Tell me your best joke and win 10 points!?

Question

Here is my favorite joke:

A little boy goes to his father and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class; and your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that, and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents room, and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

cont...
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, Son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep sh*t."

Answer 1

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Here is the scene: The children were lined up in the cafeteria
of a church elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and put it on the apple tray..."Take only one, GOD is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. GOD is watching the apples."

Answer 3

There is this old couple that have problems with remembering, they got a tip from a doctor to write everything down. So they were sitting down together when the older guy stood up. "I'm going to go get something to eat, do you want something?" "Yes," The old woman said. "I'd like some ice cream, you better write that down or you'll forget." "No I won't." The old man retorted. "good, cause I want it to be chocolate, now you better write that down." "No." The old man angerly cried. "Good, cause I want it to have strawberries on it." The old lady told him. "Better-" But the old man cut her off. "No! I will not write it down!" And he left the room. He came back 30 minutes later with french toast and eggs. She looked at him, then said. "You forgot the hashbrowns."

Answer 4

A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

Answer 5

this boy and girl where out at a make out place and thay wanted to have sex but the girl told the boy she is on her paired the boy said OK can i finger u she said OK a cop came up to the car window and said what are u two doing in there the boy looks over and says eating pizza and licks his fingers

Answer 6

a blonde walks into a store and says can i buy this TV? and the clerk says no i dont sell things to dumb blondes.

the next day she walks in the store w/ a brown wig on and asks if she can buy that TV again and the clerk says no i dont sell things to dunb blondes.

the next day she walks in w/ green hair and askes can i buys this TV?and the clerk says no i dont sell things to dumb blondes and she says how'd u kno i was a blonde and the clerk say b/c that a microwave not a TV....funny huh? but kinda old.

Answer 7

1st Man: Oh hello, how are you, let me buy you a drink!
2nd Man: Why thank you." he replies. "Where are you from?
1st Man: Oh, I'm from Ireland," he replies.
2nd Man: You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.
1st Man: Of course!

And they both pour back their drinks....


2nd Man: So, where in Ireland are you from?
1st Man: Dublin," comes the reply.
2nd Man: I can't believe it says the first man. I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!
1st Man: Aye! why not!" And both men continue drinking.
2nd Man: So, like... hmmmm... What school did you go to?
1st Man: St. Mary's, I graduated in '62.
2nd Man: You don't say! This is bloody unbelievable, I went to St. Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!
1st Man: Noooo way???

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Oh nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Mally twins are drunk again."

Answer 8

a boy is in the living room while the dad is in the kitchen washing some dishes, the boy asks his dad,"daddy what is sex?" and the dad says,"well son,sex is...."
*30 minutes later*
"and thats what sex is."
then the boy ask his dad," is all that gonna fit in this box?"

Answer 9

On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence.
Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He knew what it was. "Oh, my!" he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!" He cycled down the road as fast as he could and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come quick!" said the boy. "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat! Can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is!"
After several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth! Let's see if we can see the Devil himself."
Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, yet they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old guy made it back to town 5 minutes before the boy.

Answer 10

Here's my favorite...

A very unattractive, nasty, mean-acting woman walks into Walmart with her two kids.

The Walmart Greeter, asks, "Are they twins?"

The ugly woman snarls, "Hell no, the oldest one, he's 9, and the
younger one, she's 7. "Why... Do you think they really look alike?"

"Hell no", replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got
laid twice"

Answer 11

raghu{asks his friend}do you bath every day?
ramu {answers}nope i bath every night
another one
i will tell you a joke
your bum broke
will tell you a story
your bum is in the katori
i will ask you a riddle
your bum is in the middle
your one was fantastic i wish i could get my joke as the best i never got my answer a sthe best only 5 answers of mine is best