When I was a child, I was sexually molested by some known people whom I still see occasionally. During my preteens, I didn't feel quite comfortable with my own father. Nothing really happened, but I was still aware of some amount of indecency in him. Also, I've witnessed a lot of infidelity happening between my parents, and each time it's my father who was cheating on my mother. As young as I was, I recorded all these in my mind rather subconsciously. I still remember the women, my mother's tears and all those times she would tell us these things for she also had nobody she could talk to about it. I have an older brother, but I don't think he was as affected as I was. Even recently, my Dad had something close to an affair with someone younger than even me! Now I'm 22 and pretty much an adult, but I still can't shake these things off my mind. My family is still together and we appear like we have forgotten everything. But the truth remains that I haven't. I have huge rows with my father
2006-08-15 07:38:49 · 17 answers · asked by blunt_yet_sharp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Honey, you can not control what the rest of your family does or how they deal with things. You are an adult now and have to do what is best for you. I think counseling could be a huge benefit for you. It could give you the coping skills and the outlet (just talking about everything and getting it off your chest) that you really need. I am sure that this has done a lot to you and your emotional growth as an adult. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Holding everything in just to keep peace in the family is only going to prove to be more and more troublesome for you. Best of luck to you. Please talk to someone that is trained to help.
2006-08-15 07:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by geni 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go into therapy and talk these feelings out. You never get over such a traumatic experience such as being molested. Maybe you should make an effort not to see whomever it was that molested you because that could be triggering the past.
2006-08-15 14:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apart from professional counselling, you need someone trustworthy who ouy can talk to about the molestation, as you don't seem to have done so yet. That will help you get over your hurts regarding it by bringing them out. The fights with your Dad aren't just about his behaviour, but about how it makes you feel seeing what you've been thru. That's the 1st step. Its a long road to travel, but don't give up. You CAN overcome it!!
2006-08-15 14:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by LoneWolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As stupid as this may sound, counseling might bethe best route for you. If nothing else it will help you see that not all men are going to be like that and give you a shot at a happy, normal relationship with a husband, when the time comes.
2006-08-15 14:45:14 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, well you need to talk this out and get this out of your way. Do you have a boyfriend? A boyfriend would be a very good example, if you have one, you can talk to him about that, tell him everything you just told us, and he will comfort you and be there for you and make you feel better. Becuz sometimes its better to talk with a boyfriend about family problems than with your friend. So, try to get over that, and move on with your life. IF you keep thinking about that, than that will also be a problem for you later in your life. So, be happy!
But if you cant talk to anybody you need to speak with a therapist, becuz that is seriouse. You have to move on with your life, you cant hang on something that happend a long time ago, you have your own life to deal with, you need to move on with your life.
2006-08-15 15:04:01 · answer #5 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad cheated on my mom a lot to. All that did for me was make me hate my dad and not trust men. Anyway if you can talk to your mom about it when you are alone with her than do that. If you can't speak to your mom about it than a friend or someone else you trust I think if you just talked about it than you would feel better already.
2006-08-15 14:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find an E.F.T. therapist. They work wonders and the process is pretty quick. Also look into Neur Linguistic programming.
Alex
2006-08-15 14:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by Osiris2067 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! i agree with alot of people here, u do need counselling(i mean that in the nicest way possible)
maybe you should talk over these events with your dad...it can really be helpful...instaed of just pretending it never happened! try talkin it out...its always helpful to let things put, also try talkin with your mum about it.
2006-08-15 14:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Zeeby M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like some deeply rooted pain pray about it go to a counselor talk to someone that will not repeat your business like a therapist but you really NEED to talk about these things I hope ever thing works out for you
GOD BLESS
2006-08-15 14:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry that happened to you, you first need to start to talk about what happened to you, professional help is best. Good luck!
2006-08-15 14:44:03 · answer #10 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋