Does anybody kno any really good knock knock jokes and other jokes? And joke websites!
thanks oOo.Tash.oOo
2006-08-15 05:40:51 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
Please visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u.
2006-08-16 19:49:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
Why is a spider so good at baseball?
Because it catches "flies".
Why don't lions eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Where do tough chickens come from?
Hard-boiled eggs!
What do you call a penguin in Florida?
Very lost!
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
What do fish take to stay alive?
Vitamin sea.
Why did the pony go to the doctor?
Because he was a little horse (hoarse).
What's a snakes favorite subject?
Hiss-tory or ssssscience.
What do you get when you cross a tiger's path?
Eaten.
What is the most dangerous plant in the jungle?
A DandyLION!
What kind of disk did the pig put in the computer?
A SLOPPY disk!
What is the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumstick!
Why do birds fly south?
Because it is too far to walk!
Why did the dog sit in the shade?
Because he did not want to be a hot dog!
What do you get when you put a turtle and a helicopter together?
Shellacopter.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they have honey combs!
What did the bee say to the flower?
What time do you open?
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What can lizards do that snakes can't do?
Stretch their legs.
What does a baby snake play with?
A rattlesnake.
Where do sheep go shopping?
At Wool-Mart.
What is the most famous fish?
A star fish.
What grows on a tree and is terrified of wolves?
The three little figs.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A walkie-talkie.
Where do frogs hang their coats?
In the croak room.
Why couldn't the leopard escape from the zoo?
He was always spotted.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellacopter.
What is the best way to talk to a shark?
Looooong distance.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish!
Why do seagulls live in the sea?
Because if they lived in the bay they'd be bagels.
Who does a frog call when he gets a flat tire?
A toad-truck.
What kind of key doesn't open a door?
A monkey!
Where did the farmer take his pigs on a sunny Saturday morning?
To a pignic.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snowbank.
What is a hog's favorite game?
Ice hoggy.
Why do cowboys ride horses?
Because they are too heavy to carry!
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
It really stunk.
What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus and a skunk?
A stinkasaurus!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
What would you get if a pig learned Karate?
Pork Chops.
Why did the boy throw the peanut butter in the ocean?
So the jellyfish could make a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich
Why did the cats get married?
Because they made a purrrfect match.
What kind of dog does a scientist have?
A laboratory retriever!
What is smarter than a parrot?
A spelling bee!
Why did the Grizzly stub his toe?
Because he had bear feet!
How did the dog stop the VCR recording?
He pressed the paws (pause) button.
Where do sheep get their hair cut?
At the Ba-Ba shop.
What side of a cat has more hair?
The outside.
A duck and a horse went out for dinner. Who paid?
The duck because he had the bill.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No ideer (no idea).
What do two horses play?
Stable-tennis.
What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
Is that you, Mamma?
Where do dogs park their cars?
In a barking lot.
What does an elephant, a car, and a tree have in common?
They all have trunks!
What was the elephant doing on the highway?
About 2 1/2 miles per hour.
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they look much better than glove compartments.
How did the elephant get in the acorn tree?
He just sat on an acorn and let it grow.
What did the cow make after the earthquake?
Milkshakes!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the mooooovies!
Why are you feeding the cow $100?
Because I want to have rich milk.
Where do cows see art?
At the moo-seum.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef.
What does a cow read every morning?
A Moospaper!
What kind of music do cows like?
Country Mooo-sic!!
Why didn't the father cow want to play games with the baby cow?
Because he wasn't in the moood!
How does a farmer keep track of all his cattle?
With a cowculator.
What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A shampoodle!
What is the cat's favorite TV show?
The evening mews!
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show!
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!
Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
In the mushroom!
What is cleverer than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
Because she heard fowl language!
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
That hit the spots!
What cat purrs more than any other?
Purrsians!
Why don't dogs make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it's a greyhound!
What should you do with a blue dog?
Cheer him up.
When is a dog most impolite?
When he points.
When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what should you do?
Take the words right out of his mouth.
Why did the dog run in circles?
He was a watchdog and needed winding.
Why did the dog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.
2006-08-15 22:27:47 · answer #2 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SANTA 1 Kilo Jalebi Khane Ke
Baad Bola: "Bhaiya Thodi Cheeni Do"..
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DUKANDAR: Cheeni Kyun???
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SANTA: "Soch Raha HU, Khane Ke
Baad Kuch Mitha Ho JAAYE"
2014-04-25 18:56:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pretty young blond goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Guaranteed to satisfy women. Only $50 each! Satisfaction or money refunded. Comes with complete instructions."
The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she reads the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to follow its training.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is very disappointed and quite upset. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the lady calls the pet store.
The man says, "I'll be right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions..the damn thing just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time."
2006-08-15 05:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.
The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."
For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.
It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."
The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.
For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."
The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."
2006-08-15 05:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by juanita2_2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone that was on one of the benches, rings. A man picks it up and here is the conversation:
"Hello?" "Honey, it's me." "Sugar!" "Are you at the club?" "Yes," "Great! I'm at the mall and I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500." "Well, go ahead and get it if you like it that much." "And I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. There's one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a great price and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you for?" "Only $60,000." "OK, but for that price I want all the options." "Oh, honey, that's wonderful! Before we hang up, there's one more thing." "What is it?" "I went to see the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!. Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of parking area, beachfront property..." "How much are they asking?" "Just $450,000. It's a magnificent price and I see that we have just enough money in the bank to buy it." "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later! I love you!!" "Bye. I love you, too."
The man hangs up the phone and holds it up asking, "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
2006-08-15 06:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by lovers fool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
2006-08-15 11:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by rsclflat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight Words with two Meanings
>
>1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
>Female..... Any part under a car's hood.
>Male.... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
>
>2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
>Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
>Male.... Playing football without a cup.
>
>3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
>Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
>Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the
>boys.
>
>4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
>Female... A desire to get married and raise a family.
>Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
>
>5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
>Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
>Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
>
>6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
>Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
>Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_expression, male bonding.
>
>7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
>Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
>Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
>
>8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
>Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
>Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
>AND;
>He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
>put in it.
>She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
>
>He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?!
>She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I
>sit on the sofa and fart!
>
>He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I
>gave you?
>She said . .Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
>
>He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
>She said . . They don't have time
>
>He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
>She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.
>
>He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring
>and Good- looking?
>She said . . . They already have boyfriends.
>
>She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is
>every night?
>He said . . . A widow.
>
>He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
>She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go
>to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
2006-08-15 05:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're so stupid, you could screw up a instruct spoil. Don't give me a bit of your mind--you are not able to spare it. The high-quality a part of you ran down your mama's leg. Now not usual in any way, but potent.
2016-08-09 11:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Karen lost her husband almost four years
ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning
stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and
urging her to get back into the world. Finally,
Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replies: "Mom!
I have someone for you to meet. Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after
dating for six weeks, he asks her to
join him for a weekend in the Catskills.
Their first night there, she undresses
as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair
of black lacy panties, he in his birthday suit.
Looking at her he asks: "Why the black panties?
She replies: "My breasts you can fondle,
my body is yours to explore, but down there I am
still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky
that night...
The following night the same
scenario. She's standing there with the
black panties on,and he is in his birthday suit ...
except that he is wearing a black condom.
She looks at him and asks: "What's with
this black condom?" He replies: "I want to offer my
deepest condolences"
2006-08-15 05:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have one of the biggest collection of SMS Jokes and shayri.such as a all kind of sms and shayri.we also have a full collection of whatsapp status and jokes.
- See more at: http://sms4-world.blogspot.in/2012/10/sorry-sms.html
2014-03-22 22:00:39 · answer #11 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋