How can you be a good uncle to a Kid that lives in another state, when you are not a traveler?

Question

I'm a 26 year old male. my sister has a baby 1 year old. they live in another state. I don't travel, i dont' like traveling because of health prblems and just don't like it ...So the baby will grow and never have an uncle like a friend...:( Sad but... what can i do to be in his life more? i really dn't like traveling. in fact, i never want to travel again, ever. it's just something i hate .

Answer 1

Wright little letters color a picture or two send up dated picture of yourself send a $1 every now and then. Call and talk on the phone.
I'm glad you want to try!!
I have 2 brothers and neither wants to even try to be a part of my kids life. It's rather hard to explain to a 6 & 4 yr old why they have never even got to talk to their uncles, aunts, cousins on the phone only my oldest has ever met them and she was only a year old. We don't even have pictures of my neices and nephews.

Answer 2

Live and learn. You want to get close to the kid, put up with traveling, or move closer. It seems to me that being a friend to a kid is an important need and one that would probably be more rewarding to you than to the kid.
So, give yourself credit for identifying a strong need to know this kid and help care for the child. There are some alternatives however. First, every kid needs an Uncle. If not a real blood Uncle than any decent man would do the job.
There is some child care or boarding house or something like that in the area where you live. Go and visit first. See how it affects you. But, remember that what may seem less than attractive at first look can change over time as you get accustomed to the setting. Foster care is tough, but it is doable.
Check with your local County for child agencies. Non-profits do great work but always need help.
Some suggestions, good luck.

Answer 3

You can send pictures of you and your home/family/etc., send emails, write letters, send videos of yourself speaking towards the camera like you're talking to the baby. There are ways to stay close to someone even though you are separated by the miles. Just keep in contact on a regular basis and not just on holidays and birthdays, etc. As the child grows older, you will be a familiar face and voice. Just be consistantly in contact. Maybe you could get a special long distance phone plan when the child gets to be about 5 years of age. Perhaps you could save a couple of dollars each month and when the child is older he/she could come and visit YOU on summer vacations. Good luck!

Answer 4

If you had mentioned hating travelling only 4 and not 5 times, I would NOT have brought it up, but you made it a question about your fear, inability (sorry if I truly got it wrong) or apprehension about travelling. I just would encourage you to overcome any limitations that keep you from truly enjoying life. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, don't you know it?!

Are you sure there is no way, not even at Christmas that you'd go see your little sweety? Can you help them come see you. It is most certainly possible for you to be a great uncle and a great presence in the kids life. My husband has a niece (3 yrs old now) in Texas who has only spent a little time with him, but she loves him and asks her Grandma to call her uncle. She gets crazy excited over him!

So, send photos of yourself through email, send toys, books and cards, always with lots of pictures and call on the phone a lot. Your sister's baby (boy or girl?) will know you and love you!

I must also say that the one child who lives in Cali in my husband's family whose parents never ever bring him to visit... he does NOT know us or any of his family out of Cali. Connections have to be made. And don't worry, they can be done well with the wonderful world of technology that we have nowadays.

Answer 5

Well, obviously you have access to the internet.
I would say for when the child gets older, purchase a webcam (you and his mother, if you dont already have one) and have web conversations with him. Possibly call him, email him, send him this and that, ask him to draw you pictures, send recent photos..there are so many things with today's technology that we can do.

A dear friend of mine has two grandchildren that are 7 and 4... but he just moved to India. He is planning on keeping in touch with the ways i just shared with you. Its a bit of a mystery for the child, having this way cool uncle that writes him letters, talks to him online etc. but hardly sees..but still cares!!! Also try and get the mom to travel to you as much as you can :-)

Answer 6

I was a long-distance parent for four years when my son was very little. I found a good book called "Long-Distance Parenting: A Guide for Divorced Parents" by Miriam Galper Cohen to be helpful. Chapter 3 in this book gives wonderful tips and you might be able to apply them to your situation.

Some of the ideas include taping recording yourself telling or reading a bedtime story that the little one can listen to. The nice thing is children like to hear the same story often over and over again so you don't have to do a hundred different stories. Send the book with the recording and the child can "read" along with the book.

You can do video recordings of yourself playing an instrument, singing a song, playing peek-a-boo.

Children are very visual and enjoy looking at pictures. Take lots of pictures of you, your home, pets, etc....You can write a story using pictures taken or drawn as well... An example might be " This is me (picture of yourself). I live in a house (picture of house). I love to play with my cat and dog (picture of cat and dog). Here is my backyard. I like to sit under this tree(picture of tree). I love you (picture of child) ........etc......you get the idea! Keep it simple and as the child grows older he will be proud to be able to "read" it by himself. He can learn about all about his uncle as well.

Of course phone calls are great and you can sing songs from poplar children show, talk about animals making the different sound animals make....just letting him hear the sound of your voice would be a treat be the little one!

Presents might be sending a puzzle made from one of your pictures, you can get books now that are personalized about the young one.....things like that.

The book also includes ideas you can do as the child grows and gives other resources that you might find helpful. Good luck and I think your nephew is very lucky to have such a concerned and caring Uncle.

Answer 7

You might try keeping a scrapbook for this child, complete with your thoughts as he grows. Send cards and letters which of course, Mommy will read and save for him until he's older and can do it himself. Once he's old enough to put on the phone, call regularly, and keep the letters going.

Remember birthdays & special occassions & commemorate them, complete with clippings in the scrapbook. Also use the technology available to you, such as web-conferencing to connect as often as possible once the baby is old enough & before then just to keep in touch with your sister who can also offer suggestions as to what would be best, and how would be best, to remain in your nephew's life.

Maybe once in awhile, if your doctor agrees, you'll be able to visit in person. If not, then perhaps you can arrange for sis and child to visit you. Hope this helps!

Answer 8

You can send the child email, cards in the regular mail and call often. Kids looove getting "snail mail." In the mail, you can send pictures of you and things in your life (your house, pets, etc.)
You can also send gifts through the mail.
Maybe your sister will take her family to come see you so you don't have to travel, or always let her kid know that he has a place to stay anytime he's in your area.

Answer 9

Kids LOVE mail. It may have to wait until he's about 4 but write letters, send pictures mail things that he's interested in. My daughters Aunt saves every sticker she gets, AAA, return address, this side up, save the whales, etc. because my daughter loves stickers. It may not be the same as having an uncle around to fish with but it keeps you in his life.

Answer 10

You don't have to travel to be a good uncle or friend to someone.

You can keep in touch with your sister via email and letters. As the baby gets older you can include some things in those emails or letters for the baby, then as he/she learns to read you can send him/her letters all of his/her own.

It'll be really good in heping the baby learn to read or write, and will give him/her someone to talk to that they have learned to trust and respect through the letters/emails you have sent.