Should I give up all rights of my children?

Question

let me start with I was always a good mother, no complaints from my exhusband until i started dating. he has turned me over to dhs, i have a counsler that comes to my house once a week, but she also goes to his house. my ex married a spoiled brat that does not care about her own kids feeling much less my kids feeling, she has turned her children against there father because he left her for another woman, then she tore my family apart. i am agood christian person, but they always find things that make me look bad. this all startedin july 05, i fought for my marriage for about 4 mo. and have fought for my kids up to this point. i have remarried and im very happy, but i dont see it getting any better until i get my ex and new wife out of my life, they have brain washed my children, and has told me he will fight me until he gets them. i dont think i can take much more

Answer 1

Those are your children and you love them, right? You need to do what is best for them. If it is best for them to be with you and your new husband, then fight for them all the way. If it's better (and it doesn't sound like it would be) for them to be with your ex and his new wife, then work out visitation with the courts. Your kids are probably going to need counseling either way, so if you decide to give them up, make it a stipulation in the court documents that they get help.

Answer 2

I am so sorry about your situation. my best friend is going thru the same sort of thing. How can a parent brainwash their kids and put bad thoughts about the other parent in the kids' heads?? If you sign over your rights to your children, then your kids will see that as you just abandoning them (with help from the stepmom). Plus you will be giving the father and the stepmom what they want. If you keep fighting for them, they will see it (maybe not until they are a little older) that their dad and his girlfriend were the jerks and then they can come to their own decision about how they feel. I hope you have a good lawyer. I hope the DHS thing was just spite and there really isn't any underlying cause for the reporting...DHS should see that what they did didn't have any truth to it...just keep informing your kids the truth. (that you DO love them!) and what ever other negative things the ex might have said, point the kids straight, but just don't play their game in badmouthing their dad! Good luck.

Answer 3

Unfortunatly,not many people these days have the same set of morals and beleifs that you hold up so high in your own home.But thats th key phrase."your own home".It will be a battle but you are going to have to just keep that strong upbringing in your house and let it be a house of God.Try doing more activities as a family and support your children in their own hobbies and activities.Hopefully this love will be enough to give them the confidance to make their own choice of what is wrong and what is right.Your children are probably very confused right now.All you can do is be there to help them and answer their questions as gently as possible.Don't ever say a bad thing about their father to them.No matter how frustrated you may be.Let them know at the same time that their father does love them.And as much as you may not want to,also give them the beliefe that the other woman is an adult and therefore has their best intrest in mind.Eventually they will see the difference between the two of you.And ultimatly who does have their best intrests in mind.Child services will not take your children away.Just keep visiting with them and remember that they are human too.Just keep your home clean.Keep your childrens welfare in mind and center your life around them and child services can't do anything to you.And they won't.I have had them called on me twice and both times they openly admitted that I was a good mother.Hope that helps.Email me and let me know how things go.

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Answer 4

There is not a man in this world that could get me to give up my kids. What will they think of you if you give them up, that will only show them that your ex is right and that you are a bad mother. Fight with everything that you have, and prove to the kids and the courts that you are a good mom. The counsler that comes to the homes can tell if you are a good mom or not, and I would show her that you are and not let the bastard win or hurt you any more. He must like control, and is still trying to control you through the kids because he knows that will get to you more than anything else...FIGHT FOR THOSE KIDS

Answer 5

Absolutley not.
They are your children. If the ex and his new squeeze want to play dirty pool, let them. Children are smart, and resilient. If you quit responding to anything negative that comes out of having been married to this jerk, and try to be positive with your children, they will eventually make their own decisions based on what they KNOW rather than what their Dad and their stepmonster are feeding them. Be the good mother that you know you are, and quit worrying about idle threats, and cruddy accusations from people whose sole purpose is to harm you, regardless of what's best for the kids.
Other than logistical discussions regarding where the children should be dropped off, picked up, homework, doctor visits and the like, discontinue talking to the ex and his squeeze.
When the children come to you with negative comments that have been fed to them, don't defend yourself or argue about it.
Say "I'm sorry that your father sees it that way" or "I wish that your father and I could keep this between he and I and not have to bother you with it" then change the darn subject. Quit allowing yourself to be victimized by their comments, and their negativity. Seriously, just quit arguing with these people. If their intent is to continuously be jerks until you cave don't do it, and don't give them any inkling that they are succeeding. I hate to ask, but are you being paid child support? Is that possibly the motive here? Do you have a lawyer helping you? Wonder what affect a lesser child support payment would have on the the efforts of the ex an his new wife?
Good luck.
Don't quit, you're kids may not always seem to appreciate you or be on your side, BUT if you give up, you're kids will always know that you gave up. That will never change.

Answer 6

OK look, no child deserves to be mis treated even emotionally. I'm going Thru a similar thing, you need to stand you ground, do not ever let any person come between you and your children, even a new wife or husband. your children are your future and you need them in your life, so DON'T BACK DOWN.unless you have been claimed totally an unfit parent then you still have every right to your children. now just because your ex has remarried and she is a complete B**CH, doesn't mean anything, the new wife of your ex needs to tuck her head between her legs and go the HE** on and stay out of personal family affairs that do not concern her.

Answer 7

So if your choices are (a) keep up the fight, or (b) give up. I'd say if you care about your kids it's an easy decision. Keep up the fight, and do what's best for your kids. Try not to take the attacks on your character personally. Your kids will know the truth by your actions, not by what someone else says about you. Good luck!

Answer 8

My parents went through this same scenario when we were all pre-school-aged, only Dad was the "bad" guy. (Neither parent was bad in retrospect, but emotions run high, things get said, children's minds are like clay...it got ugly.) Through our eyes, it appeared that the old man thought more of his new wife and her kids than us. Wasn't until years later that we realized, there was a whole lot more to that situation.

He's not with us anymore, but we'll never forgot how he fought for us, even when his chances of winning were basically nil.

Answer 9

you have to. they are your kids and you even said she doesnt care about her own. hold tight. divorced is never easy exspecially were kids are involved. you have to understand they know its your botton b/c you are a good mom.dhs has to see thats this is not right and at some point they can turn it around on him.b/c its looks like hes the one with the problem. talk to your kids honesly tell them what up and see what they want. he doesnt deserve them. plz hang in there. they say anything worth keeping is always a fight

Answer 10

For the sake of your children, don't give up. If you give up and what will they think of you ten years down the line? Their father's house sounds unstable, while yours could be stable. You need to try to work things out. Perhaps go to a therapist. They offer advice on these sorts of things. Good luck and don't give up.