My husband is booked for a vasectomy on Friday, I am upset cuz I think I might want more kids. Is it unreasonable for me to want him to post-pone this procedure?
2006-08-15 06:07:25 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i am 32 he is 37, we have 3 kids, he never agreed on how many kids b 4 we got married cuz we had no idea how many we could handle.
i am a stay at home mom and love every minute and would like one more kid.
he says "no more"
how can anyone win this fight?
(he makes a good salary and he lack for nothing in our life).
2006-08-18 14:47:39 · update #1
As far as I know it's reversible.
If you have that much of a problem with it, though, you two should really sit down and talk about it. Maybe give it a time-frame. If you should decide in 1-2 years that you don't want another baby, then he should do it. It is important to consider his feelings as well.
2006-08-15 06:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Brea1243 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a big decision, my husband and I always stick to the rule that in a big decision, no always wins. Now I don't mean that as no to the vasectomy, no to more kids. I begged my husband not to have a vasectomy, sobbed after I brought him home from the procedure, and cried for a solid two weeks after, I deperately wanted more kids, so my heart is 150% with you. However, you can't, or shouldn't, force someone to father kids he doesn't want. In all honesty, I still bring up adoption a couple of times a year as a serious option, I want more kids so bad. I think the freezing of sperm is a good idea, but ultimately, if a man is willing to have his genitals cut open, he probably is pretty sure he doesn't want more kids.
I am sorry it is like this for you, my whole heart is with you, but a man is a man, and having kids is too big of a thing to do in contention.
2006-08-15 13:19:44 · answer #2 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, u are being very reasonable since this affects u also. once u get a vasectomy, it's hard and expensive to reverse; it's not like taking pills where u can just stop anytime u want to concieve. ask him w/o getting angry to please take a little while longer to think about such a huge life-changing decision. patiently and gently explain to him why u are against it. if he's still against it, then pretty much it's his body so ultimately, it's up to him. u might want to do what someone above said and freeze some of his sperm for when u do want children
2006-08-15 13:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by lady sixx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, both partners have to agree to the vasectomy. Is there any reason why he wants to go ahead with it when you think you might want more kids?
If he won't postpone, ask him to donate some samples to the sperm bank so you can have a backup in case you do decide you want more kids. It'll cost you a few dollars, but at least you will have them.
2006-08-15 13:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he went for the inital vas appt, you were there, right? You should have made it clear that you oppose to the vas and would like him to wait. My situation is opposite then yours. My husband wants one more and I"m done(3 kidz) But I respect that and we'll see what happens. Does your husband know you want more kids? If so he should definately post-pone!!
2006-08-15 13:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by knotykidz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having more kids has to be a decision that both of you make together. If he is willing to do it without you, then you have an ultimatum (depending on how bad you want more kids) on your hands. If he snips it, you may have to trade him in for a fully functional model!
2006-08-15 13:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really didn't give enough information - how old are you both? How long have you been married? How many children do you already have? Are there other medical issues involved?
That being said, however, it should be a mutual decision, as it affects you both.
2006-08-15 13:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its only unreasonable if it was your idea in the first place. its just going to aggravate him if you suggested he get one, now you want him not to. see what i mean? now if it was his idea, i suggest you bring your position to him ASAP so he doesn't get it done. of course, it could be reversed but is only about 70% effective, and is really quite painful! i hope you get this settled before he gets it done because it will save you both a lot of strife. good luck!
2006-08-15 13:13:25 · answer #8 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on Adrian! You KNOW peter Brady is too damn old to have kids with you! Get off it already and move on. You can always adopt!
2006-08-15 13:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does he want a vasectomy???
If he doesn't want anymore children and you think that you might then you both really need to talk.
2006-08-15 13:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by ksgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋