How to handle my sister-in-law? (my husbands sister)?

Question

My sister-in-law is my 7 mth old dtrs sitter. She fed her babyfood when she was 4mths w/o my consent. She thought it was funny & emailed me pics of it. When confronted the nxt day, she said she wasnt going to call me cause she assumed i didnt want her to watch my baby. She has let other people (I know) watch my child w/o telling me. Her kitten scratched my baby in the face & told me nothing of it. She has let me down on numerous occassions. She backed out of my wedding. Failed at planning my baby shower. Me & my mom did everything but the food. She lies about always having money & she doesnt. Now shes makin excuses not to watch my baby. She is a drama queen & I cant stand the fact that she lies about stupid things to make her look good all the time. I dont know if i should tell her anything. She has 3 boys all under the age of 6 yrs, & wants a girl. I had the first granddtr in my husbands family & I think she is jealous at times. Im not sure how to handle this~~Please help!!

Answer 1

You need to simply stop having her watch your baby. It just sounds like she has things going on and doesn't have the time or motivation to give the care to your child that you would like to be given. As much as you want to give extended family a break, that is a bit much to keep putting up with. Has your husband seen any of this? Perhaps he might be the one to step in and say something, but you actually trying to talk to her would probably end up in a big fight. I really wouldn't keep trusting her with your child however. And if anyone asks why, then tell them exactly why.

Answer 2

Don't get angry at me, I'm just going to be honest because you sound just like me when I was younger and I needed someone to be honest with me. It didn't feel good at first but I am thankful for it now because now I see what an immature, selfish idiot I was:

What does that say about you if you would still want to leave your child with her if she was as bad as you describe?

Sorry, but take it from and idiot who has been in your same shoes. I'm just being honest because when I was younger I was also in denial about my shortcomings and it was easier to crucify someone else than to work on my own personality flaws. I'm not saying your sister in law doesn't have some issues, but come on, do you need her that badly to baby sit and help you with your wedding and shower?

She's making excuses not to watch your baby? Hello? She's a drama queen? She's jealous? It sounds like you've been using her and she's tired of it.

Someone had to be this honest with me at some point in my life and I finally grew up. I hope you take this advice with grace and understand that sometimes we have to look at ourselves when we start focusing on other peoples flaws too much. It usually turns out that it is your own self with the flaw, not the other person.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Why you would want this woman to continue watching your daughter, I have no idea, but I would highly recommend against it. She has shown nothing but contempt for your rules and you, your hubby and daughter.

As for "How to Handle Her" it is simple. Make sure that when she is around, you, your husband, or someone else you trust, is also around so that she is not in charge of your little one.

When you catch her in lie, do not make a huge production out of it (this only gives her the attention she craves and/or will insight her to more of the same obnoxious behavior). When you make big plans for events, do not include her in the planning unless it is absolutely necessary (to keep the peace) and then put her in charge of something inconsequential, so that if she doesn't follow through, it is of no lose.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, get your husband to back you up on this. She is his sister after all and he needs to stand up to her to protect you and your daughter from her misplaced "fits".

If she is still too much to handle, then start limiting your time with her to family events, where there will be plenty of other people present and if she starts grating on your nerves, you can pick your daughter up and go talk to someone else.

Answer 4

Find another sitter and then ignore her she is not worth your time and effort. And I mean no phone calls, don't ask his mother how she is, act as if she does not exist. Be polite and uptight to her at family events. Visit with others. Life is hard do any of us need extra drama in our lives? Make yours peaceful. Yes it will be a hassle and hard to find another caregiver but you can find one. Call your church see if there are any ladies there who might care from your baby. Invest yourself in you, your baby and your man. Make your home nice. If you don't have nice things make your home very clean. Do not waste time on this. I wish you well.

Answer 5

Yep... Find a different sitter. Don't let her around your kid unless you're there also. Quit talking or making any effort to include her in anything. Don't say anything if she gets up in your face or says anything to you... Ignoring someone and not letting what they have to say get to you is the best way to get back at them.

Answer 6

Find another sitter. Why jeopardize your daughter's life with this nutcase. At family gathering ignore her don't give her attention for drama queen behavior.

Answer 7

Tell this crazy lady how you feel. Straight up and up. No holding back. Explain all the f*cked up sh*t she has done to you in the past, and let her know how it makes you feel. Maybe that will change things. She is family...no matter what.

Answer 8

How to handle her? Don't bother. Keep her away from your children and out of your house. I know that she is your husband's sister, but you can see her at family gatherings only. She isn't trustworthy. Be civil, but don't try to make her a friend.

Answer 9

First of all, find another babysitter for your child. It does not sound like your sister in law is capable of taking care of your kid. Be firm on this. It does not sound like she is a very responsible person.

Answer 10

Find a sitter! Dump the in-law.