Why do we have Columbus day?

Question

Noah had to come to America for a few hundred years to get all the animals, and insects. Technically, he had to go to every place that had animals. Then he had to put then in his ship that was too big to build or float while the all loving god killed most everyone. Then the water had to magically go away, and he had to put the animals back in America, where they magically inbred to the point that kills animals, but they did not. So why do we allow the lying science scum to teach that Columbus found America?

AMDG
I have seen the answer you gave many times. Guess you are not original. There there poor thing.

Answer 1

I don't believe Columbus should be here because the Native Americans were here first. Noah is something religious thats why if someone said '"Zues put all animals here," you wouldn't like that right thats why its something religious this is not a Christian country its a free one.

Answer 2

Hi, I'm half Shawnee tribe and half white Christian. Talk about your walking contradictions. It's an interesting life.

I can't figure out the Noah deal at all. Everybody was evil and bad and nasty-kinky and sinful so God decided to drown them, but first He has a guy get two of everything on Earth on one boat. Even if it was the Queen Mary, it's hard to imagine you could do that. And to think you could have Elephants and Donkeys trapped on the same boat for months and months without beating each other to death the way they do here is ludicrous.

Then, when they got to dry land, God allowed Noah to get drunk and impregnate his own daughters, according to the Bible. Yep, it's a good thing we left all that sin back in the places where everybody drowned. No bad lessons learned here in sweet home Alabama.

A thousand years ago, an outcast viking guy looking for treasure to plunder and a new homeland accidentally winds up in Nova Scotia, then Maine, but nobody really gives a sh!t. Eric the Red is dissed and embarrassed. That's why he's so red.

So then this Italian guy, Amerigo Vespucci, gets drunk on vino and he gets lost and "discovers" this continent already inhabited by millions of reddish-brown people. So they name the continent after him. And no, it's not "Vespucci-Land."

A hundred-some years later, a Spanish guy does the same, but at least he brings some door prizes and some lovely parting gifts to the natives, so we give him a national holiday and name it after him. He thought he was in India. Come on, dude, did you smell any incense or get turned on to the Kama Sutra? Get a clue. Still, that's why we have "Columbus Day." It's a memorial to a day we all got drunk and lost and wound up half a world away.

So, if I get drunk at a Cleveland Browns game and wind up in Detroit on the way home to near-Dayton, can I plant a flag at the BP Station and say, "I claim-a-dis-a-land for the Shawnee Nation"?

Hell, no, I'll wind up in the Basket Academy faster than George Bush can say "Nuke-you-lar fishin'."

So the only reason I can think of why we have Columbus Day is it's pretty damned boring between Labor Day and Halloween, two more holidays I seriously wonder about.

Labor Day commemorates that working people have rights now and we're all so much better off than we were back in the days of kings and wealthy industrialists who didn't pay them squat and who made them work long hours in bad working conditions for few or no benefits and no paid overtime. We're celebrating that those days are gone forever now.

Right.

Halloween. We dress up like Superman and Barbi and Spiderman and Shrek and Paris Hilton so we can scare evil spirits away and eat candy until we puke.

We wake up still puking, out of candy, with terrible sugar-rush migraines, and we still have Bush and Cheney. Makes perfect sense to me.

Answer 3

Because by pure chance columbus lucked his way to these here parts in 1492. He left not knowing where he was going & when he reached there he didn't know where he was & when he went back he didn't know where he had been. He was the world's worst navigator & mistakenly thought he had landed in the Orient in India & so erroneously called the native people Indians. What a joke!

Answer 4

It is there to balance out the holidays throughoout the year. Everyone knows about the Indians and the Vikings etc. Just take the day off and do not complain until you can think of a better holiday in October that warrants a day off.

Answer 5

Because Columbus was a real person. Noah is just a fictional character in a book of fables.

Answer 6

So, what exactly is the rotation schedule for this stupid argument? Did I miss the email updates?

Get an original thought, would you? Others don't seem to have a problem - or is it that you haven't completely evolved yet?

Answer 7

That man was a MURDERER. He killed all the indians from my country and when they ran out of slaves they brought Africans. I don't know why there is a day devoted for him

Answer 8

"...lying science scum..."? So you studied Columbus in science class, not history? Really?

Answer 9

I don't know, I can go to the jail if I wanted to celebrate a theft.

Answer 10

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha thats a good point about noah
columbus is a joke.ask a native american