I've been going out with a new and very lovely (younger) man for 7 months now. I used to be married and went through a very traumatic separation 2 years ago, but when I was first with my husband I knew right away that we should spend our lives together; everything (in the beginning) was easier when we were together.
Now with the new man, I still enjoy going home to my own flat some nights and I really don't feel that I want to move in together or take things to the next level. He has started hinting that he might be interested in doing that at some stage..... Do I stay in the relationship because its fun even if at this point I don't know if I want to be in it for the long run, or do I break it off before it gets too serious?
2006-08-15 05:55:14 · 13 answers · asked by SmartBlonde 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
After the traumatic break up of your marriage I think you are 100% right to just go with the flow. Keep your element of independence as it is a bit like a pressure release valve.
At home on your own you don´t feel the need to dress to please.
If you want to eat popcorn in your pyjamas and watch rubbish on TV or wear a face-pack you don´t have to worry who will see you.
When you´re ready for a long-term gig again you´ll know and won´t need to ask on answers.
Live for what gives you peace now.
It´s your life to live live it your way !!!!!!!!
2006-08-15 06:05:39 · answer #1 · answered by Peter R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have simply learned from life expierence. If you are enjoying the relationship then why break it off? If he wants to take it to the next level be honest and tell him you are not ready for that right now. It really depends on if you have any feelings for this guy or not. You don't want to lead him on. Yet you shouldn't run from a good thing just because you are afraid of what future intentions he may have. You can cross that bridge when you come to it.
2006-08-15 13:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by geni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ask yourself this..How would you feel if he was to walk out of your life right now ? devasted? Would you regret it? Miss him terribly? Are you holding back because of your past experience? You descibe him as 'younger'..why? is this an issue with you that may be factor? I dont think that its unreasonable to not want to live with someone after only 7 months, nor is it unreasonable for someone to want to consider the future as your new man has. You have to decide wether you foresee a future with this man, if not, then the right thing to do would be to end this relationship, for his sake. However, you need to be certain that your decision is based on the need to continue a 'single' life and not determned by bad past experiences.
2006-08-15 13:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by aphrodite 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take things one day at a time. Who knows what might happen in the future. Just don't rush into anything. Talk to this man and let him know how you're feeling. Communication is very important in a relationship.
2006-08-15 13:01:02 · answer #4 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way would be to speak about it, but sometimes it seams to us as impossible thing to do...even though it is the easiest and the best approach...then you would also know how he really stands. If you really feel fun then why would you run away, it is not easy to find somebody to have a nice time with...and future will decide for itself...don´t worry ahead, but try to be more open to him so that he also knows where he stands...that is fair
2006-08-15 13:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by Mila98 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just stay as you are for now if ya having fun then still see him but be your own person and have your own space at the same time if he pesters you to start moving in together just explain to him that your not ready! if you stay as you are and as time moves on you will know what it is you really want but i guess after a bad relationship before you want to be your own person for a while
good luck in whatever u choose
2006-08-15 13:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by lillypops 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop worrying about what might or might not happen. You don't know how you will feel 6 months down the line. You need to just let relationships flow along there natural course and see where it leads you
2006-08-15 13:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by jools 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him exactly what you are feeling right NOW. Tell him you're not ready for moving in just yet. Allow him to decide if you're what he wants. But make sure you're not being presumptious about his hints, you could look like an *** if he's really not hinting what you think he is. Good Luck.
2006-08-15 13:02:25 · answer #8 · answered by Try You 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sister, a recent prove than by far the most happy relationships are those who dont live together. they get on better and the sex life is better, guess they try harder. and you must do your own thing, and expain to him. otherwise you wont be happy.
2006-08-15 13:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by bannjaxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just take it one day at a time & see how you feel. or maybe if you had some time out you may realise how much you love him & can't bare to be apart so you may end up asking him to move in!
2006-08-15 13:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by tjstarbe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋