We moved in w/ my hubby's uncle 2 yrs ago along w/ our 6 yr. old son "Robert"(who is to a previous relationship of mine) "Robert's" real father has nothing to do with him & my hubby has adopted him & taken all rights, like he was his own from the beinging. We have a 21 month old daughter together. Our uncle is all about her. He seems like he will yell @ "Robert" if he even touches our daugther a bit to rough. When we are planning on going somewhere & "uncle" is not, our son will say will you miss us & the uncle replies only "Lisa" (our daughter). Last night our son told the unlce to put down the foot part of the recliner & when the uncle did he he hit our daughter w/ the that part of the chair, in the head. (an accident) The unlce went nuts & yelled "You rotten little b@strad to our son, b/c he thought "Robert" wanted him to hit his sister in the head. "Robert" says he didn't know she was there & asked him to put it down the chair so he could see the tv better. What should I do?
2006-08-15 06:55:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
we can't move out b/c we all just bought a 5 bdrm home together, all of our names our on the home loan. Why is he treating our son like this. He always tells him that he should have his little a$$ beat, but he is never doing anything harmful. He loves his little sister and always looks out for her. I am so unsure what to do. When he yelled at my son last night I yelled back at the unlce and told him to never call my son anything liek that again. The unlce is not really a bad guy he just seems to not like our son and deals with him b/.c he has too. I don't want my son hearing these negative things, we would never talk to him like that.
2006-08-15 06:58:04 · update #1
our son use to be our unlce life until we had our little girl. Do you think it might be a blood thing? He has always treated our son good up until recently about 4 months now this as been going on with the litle comments and stuff.
2006-08-15 07:00:35 · update #2
Ok, we have talked to our unlce and he has agreed to go and get hellp for this. he said he does not know why he acts like towards our son and that he felt asshamed of himself, last night after saying that to our son and that he never really meant that he would only miss our daughter when we would go away, that he say only carrying on with our son sarcasticlly. We told him that you don't joke with a 6yr old that way and that we will not talarate him being disrepectful towards our son and that if it happens again we will move out and pay our part of the home loan and get anothe rplace to live. We have never once let this happen to our son, so I don;t want people to think that. I love my son to death he is my world and our children are equally loved by me and their father. I began crying and went nuts on our unlce when he said those hurtful things to our son. My feelings were hurt as well as my sons, I flet bad wondering to myself what my child is thinking of himself b/c of what his
2006-08-15 14:54:33 · update #3
is saying to him. I don't want my son to feel like he is a bad person ( my son I am talking about) b/c he is not. To end this I just wanted to let everyoneknow that answered my question that our unlce ahs decide to go get help and to see if he can figure out what his problem is. He says he loves our son and doesn't know why he would ever say something like that to a 6 yr old. But just so everyone knows.. If it happens AGAIN EVER! we are out of the house I don;t care if I get bad credit over the whole deal or not, my son will not live like that. I love him with all my heart and so much more, I refuse to sit around and let someone harm my child in front of me or behind my back!
2006-08-15 14:58:00 · update #4
The uncle is not a good person. He is treating your son so terrible ! You should have known that these living arrangements never work out. Talk to your uncle about this , and if things do not get better , you need to move out of there. It doesn't matter if you just bought the house or not . Your son's needs are more important. He will grow up with low self esteem and be a trouble maker.
2006-08-15 07:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I know is that you need to protect your son. He is being verbally and emotionally abused by your husband's uncle. I don't know why you said he's not really a bad guy. What nice person would tell a 6-year old boy he's only going to miss the baby. Calling him a bastard is just beyond okay. If your husband hasn't said anything to his uncle, then he's a coward and obviously doesn't care about your son as much as you thought. I have a six year old daughter from a previous relationship, that my husband has taken on as his own as well. We have a one-year-old now who is no more important than my daughter. I'm not sure why you all bought a house together, but I hope your son means more to you than the house. Ask your husband to confront his uncle about the mean behavior and if he won't, or the uncle doesn't stop, I'd get an apartment and hope your husband joins you until you can figure where else to live. This is serious and you need to take action.
2006-08-15 14:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by gurugirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would put down clear rules to the uncle about how you expect your children to be treated. If he can't treat your son the right way you don't need to be living with him, no matter what the loan papers say. If you have to, find a way to re-work the loan or come up with a legal agreement about who lives in the house and who pays the loan. Your uncle is doing long term damage to your son, it's emotional abuse and it sounds as if it could get physical. Your son deserves better than this. In the future, try not to get a loan with anyone else, you and your husband are the only ones who should be on a loan that concerns you. I know it's hard if you don't have good credit, but I hope you can find a way to get out of this situtation.
2006-08-15 14:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First have a talk with your hubby. Then the 2 of you need to have a little chat with uncle and tell him to pull his head from his nether region and grow up. Lay down the law. Make sure he knows this will not be tolerated and if he has any problems with either of your (you and your husband's) children, best to find a place to stow them.
If he continues to be verbally abusive, there are legal steps that can be taken to forcefully remove him from the home, so be sure to let him know that if he resists your request.
2006-08-15 14:04:48 · answer #4 · answered by auld mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, NO, NO you NEED TO MOVE OUT!!! for your son's sake. The "uncle" is a a$$hole to say the least. this is not a healthy situation for your family. be on your own. there is no need to own your own home when you put your family at stake. Either buy a smaller home, or rent a apartment. The damage done to Robert now can stay with him for a lifetime. Live for your children. Just get away from this JERK! for Robert's sake.
2006-08-16 04:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by outdoor man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with him and talk....tell him that it is not fair that he not treat both children the same way, and that it could affect your son later in life...he doesnt have to accept him as his own family member through blood but it is his family through marriage and he needs to not show those feelings towards a child.....He doesnt know fully why he is being treated this way and it is not fair for him to take out his feelings on a child......If he cannot be fair then you need to put your foot down and tell him not to conversate with either of your children until he can choose to be an adult about things......My grandparents would have nothing to do with me and my four siblings for 22 years because they never approved of my mother....given things happened between my mother and father and my grandparents had their personal view on things but when they shared it my parents agreed we would be better off without them...now still to this day I will never be as good as my cousins are, and I will never feel accepted into the family....My grandfather just died a month or so ago and the funeral was terrible....we sat on opposite sides of the parlor and it was very uncomfortable.......it is a very terrible for a child to carry through their whole life and it is your responsibility to put a stop to it now while he may not remember all of it....
2006-08-15 14:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you and your husband buy a house with the uncle? Who does that? I feel soooooo bad for your little boy. I can't believe how spineless you and your husband are to not defend your son. Unbelievable.
2006-08-15 16:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jp83 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay first off don't leave your son alone with him. Second it really isn't fair to your son that you are letting him go through this. I understand that you just bought a house with him and stuff, but you need to not let him say that kind of stuff to him, tell him if he cant respect your son then you aren't going to let him hang out with your daughter. You are his mother and you need to protect him, it someone said that to my son I would probably Smack them.
2006-08-15 16:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you will buyout his part or you will all have to go to court and have it settled that way. Once you've taken over his portions of the house costs, he should be able to afford to move out. No one should talk to any child that way.
2006-08-15 14:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by t79a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling right away to nip that in the butt.
2006-08-15 14:02:41 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋