does she realy loves me.
2006-08-15 05:14:39 · 20 answers · asked by bb4bestman 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Why does her not wanting to get married have to be her "problem"? That's pretty offensive. If that's how you talk to her about it, then it's pretty obvious to me one of the reasons that she doesn't want to marry you.
If she's not ready yet, why push her? You really only have two choices:
1. Wait for her to be ready
2. Leave her and start over with someone else
You don't want to force someone into a lifetime commitment. You want them to be happy about spending forever with you and making that commitment.
2006-08-15 06:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love her; she loves you; you like each other - and she is not ready for marriage. This does not equate to she doesn't love you. She may just not be ready for marriage.
Marriage is a HUGE step and more people should know that and consider it very carefully. It is so much more than love. There are finances to consider, children, religion, education, politics, in-laws, family obligations, debt, hopes, aspirations, jobs, locations, .... The old "love will conquer all" is a nice pat answer that feels true, but just isn't.
Do you know much about her past ? How was her parents marriage ? Do you know what she grew up with in the way of marriage ? Do you know where she sees herself in 5 years ? in 10 ? 20 ? Do you know what she wants out of life (besides you, I mean.) Is it compatible with what you want ?
The web has many, many sites where you can see if YOU are ready for marriage (you, all by yourself) and if you two are ready for marriage together. Take a look at a few of them - take the tests. You may (or may not) be surprised at what you learn.
And when you DO get engaged - use the engagement as a time to check out your potential future together - go to premarital counseling together; take a marriage course together - see how you will likely iinteract as a couple/partners before you take the plunge. Our divorce rate would be less if everybody took this a bit more seriously.
Good luck - if you love her and it seems you do - then time is on your side.
2006-08-15 12:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in the same situation....Except Im the gurl who isnt ready for marriage...All I can say is that when it comes to marriage Love is only half the battle. Marriage means stability forever for women and if she feels like there are still alot of loose ends...on the stability front then marriage might frighten her. It prob has nothing to do with how much she loves you ....she prob just wants to get it right ...from the beginingand not have things fall apart
Good luck and Be sure to listen before questioning her love!
2006-08-15 12:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by ckrystil86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is way too broad. How old are you two? How long have you been with one another? What're you plans for the future? Those are pretty big things worth mentioning when asking why she's not ready for marriage. Besides, what's the big rush if you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with her? Why put a rush on the rings and ceremony when it can just as well happen later on down the line.
2006-08-15 12:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably just not sure she wants to be with you long term, or she's hesitant to change the way her life is. Being married is a big responsibility, and only those mature enough to handle it should do it.
And to respond to the previous poster, love has a lot to do with commitment. If you love someone, you want only them. It's called fidelity. Love and fidelity come together.
2006-08-15 12:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have one question:
HUH?
Whether or not she is ready for marriage is not the problem. Maybe she loves you dearly, but is afraid the marriage will fail. Are her parents divorced? Are yours? Are there more divorced couples than married in her family? Ask these questions. Maybe she's just not ready. It probably has nothing to do with you.
2006-08-15 12:21:25 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's you. If you love her what's wrong with waiting untils she's ready? I know it's hard to believe but women aren't in such a rush to have to cook and clean for you, help you solve your problems, listen to your life plans and in general be your support beam. And why should she, you have already shown you are not very supportive of her.
2006-08-15 12:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot ask her or she cannot answeer you then the relationship is not mature enough to withstand the demands of marriage.Marriage should be about honesty trust and wanting to share everything in your lives sounds like you are too far from that at this point.
2006-08-19 01:42:09 · answer #8 · answered by la kira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to her. Maybe she has goals for herself before she gets married or she may feel too young. Or she may just not be ready to settle down with someone. But just sit down and talk with her to find out the truth
2006-08-15 12:21:19 · answer #9 · answered by Nat the Brat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because she does not want to marry right now does not mean that she does not love you she might have some thinks in her pass that are not letting her marry you.
2006-08-18 13:08:33 · answer #10 · answered by mzlynn_111105 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋