and so she see things differently, it is not a big deal for a six yr old to have a crush but maybe would should discuss with her that grandma sees things differently and that she should watch what she says around grandma, just a suggestion

Answer 8

To me, it's perfectly normal for a child to have a crush on someone! No nothing wrong with saying it! You are right, she should be able to express herself! What does grandma want her to do hate everyone! Love is the best. When she asks a questin, give her the truth but as little as you can get by with until she's older!

Answer 9

I think your grandma is wrong for scolding her. She's 6 and like all children, she should be able to express her feelings for and about others without shame. If she cant talk about "boys" now, what happens when she's older, and is too reserved, shy, or embarrassed to talk to said boys, much less her family?

Answer 10

Your niece is only six and all kids get crushes and that is nothing to be ashamed of. She should never be scolded for this. I would never scold my daughter for this. In fact I think is is cute for a kid to have little crushes at their age. My daughter had crushes and I didn't think it was a big deal.

Answer 11

Obviously your grandmother seems to be raising the girl too. She doesn't sound too nice or understanding either. I would not scold the child for something so insignificant. I swear some people hang on their kid's every word just waiting for them to say something "questionable". They should just leave her alone.