How old for the sex talk?

Question

How young is too young to talk about sex with your child? My parents never talked to me so I did it really young. They couldnt belive I did it cuz they didnt think I knew anything about sex but I found my own information (at school)because they wouldnt tell me.

Answer 1

I don't actually even remember the first talks my mom had with me about how babies were made. I think she started with very general information as soon as I was old enough to ask questions (like 3 maybe) and just worked up from there as I got mature enough for more specific information. I don't ever remember NOT knowing that the dad put his penis in the mom's vagina, for example, but I was at least 12 before I figured out just how the two of them managed to get the body parts lined up in such a way as to make that possible. I think you start with where babies come from and leave the act of sex and the specifics of it out until they get older.

Answer 2

I think that a child should be answered honestly when they ask about sex. If that child is 4, 14, or 34, they should be able to come to their parents (within reason) and ask about sex and receive an honest, informative answer.

Parents should also use opportunities to discuss sexual behavior with their children. For example, in a movie where two characters are shown waking up together, parents should point out to children where that scene does and does not fit in with their values.

For example, I just watched a movie last night where two characters jumped into bed together all of a sudden. I wish when I was young my parents would have pointed out to me that a scene like that should be preceded by both couples discussing birth control, STDs and their level of committment to each other.

But I am grateful that when I was four and asked my Mom where babies came from, she gave me a frank answer. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I began to understand what was supposed to be fun about sex. And that was soon enough.

Answer 3

If you're kid is asking about it then NOW is the time... I wouldn't give a 5 year old a indepth-detailed description but I would make sure they know the difference between boys and girls... maybe where babies come from if they're wondering... I would say around 8-10 is where you really delve into the subject as the end of elementary/beginning of middle school is where it begins to be an issue these days... I think 20/20 or Dateline had a special about this maybe 6 months or a year ago and they said between 5-8 but I think that's a little too soon to give ALL the details.

Answer 4

I just decided to keep an open dialogue with my daughter, because we've been talking about proper and improper touching and when it's ok and all that stuff because I want her to be smart and aware and feel comfortable talking about it and be comfortable with it so from the whole touching convo came some sex convo, she's 6 so we don't go in depth, I just asked her if she knew what it was and she said it's when grown ups get naked together, So we left it at that for now..I just want her to be ok with talking about it and stuff, I think that going into detail at her age is too young but as long as there is an open line of communication the detail conversation when she's older won't be as uncomfortable for either of us, I hope anyway. :0)

Answer 5

I think you should start giving them clues at around 7 or 8, but not the full sex talk as they will not understand. Keep giving them clues, and be open with them about sex until they are 11. At 11 or 12, give them the full blown sex talk which explains pretty much everything from how to get pregnant to how to manage your period when you're sexually active to how to have sex and what sex is like. Also, tell them what sex is like honestly (you don't have to give graphic details, but be honest and mention all the sex organs involved, and explain the process. No lies like the stork!)

You always have to be honest with you children. You have to educate them about sex at an early age because kids these days are having sex and getting pregnant at ridiculous ages!
Also, they deserve to know...They shouldn't be living in ignorance.

Answer 6

I have never gone through this yet, but whenever my children ask, I'll tell them or when they start watching sexual movies or have sexually active friends. Yeah, PLEASE don't lie about these things, it will get your child confused, I know this sounds a bit stupid but, I saw this episode of South Park where they have their future selves, which are just guys that look like the children and teach them not to do drugs, but it just got the kids confused. Before I saw this episode, I did use lies to get my kids to stay away from things like this, but after that episode, I learned to just tell the truth about things like sex, drugs and alcohol. No, you don't need a full description of these touchy subjects at 5 or 6 years old, but when they ask, try to answer the question with no lies. It's best to tell your child about 8-12 years old, depending on maturity and what's happening around them.

Answer 7

I think around 8 or 9, maybe earlier if they show and unusual interest. Answer any questions they may have openly and honestly. I had the sex talk with my parents at 6, not full blown, jus the basics. And full blown when I was 9.

Answer 8

When our kids were little we lived in Abidjan. We bought a series of illustrated French books -- targeted to specific age groups from kindergarten through late teen -- that were perfect. Not too much and not too little. I suppose such books would be banned in America, but it's 25 years later; maybe not.

It's never too early to say something. Kids can then put into context what they hear about them, what the cohort (age group) just above them is talking about. Kids know instinctively when enough is too much.

Interestingly, when my kids spoke in French they spoke of things that French kids freely speak of, and used words that French kids use that might get American kids' mouths washed out with soap. If one asked them in English to translate into English, they would translate not the words, but the culture and say it (in English) in perfectly acceptable languge.

Answer 9

Until now I didnt know kids needed them just teenagers however mu husbands sister had a baby at 11 so it really depends on the child I guess

Answer 10

I was told by my grandmother around 5. It wasn't a set down but a gradual ask and tell session. You can't expect a 5 year old to fully comprehend but they will ask questions. Be honest and don't put that fluffy christian bull crap lie in it. Just be honest. Its not going to make them go out and have sex. I was 22 before I ever even did anything!