How to get my 12 y/old son interested in reading & school rather than playing online & video games?

Question

He loves to play PS2 games, online games such as Runescape & Tankmania. Recently he found Club Penquin which is a site for the younger kids. He struggled in school this past year because he would lie to me about his Homework being done so he could play his games. He is a bright young man. He has difficulty staying on task because of his ADHD, which he take medication for that sometimes causes him to be a bit tense. He tends to be explosive when he doesn't get his way. He will let others do his work for him if he can.

Answer 1

12 year old's and all children need to be influenced by parents just as well as any age child. Have him earn the time to play his video games, as stated by others, expect him to at first rebel but stay strong and don't give in but you need to have a game plan. How can you enforce rules if you don't have guidelines set up first to explain to your son. Take your time to direct him to doing other things so that he, at 12 can see his community. Have him help with you in a soup kitchen, or get him involved with a sport or activity, (such as karate), that may ask children and parents to volunteer for help with special organizations. Showing him how to give his time so that it isn't wasted on sitting in front of a video game or TV will help redirect him plus giving him. Just as a young baby needs to be fed more than one time a day, your son needs you to feed him realities in life, with correction and direction for him to grow and succeed. It wont be easy at first but with your committment you will encounter change.

Answer 2

Well, considering your son is twelve, it's kind of late to put an end to this immediately. But, I would say have certain hours he can go on Runescape. Or, take away his paid membership on Runescape. I was addicted to Runescape awhile back. I would spend 12 hours a day on it when not in school, around 6 when I was. To get myself to stop going on so much, I cancled my paid membership. This caused me to get bored with the game. So maybe tell your son that he'll have to pay for his membership if he wants to keep it.

If that doesnt' work, take the computer (and other games) out of his room. Put it in the living room, where other people will want to use the computer/tv.

Answer 3

No one should ever "do" his work for him, that will ruin his educational career forever. Too many kids I know have their parents do everything for him and as soon as they get to a grade level(usually junior high), they flip out and cheat. You need to see his homework and monitor everything. You need to be the one in control that even keeps his games and systems in your possession until the homework and reading is done. If he likes video games, try interesting him in science-fiction, my ten year old brother loves video games and I warn my mom all the time, he is going to suffer later on if he doesn't develop a good study ethic. Let's face it no one likes homework or reading (I'm a sophomore psych major in college and I hate required reading), but I have a ton and it has to be done!

His ADHD should not be used as an excuse to get out of reading. And you cannot feel guilty for his disorder causing his struggles. You can help him and encourage him. Reward him every so often with a new game or let him trade in ones he has for newer ones. And it is really important that you and him discuss his ADHD together and work towards positive solutions.

My little brother sounds exactly like your son. He has Tourette's and OCD adn often my mom will let him have horrible tantrums bc of it. He also changes when he doesn't get his way. But, you have to keep the position of authority. I'm not saying never give in, but don't put up with the attitude or it can escalate to further behavioral problems in school and social settings. Be positive and good luck!!

Answer 4

Why is he making decisions? If he can't tell you the truth, he shouldn't have video games. I would take all if it away if he can't even tell you the truth. Who cares if he explodes? Didn't you get mad at your parents when they told you to do something you didn't want to do? Be his parent, not his friend. Sit down with him and work through every homework assignment. Don't let him play or even have video games.

Personally, I believe most cases of ADHD is a way for parents not to do their job. Yes, some children are more difficult than others because we are all different. So what? Don't let his 'possible' disorder stop him from succeeding.

Answer 5

Wilehimina is right ...tough love...take away priveledges until they earn time and good grades, then in small doses, give back time for games. At our house it was a battle at first, then the routine of all chores and homework done first; only then came time for computer games or whatever. Be the parent first, and remember the kids need the boundaries. And the kids that live here at our house only get it on the weekend! Everyone is cool with it now..it is accepted as routine. They'll still love you...JCL

Answer 6

Take his video games away from him. They are ruining our young people. My parents are having the same problem with my 16 year old brother. He never did his homework and played video games all day. He has since dropped out of high school and is in a lot of trouble with the cops. Regulate his play time and check his homework. If he says he is done ask to see it. If he doesn't show it to you do not let him play. There is software out there to where you can program it to shut thing down after a given time. I would recommend that.

Answer 7

YOU are the adult/parent... take the computer away from him, and all the games, music etc... take away the fun stuff and when he decides to do his homework , school work, house hold chores... allow him to play for a period of time. When he learns schooling is first then free time is last he will eventually change, but not before he gives you a hard time. Just stick with your terms and do not back down. You will be happier and he will to one day.

Answer 8

My ADD daughter listens to books on tape/cd while doing the computer or playing games

Try www.iknowthat.com

Try challenging him to a contest. If he can a chapter read then he can play for 30 minutes. On I know that, do it with him.

My child is much less explosive now, she has been through counseling and special ed. We had to get rid of the TV for a year. Now she watches less.

Try TINTIN or ASTERIX books, they are illustrated and fabulous.

Do not rely on him about the homework issue; you and he might make a contract with the teacher (s) to email the hw or post it somewhere.

If he lies to you about hw, he has to lose the playstation for an impactful period of time.

I've been there. :)

The Adventures of Tintin: Tintin in America / Cigars of the Pharaoh / The Blue Lotus (3 Complete Adventures in One Volume, Vol. 1) (Hardcover)

Answer 9

try to get him into puzzle games first, game and works on your head! There are a lot of great puzzle games and mystery games that will have him THINKING. Get him a subscription to a gaming magazine, work WITH his hobbies not against them.
Get him a small book here and there that fits like something he may like, like.. if he likes the resident evil games buy him the book 'the zombie survival guide' maybe not the most intellectual thing but it's reading, its a start. If he likes runescape maybe something by Piers Anthony.

Good luck :)

Answer 10

I would say that you have to replace one with the other, maybe give him some game time for doing homework and good grades, but definitely monitor how much time he spends gaming. The ADHD certainly won't help, but with the right medication it can be controlled. It might be time for a medication adjustment to help control the explosiveness.