I have a child out of wedlock, can I still have a catholic marriage?

Question

My boyfriend and I had a son in March, but we cannot get married until he is out of school due to financial issues. We have gone to confession, but I need to know if we can get married in a Catholic church still? I know *many* Catholics have premarrital sex, but can it be forgiven by the church if it is obviously known, by evidence of a child? Can anybody help me & give me some information on how I should go about it if we can, I'd appriciate it very much. Thank you in advance.


P.S. For the people who are just going to bash me, go ahead. I know what I did was wrong in my religion, but I am just asking for advice.

Answer 1

There's no impediment to marriage there. Marriage will act to resolve your sin problem, not make it worse.

You can get married in the church simply by making the usual arrangements with the priest, so don't worry.

Don't wait until the last minute, though. You should be planning six to eight months ahead.

Regarding the issue of sin: there's a lot of variables there, so you may want to spend a little time explaining your present living arrangements to the priest, the next time you confess. Then do what he says to make things right between you and God.

God bless you and yours, and best wishes for your wedding.

p.s. Isn't that Misterdeedub guy a real piece of work? If he was ever a Catholic, he would have understood that being sorry for sins, and then making amends by trying to do better in the future is, and always has been, the key to God's forgiveness.

He must have been one of those wierd southern evangelical anti-pope, anti-church Catholics.

Answer 2

Assuming that you were truly contrite, your sin was forgiven by God and sealed by Confession. Besides which, nobody gets married perfectly sinless! We are almost always in a state of sin, whether venial or mortal.

Now, I can't say whether that sin (fornication) was venial or mortal in your particular circumstances. But whichever one it was, it has already been forgiven (again, given that you were truly sorry for it). If you have Confessed the sin, you are back in full communion with the Church. That means that there is ABSOLUTELY NO IMPEDIMENT to your getting married in the Church.

Now, of course, you will be judged by people. People can be that way. But you know that you are right with God, because you have opened your life up so that He can bring good out of the evil that was your sin. Hold your head high, because you are still children of God.

Go for it! Get married in the Church - your life will be richer and holier for it. I'll pray for you! God bless.

P.S. Assuming your Confession was, in fact, for the sin of fornication, I hope you realize that this is sinful whether or not it results in a child. Therefore, in order to bring your life more fully into line with God's Plan for you, I would suggest that you live as "brother and sister" (i.e. no sex) until you are married. I know it will be hard, but I think you'll find that it's a sacrifice worth making for God and your future husband.

Answer 3

Catholicism is false religion. True Christians follow the example started by the the "Christ" Jesus. Jesus did not baptize babies and neither did John the Baptizer. Not to mention that Catholics worship the Virgin Mary who was just used by God to deliver Jesus to this earth. I'm sure you are already aware of this since you stated that *many* Catholics have premarital sex and the church tolerates this immorality without any disfellowshipping. I have been Catholic and let me tell you, all those statues of the Virgin Mary all over the place is just sheer idol worship which is not approved of by God who tells us to worship him with spirit (because he is a spirit) and truth.

So since you are not actually engaged in true religion (The Popes of times past have even blessed wars and get involved in politics even to this day.) why would it matter that you have a catholic marriage? Just get married because its the right thing to do. Go down to the courthouse and avoid the hypocrisy of the Roman Catholic child molesting churches of Babylon the Great.

For those of you who are just spouting off at the mouth without Bible based answers.

1) Yes it is a sin to have a child out of wedlock.
2) Can you attain to repentance? Yes if you are TRULY sorry.

Answer 4

If you cannot, maybe you should rethink whether or not you should remain Catholic? A friend of mine left the Catholic church because they would not christen his baby born out of wedlock, another guy I know left because he was divorced and he couldn't get remarried there.

It is not another human being's place to judge you, not even one ordained by God. If Jesus wasn't too good to pray with prostitutes and thieves, what makes the priest think he is? If God has forgiven you, why do you care if they do?

Answer 5

Talk to your priest about the marriage. Remember the whole forgiveness thing? It works. Having a child out of wedlock is not a mortal sin and it is not a reason to deny the sacrament of marriage.

Just don't try to skip the whole pre-cana thing. Go through it and learn and hopefully you'll have a long and healthy marriage.

Answer 6

My parents had their wedding in a catholic church even though I was already a year old. Have you thought about calling one of the catholic churches as just asking?

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

don't worry about what people say, i have had 3 children and am still not married by the church, but i want to do the same, and don't know if it is possible. Good luck!

Answer 8

Why are you so much concerned about your religion? And marriage? Your son can have a bright future with you and your boyfriend's hard work. Marriage doesn't always turns good. So, slow down and spend some quality time with your son.

Answer 9

Too Much Information...Speak With Your Pastor.

Answer 10

Yes, you can marry in the Catholic church....but for the sake of common decency, you should keep it low-key.

Talk to your priest.