We just recently started dating and he has lost his job. I have known him for years and he has a baby to take care of now. We are both on the lease, but I know good and well I am gonna have to pay the rent for September and all the utilities, etc. Food, and everything we need to get by. He is broke and in debt to his previous roommate as well. I feel like I am going to throw up, I am so stressed and in need of some good advice. I called him today on my lunch break and asked what he was doing and he said 'nothing' I dont know how to be more aggressive with him to tell him to get off his *** and find a job, time is of the essence here, and it seems like he doesnt care. I can't do this, I have enough bills of my own to pay for! Advice anyone? Please? Some good heart felt helpful advice!!
2006-08-15 08:36:43 · 21 answers · asked by TariJean 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honey, history has a way of repeating itself and if he's done this to a past room-mate, he's going to do it to you. It sounds as if his maturity level hasn't quite reached that of a grown man and he's expecting everyone else to take care of him. Don't! I know you want to, you may love him, but this is just a taste of what your future holds. And look at how you feel now? Do you want to feel this way for years to come? Tonight, sit him down and tell him he has to go to a temp agency (they find jobs for people that same day) and get something because with your other bills, rent is not going to be paid and the two of you are going to be evicted. Tell him flat out that you do not make enough to support the both of you and he's going to have to do his share or he'll have to do what is necessary to get off the lease so you can find a room-mate who actually does pay their bills. I know it's a harsh thing to say, and quite frankly I don't see you as the type of person who'd be so blunt, but in this situation, you are going to have to be. You can't do this to yourself. Healthy relationships are suppose to be a 50/50 thing...you know this. Either take the stand now, or let this go on until you are way in over your head and completely attached to this guy. If he really cares, he's going to get the job and do what is right, if he doesn't..well then, I'm sorry to say, he was just using you for a place to live. I wish you well honey and God will give you the courage to do what is right.
Oh, and if he does move out, until you can get another room-mate, talk to your parents. Tell them you made a bad mistake and explain the situation, how you handled it responsibly and ask them if they can help out for a month or two. Chances are they will and if they financially can't, there's always Grandma and Grandpa....they live for this stuff.
2006-08-15 08:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may not be able to kick him out but you can tell him that until he gets a job he won't be getting anything from you. No extra money, no extra food, and no sex. He needs to realize that any job will help out with the bills. He needs to apply at every fast food place in town, every gas station, every place that has any kind of opening. Even if he makes only minimum wage that is a big increase over nothing. If he won't or just doesn't make an effort then the relationship is over and you just survive for the next 13 months as best you can. You also might consider talking to your landlord and see if there is a way to get out of the lease. Some places would rather make a deal with you so they can rent to someone else than end up not getting any money. What ever you do get it in writing. Last but not least, learn from this situation...consider what you will do in the worst case situations like this before you move in with someone.
2006-08-15 08:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knew he was having all these issues before you signed the lease why did you sign the lease?? It sounds like the guy is too used to other people paying his way. Maybe you should give him an ultimatum, find a job in 2 weeks or get out. You should not be responsible for his lazy butt or his baby. Stand up for yourself, do not let people take advantage of you just because your nice.
2006-08-15 08:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get a job, you'll have to be blunt to get things done. If your name is on the lease, remove it, then everything becomes HIS responcibility. Ask a parent or friend for advice and maybe a loan on some money. Worst case is that you have to move out and move on and leave him behind to fall into more debt. I am rather against living with people I date. And if you JUST reciently got together, I don't see things working out too well with you guys living together, but good luck.
2006-08-15 08:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by 4eyed zombie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "he is broke and in debt to his previous roommate as well", this means you knew he had a problem paying bills before you moved in with him. Now you can either ask him to leave and get another roommate, male or female and/or try talking to the rental office to see what your options are with them. Sorry this has happened, but the warning signs were there beforehand.
2006-08-15 08:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it relatively is in all probability unlawful for her to have the youngster in there in the 1st place, i'm undecided yet i think of there's a regulation that states a newborn over 2 has to have their own mattress room. the place's the youngster going to sleep besides? The mattress room? do no longer think of so, no longer with a BF there. the front room? So the youngster would have 0 own area? no longer possibly that super the two. if your daughter and her BF can't have adequate money suited housing for her kin then the youngster would desire to stay with you, assuming it is an determination. As for the hire, i've got seen human beings in my complicated evicted for having too many human beings of their apartment (that they had 4 adults and 2 youngsters and a canine in a 300sq studio, canine are not even allowed in the complicated) that they had distinctive different violations yet too many human beings (and in maximum cases being thoroughly white trash) became into the main significant reason.
2016-10-02 03:13:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advertise for room mates, but see if you can get a friend of yours, even a cousin, to move in and help with the lease if you have to. Show him the answers you get here.
Try to help him get a good career job going, and if he doesn't turn out right, get someone who cares more about you and your baby.
2006-08-15 08:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd talk to the landlord-- a good one will let you out of the lease. You might have to pay a small penalty, but it will be worth it.
I've been with that kind of guy before. Run while you have the chance. He might grow out of it, but chances are he'll be a leech for as long as people let him.
2006-08-15 08:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by cleeps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him to get off his butt and get a job. If that doesnt help talk to you landlord about removing him from the lease and getting another roommate if you can.
2006-08-15 08:42:35 · answer #9 · answered by shantiqua_99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to go and get goverment help such as food stamps, medical insurance, and help paying your rent. Sometimes if you talk to your landlord they will help you find a cheaper apartment with them or even help you to back out on the lease of your place. If you get goverment help don't think of yourself as a loser or even your boyfriend they are there to help people who down on their luck. Good luck in your situation.
2006-08-15 08:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by Sandra B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋