What is wrong with me?

Question

I have a new boyfriend. I think he's great. Things are going good and he treats me really well. But sometimes (not too often) I get second thoughts about our relationship.

What bothers me is that he seems too invested in us, and I guess I have a bit more casual approach. I'm a bit turned off by his utter dedication at such an early stage. But maybe I'm just not used to being with such a great guy. Before him, I was in an 8-year relationship where the guy wasn't good to me at all.

So what's wrong with me? Could the fact that I don't find the guy super handsome have something to do with it too? I know....so many questions...

Answer 1

there is the problem you find a nice guy but don't want him. He's not a challenge. He's what you call a whimp. He cares and puts you first. There is nothing to complain about except that he is too giving of himself. This is a prime example of a female finds a good guy and doen't want him. Your next boyfriend will be a jerk and you will be happy cause you can complain about being treated like crap. but your next will be mister hot also. you have a good guy and I will bet you ill dump him and will say "your a nice guy but" and never talk to him about any of this. you help us nice guys prove that women don't want nice guys you just want to complain that you can't find one!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Just like everyone else (with the exception of that guy that thinks you should be a lesbian pornstar - get a grip) I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all.

I think maybe you should take a step or two back, and ask yourself a few questions - Is this relationship heading somewhere permanent? Are you happy with that thought? How long are you willing to invest if that's not the case? How's the rest of your relationship? Does he get along well with your family/friends/coworkers?

These are just a starting off point - I'm sure you know yourself well enough to ask yourself some other, more pointed questions. The last one should be - are my second thoughts normal, or am I trying to tell myself something?

Sadly, there's very little we can all specifically say to you - but I WILL say that I hope it all goes well for you.

Answer 3

He is just moving a little faster than you want and is a little more dedicated than you would like him to be. Just watch all that you say to him so that he doesn't see more into the relationship than there is. In due time he will calm down. He could act that way because he loves you a lot and hoping you will be with him a long time. If you aren't ready for the seriousness that he proposes then just say no when he brings it up he will get used to it.

Answer 4

By not too handsome does that mean he doesn't turn you on at all? If that's so than yeah it could be a big deal. You could want to be friends with him rather than intimate regardless of how nice he is. It could also just be hard to trust again after a bad relationship it's completely normal. Your feeling and thoughts are just part of going though the cycle of being single and trying to find love.

Answer 5

I think its is perfectly normal to wonder what it would be like with someone else. I think that may be your problem. The truth of the matter is that (sorry guys) good guys are hard to find.
If you feel smothered by this relationship you should discuss this with him. If he is as committed to you as he says he is he shouldn't mind taking a few steps back until you make the next move. Explain to him that you don't want to break up but you do feel that he is (for lack of a better word ) suffocating you.
I wish you the best and good luck.

Answer 6

It is highly likely that you are burned out on a "serious" relationship right now. Eight years is a long time. This guy may be great for you in a while, but right now you probably need somebody more temporary.

Break up with him, because a great guy will stick with you and tell you everything's OK if you tell him you need space. To be frank, that wouldn't be fair to him or the next girl he could be with because he could be making her so happy where, instead, he is causing you stress.

Answer 7

It sounds like a case of the "it's too good to be true". When things so great we often look for something negative in the relationship. Give the guy a chance. Only time will tell. Patience.

Answer 8

You already answered your own question by stating that he was not as good looking as you want. Some people that get deep in a relationship quickly is not good. Take it slow and see what happens. Maybe he will start looking better to you once you really know he is sincere. Tell him that you want to keep a little space and not to rush anything and see where this relationship is going. He should understand.

Answer 9

if he really is a great guy and he treats you good and you just occasionally have doubts I would say it just maybe old fears tiring to scare you out of a good relationship because of of a bad past relationship making you have cold feet ...so in less you you get so red flags from this guy I would just kept telling your self to give this relationship a try and maybe the looks would be a issue if he gets your heart and looks don't always last any way and after you fall in love with someone there looks don't matter cz you see them with your heart I know from having 3 relationships two bad ones and one that is a take my breath away endless love!!!!!

Answer 10

why cant u except that someone wants to make u happy, would u rather be in a crappy relationship? Would that be normal to u? If he is talking marriage too soon thats one thing, but if he just treats u well then that means u are used to being treated poorly, fo u want to let him get away, and he use his gentlemen nature on some other girl? Just see how it goes