Should I Call Child Protective Services on my Sister?????

Question

My sis is getting a divorce. She and her daughter are currently staying with me and im sorry to say that she is a neglectful mother. SHe is staying in my basement and she has made it EXTREMELY dirty. she never cleans, she is never home, she barely feeds or bathes her 4 yr. old, she doesnt spend time with her and the little girl is running around spelling like pee and poop because she isnt potty trained yet and my sis wont change her diaper. She gets $800 a month for child support but she spends that money on clothes and getting her nails done etc. she also has a full time, good paying job but I have to buy food, clothes and other necessities for my niece because she wont. Should i call her ex husband and tell him whats going on or would i be crossing the line? I love my sis to death but im so worried about my niece.

She isnt this way just becasue she's going through a tough time with her divorce. she's always been like this.

Answer 1

That's a tough decision to make. Maybe try talking to the husband first. If he doesn't want to make the call, then you should, since you have a first-hand account of what's going on because she lives with you. Someone has to speak up for the well-being of the child...if not her dad, then her loving aunt (you).

Answer 2

Hell ya I would do something, there is absolutely no reason any child should go through that. I know it's hard because she is your sis but lets face it the child is more important. If her ex is like her then I wouldn't call him I would call CPS but if he isn't like her I would definatly call him and let him know what she is doing w/ her child support for his daughter. A woman who is more concerned about doing her nails and buying clothes then taking care of her child has some serious problems and definatly only cares about herself. The fact that you said she barely feeds her 4 year old is just WRONG!! how could a person be that selfish?? Espically when you say she has a good paying job and gets $800 a month in child support what is she doing living w/you. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise so you could see how she treats her daughter and do something about it. I am a mother of a 4 year old and have another one on the way and I ALWAYS ALWAYS put my daughter first!! So do what is right but dont continue to let her get away w/ acting like this. Do something for your little niece though. You wont be a bad person for it. She might be mad at you but lets face it what she is doing is wrong. Maybe calling CPS or her ex will wake her up. Good luck, sorry I just get so wrapped up in stuff like this being a mom and all.

Answer 3

i think you should TALK to her about her Action's. LET her know you may report her if she dose not clean up her act. 800.00 in child support she should not be in your basement her and her child should have there own place. At 4 NO REASON ON EARTH that kid should be in a DIAPER unless shes disabled!. You should get the kid on a toilet and in the tub you are also neglecting her letting her run around like that. VERY SAD I had a roommate who would not bath her baby left dirty diapers in the crib with the kid I LIVED THERE I HATED SEEING THAT SO I bathed her kid i cleaned the bed. I told the mother she was SORRY i would report her I did not sit around and watch the abuse I did what i could to correct it. At that time i also had no own toddler to care 4 anyone who watches a child be neglected and dose not help out is a GUILTY as the person doing the neglect. If you saw a child beat on would you just let it go? ALSO SO YOU KNOW if someone else calls children's protective services ALL ADULTS IN THE HOME CAME BE CHARGED WITH NEGLECT AND ENDANGERMENT. My friend lived with her brother is a filthy HOME a neighbor callED she and her brother WENT TO JAIL!

Answer 4

well my advice to you would be to mabye sit down and talk to you sister, w/ her being your sister, and as her childs Aunt, she should be able to listen to what you have to say, just mabye start off by saying that ".. you know she is going through a rough time in her life right now... but you are concerened for ______" and then go from there. If that still doesn't work, then I would call the ex husband and tell him that you are concerned. I am sure that your sister loves her child, but she probley just doesn't know the difference between right and wrong... and what she needs to do to provide for her child. The child might be better off with the exhusband. And if you don't think that is true, then call child services... more than likely they will take away the child (if they do) and give the child to the father, and give him custody... , and if they can prove that he is a poor provider, then I believe there are other options for the child (ie, grandma, other aunts and uncles, ect.)
I know you love your sister, but she is a grown adult, she should know to do with a 4 year old... this isn't like its a newborn... whereas your poor neice can't say anything...
Speak up for your neice, you just need to look out for her...
Good luck with everything! I hope everything works out.

Answer 5

Call her daughters father. He needs to be made aware of the abuseful situation his daughter is being put in. If he doesnt want her (the daughter) maybe you could call childrens protective services and see about you getting temporary care or custody of her. Ask your sister if she would agree to let you take your niece temporarily because that poor little girl needs to be learning that someone loves her. Also work with her on potty training, i know shes not your daughter, but do you want this poor child being made fun of and not being allowed to go to school due to being in diapers still? I dont think you would be crossing the line to make a phone call, you would be doing the child more good than harm to call.

Answer 6

I would talk to your sister about it first. Give her an altimatum. Give her 30 days to get her shyt in order, clean up, or tell her you will have to call child custody. There is NO reason why this little 4 year old girl should be in that type of situation. She is a precious angel of God that deserves a mother that will teach her, train her, and take care of her like a mother should do. Think of the child's best interest. And yes, you should call her ex-husband and let him know what's going on. This is not healthy for her!

Answer 7

Wow this is a very good question.

Have you sat down and talked with her about this problem?

She sounds like she was not ready to be a mommy. And I see why she is getting divorced. You should try to explan to her that the Chid support is not for her spending its so she can get clothes, food, diapers and so on for the little girl, not to make herself look good.

I would not call Child Protective Ser. yet. They are staying with you right now and I would just kinda start saying litlle things here and there. Also you could give the wee one a bath every now and then but also you need to say I am not her mother and this is your job.

Your mom also needs to stand in and say this in my house and you will keep it clean. Get on her butt and make her do stuff. This will be very hard but it needs to be done. If nothing happens or it just gets worse I would say something to her about "someone" calling the CPS. Don't say you or mom and dad. That will just piss her off. Say how you like it if "someone" took your child away and you never got to see her again. You need to be bring stuff like that up. Tell her that she is showing her little girl that its ok to smell and potty in her pants.

You said that this child is 4 yrs old. She should have been potty trained at 1 1/2 to 2 years old.

You should talk to your parents and see how them feel on the whole idea before you go and call CPS. If you feel you need to call the EX and bring him into then do. Its his girl too. He needs to know what is going on in her life. But you also need to keep in mind that you are going to have one pissed off sis when you do.

I wish that I could help you more.

Good Luck

Answer 8

Call protective services. If this has been a ongoing problem while she was still with her ex, he may not be able to take care of the child also, but that is something that protective service will decide. make sure you are specific in your concerns. they may need to find someelse to have placement of the child untill things work out. Do what is best for the Child. no one should have to live in someone else filth, exspecislly a young child who cant change her on situation without an adult's help.

Answer 9

Explain how you expect your niece to be treated -- that you expect the girl to be potty trained, fed, bathed regularly, changed when necessary. Also explain that you expect your home to be well maintained -- she is a guest in your home. She is also a human being, and can't continue to live (and let her daughter live) in sub-standard conditions. It's not unreasonable to expect a certain standard of behaviour from guests, especially when it's for their own good. Above all, express clearly your concerns for her and her daughter, and explain what changes you think would enhance their lives. Give her a chance to understand completely how you feel and to make changes. If she really wants to, she will -- and if she doesn't, then she has to accept that her daughter's best interests have to be looked after...whether with her dad or with you. Refuse to accept that things don't have to change, but it's not time for tough love until your sister is fully aware of the choice she is making as determined by her behaviour.

Answer 10

The bottom line is the needs of the child. If you feel that she is being neglected, you need to step in. First, try talking honestly with your sister. Tell her your concerns and list specific things you see that you are worried about. Tell her honestly how you see your neice being treated and let her know that if things don't change, you will have to call CPS to get her some help. CPS has services that can help her learn how to take care of her child. The only person that you need to be worried about is that child, so do what you have to do to protect her.

Answer 11

I would have a heart to heart with my sister if she doesn't see or want to change her ways then talk to the child's father if he is any better. As a last resort I would contact child protective services. It sounds like you play a big part of you niece's life if her dad isn't capable of taking the child either then maybe you would want to consider kicking your sister out and taking care of the child on your own. The most important think is making sure the child is in a safe and attentive place.