I'm an Athiest (by choice) and my family isn't, What should I do?

Question

I went to church when i was younger and realized quickly that I didn't believe in God or Jesus. I had to take Confirmation, and i was told that it was to learn about god. Well, what I didn't know was that I would be graded in this "subject." I couldn't believe it, i was given a grade on not only how much i knew about god, but also how much they (being the pastor) thought i was "Into It." (I got a C-) I already had trouble grasping the fact that there was this "higher being" and this made it worse.

This basicly made me ask the question: If there was this "higher being" out there then why was my little brother killed by a drunk driver when he was 7 yrs old? I mean, if that could happen with this "higher being looking over us" how could anyone celebrate this? Now, (3 years later) i'm 19 and my parents are very religious people and they basically don't want anything to do with me. What should i do? I love my parents but with this between us, i don't see them changing their mind.

Answer 1

It is called "free will". God does NOT micro manage. Your brother was NOT killed by an act of God, but by a drunk driver. That driver has the same free will as you do. As your brother did.

Your parents love you, but I am sure they are having trouble LIKING you. Give them time. Love them.

I would like for you to think about the following:

Only one of the following is true: (A) Either all of the matter in the universe has always existed; or (B) God has always existed; or (C) they have both always existed.

If you opt for (A), then you must believe that somehow inanimate matter just created itself. After all,it had to get here somehow.

If you opt for (B), then you must believe that God is has always existed and will always exist. You must believe that God had no beginning and will have no end. He was not created, He has always existed.

If you opt for (C), you have a combination of both.

For me, I believe in God. No other answer makes sense.

Answer 2

Similar situation. My family turned all born again several years ago and now there's a large emotional rift between my family and I because we don't see eye to eye philosophically.

A week after I graduated high school I moved out because I didn't want to rot in that small town and didn't want to live in a house that was quickly becoming a church, so to speak. The geographic distance reduces any friction there might be but at the same time reminds us of how much we love and miss eachother.

We do very well and try not to let this fact disrupt or relationships and we know we still love eachother but it's hard when they think I'm hellbound and I think they're living a lie. Every time they've tried to "reconcile" i.e., guilt me into "coming to Christ" (great way to show Christ's love, right?) it has turned out very badly.

I'm not going to betray myself and swallow something that makes me ill, and I don't try to convince them that they're mislead. My parents feel like they're repsonsible for my spiritual welfare even though I am now 24, and it's hard for them going through life worrying that they're not going to see their youngest and only son in the afterlife.

But this is something I have to live with. They haven't disowned me, but it hasn't been the same since I stopped going to church. You are an adult and an individual now; to thine own self be true. For some, coming to that age where you're leaving the nest and establishing your own identity is more difficult than for others. As you know there is no easy solution, but if you can continue to show you love then and respect their choices, hopefully they can come to do the same. If not, well....you can only do what you can do. In time after things calm down it may be much easier.

Since I left home I've done so much and gone to so many places, met all kinds of people and learned so much. If you have the opportunity, try to do the same. I've got my own little place now, my own space, my own schedule...adulthood rocks, tend to this, but don't stop looking to the future...

Answer 3

I don't believe in God....but I'm not an athiest. I found another religion. Which people don't understand either.
But I do believe everything happens for a reason. I know it's easy to lose faith......but it wasn't the god that you believed in that killed your brother, it was a drunk behind the wheel of a car.
Give your parents and yourself time, keep the love and the communication open. There's nothing you can do to change their minds, stand your ground, but don't "preach your views".
Find a common ground and go from there.

Answer 4

I would love to be able to put my arms around you and tell you how much you were loved!! I lost a son 25 years ago and I felt God had left me. I didn't realize, until last year, he hadn't left me. I had left him. Your parents are probably hurt and disappointed with your reactions but believe me, they love you. I can't answer your question about your little brother. I do know that heaven needs all ages, even the babies that are aborted or die very young. You will, in time, need a higher power in your life and you will turn to that belief to survive. I wish you were close to my church. They have so many answers and the ability to back it up through scripture. Look around and ask yourself how all this universe is possible? Who, but a higher power, could have made all this. You sound like you are hurting and that hurts me. I don't know who you are but I will pray you find some comfort in your time of need and questions. God Bless

Answer 5

Try convincing them that in the future time travel will be possible because it will be figured out by a group of mathematicians and rocket scientists. And one day some stoned hippy happened to fall into this machine and went to the past. While he was there, he ran into this wedding party that ran out of wine but had plenty of water, and being the resourceful hippy, put a bunch of koolaid into the water and tricked these people into thinking they were drinking wine. Then while he was walking down the street, already with this amazing reputation, gave a blind man a pair contacts to let him see and gave a dirty man some soap to clean his skin. If your parents do not believe this story tell them it is just as logical as theirs.

Answer 6

You won't change their mind, they are praying you will open your heart and let the Savior in.

Bad things happen to good people, because, we live in an imperfect world full of evil and ill will. This is because of man's choosing. God gave man free will, and as usual, we screwed up!

As far as grading, God only requires one thing of us, faith in His Son, Jesus Christ, who gave His life for you, to pay the price of your sins, and mine, and the sins of that drunken driver, so that you, believing in Him, would have everlasting life, saving us from eteral damnation.

It is a shame that some pastors/priests do not share the complete gospel. The book of John would be a great starting place for you.

God Bless.

Answer 7

You're free to believe or not to believe what you want. This is why so many early colonists fought and struggled for. And the countless millions around the world died for: individual freedom and liberty. Your choice to be an atheist doesn't bother me.

I find your dilemma a matter of principle and nothing to do with religion. Stay on the course and be true to yourself.

Cheers!

Answer 8

I questioned the existence of God after 12 years of Catholic school but after several near death accidents I now believe. I lost my best friend at the age of 17. I believe only the good die young. I am sorry to hear about your brother but I believe he is in a better place. Remember minds are like parachutes, they work better when they are open. Try not to grieve to much but always remember him. When I pray to my best friend he sometimes signals me so that I know he is listening. Try praying to your brother.

Answer 9

stay the course. yoo have your beliefs and rightly so. point out to your folks that god DID give you the choice of free will. there's not point in believing in something you have no reason to just for the sake of making your parents happy. they are putting you in a position where you either conform or go your separate way. not very religious of them to do that but what can you do. if they truly love YOU for you then they will hopefully be able to tolerate your beliefs. my guess is they probably won't. it's your choice though, don't sway simply bcuz your being pressured into doing so.

""Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.""
Bertran Russell

Answer 10

Then that is your parents' problem. I am an atheist as well. I'm 14.

Whenever I mention it, my mother tries to deny it and give the usual Christian argument. (Where did we come from, why don't you believe in God, etc etc). My father even told me I was going to burn in hell-- too bad I don't believe in that either.

They should adjust to it.

"For me, I believe in God. No other answer makes sense."

That's how it is for most Christians. I say you're all weak-minded by believing in some supernatural being JUST because you can't comprehend everything in this universe.