pregnancy help crisis oh my god!!!?

Question

ok jus found out my friend is pregnant, she dont want it but is to scared to do anythin about it, and im tryin to help her see things clearly and get her to get it sorted, i know i cant force her but since she wants to get rid of it what can i do to help, i dont want to see her chuck her life away on somethin unplanned!!! but she keeps sayin she is too scared to sort it out, help me i dunno wot to do, how can i persuade her????

i think i shud clarify, she has made her mind up she doesnt want it. im not the father, but i dunno if he knows, She knows she doesnt want to have it but is too scared to sort it out and is too scared to have the child.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like she's planning suicide. There's only one way that I deal with suicidal people. Make them tough.

Tell her to quit being childish and selfish. She knew what sex was for, and yet she did it anyway. Something unplanned? By having sex she was PLANNING to get pregnant. How can she not see this? Tell her to toughen up and live the life she's planned for herself. Then, make sure she doesn't commit suicide, as soon as your back is turned. Stick with her, and be the friend she needs right now. Getting the father involved might help too. You know him better than I do, you make that choice. But he has a right to know about this eventually.

Answer 2

First of all, 'get rid of it' ? As of this moment, the rest of her life is irrevocably changed, no matter what she decides to do. Live with the regret of abortion, the possibility of regreting an adoption, accepting the hard responsibility of single parenthood, these are decisions SHE must make. You can't persuade her, you can't make the decision for her.

Best thing to do, she needs to address the situation with a clear mind. Suggest she do some deep soul searching and get a good night's rest. Maybe she could write down her 3 options and list the pro's and con's of each.

A couple of thoughts, some of the best things in life are unplanned and sometimes unplanned things plan us. I've got a house full of unplanned and wouldn't change them for the world. Neither would my hubby. For her, right now, having a baby might seem to be the end of the world, but it never is. It's the beginning of a new one.

Answer 3

Get her to go to her GP. Say you'll go with her if necessary as she sounds as if she needs alot of moral support. if she's worried about what they will think or what they will do as a check up ask for a female doctor. Locums are also good, normally fresh out of training and young enough to be compassionate without appearing condersending (no offense to older doctors, it's just someone closer to her age may be easier to talk to).

If she's like me and her family is well known at the practice she can always go to another as a visitor or find out if there is a local family planning clinic or something similar.

Does she have an Aunt, grandparent or a close family friend you can both got to? If she is under 16 you really ought to tell her parents, although this can be absolutly terrifying, as she's probably feeling that she's let them down and how they will react. most of the time, parents, once they have got over the shock, are amazingly supportive.

Also, many magazines and websites have alot of infomation about this.Try this site: http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/index.php?id=548.
It's actually a site for parents who have teenage daughters who are pregnant but there are some greally useful links on there.

At the end of the day, it's her choice and her body, but this is definalty something that isn't going to go away by ignoring it, its only going to get bigger. Literally. She's scared, confused and desperate for an easy solution. Unfortuantly there isn't one for this.
Good luck.

Answer 4

There are many stories about girls who leave it too late to do anything about an unplanned pregnancy because they are too scared to face it. I don't know what it is you want her to do? What does she want?
I think the first thing to do is make an appointment with a gp. One step at a time might be the answer. Get some help. She's in a state of panic and can't think clearly.

Answer 5

there really is nothing you can do except find a local planned parenthood and get her there fast before its to late to chose an abortion if that is an option for her due to beliefs she could also get a hold of an adoption agency and carry the baby to full term and have an arranged open adoption where she can still be part of the childs life but give it up for adoption and not have the responsibility. there are plenty of couplwes waiting for a baby who wuld be more than happy to raise her child. The best thing you can do is be a friend don't be judgemental she is scared and needs your strong head because her mind has left the building so to speak.

Answer 6

Get her to the Family Planning Clinic ASAP. That way, she wont have to see anyone she knows (like her GP) but there will be a doctor there to confirm the pregnancy and give the first approval for a termination. They will sort everything out, tell her where to go, who to see and make her next appointment. You will be able to go with her and dont forget to reassure her that they deal with this situation every day! They will explain every step after that, and everything is arranged very quickly! The earlier she sees someone, the less likely she is to have to have a termination, as in very early pregnancy they can use medication to cause a miscarrige! I have worked for the FPC in a local community hospital which is why I know so much. Good Luck and please let me know how everything turns out!

Answer 7

I was scared and we were planning the pregnancy. There are soooo many people out there that would do anything to be able to have a baby. A lot of those people are people who had abortions in the past and cannot conceive because of scar tissue in the uterus. (abortionists don't like to tell you about that). I would consider adoption. It is so easy for somebody to just run into a clinic and kill it. That is something that will haunt her and she will regret it forever. This baby deserves a life to live and it can be loved by somebody if not by her.

Answer 8

Well if she dont want the baby then she is going to have to go for an abortion (poor child). But if she does not go for it then she is going to have the baby. She is obviously not 100% sure what to do, but time is running out really. If she has the baby she could give it up for adoption and make some other couple happy that cant have a child. But its up to her what to do and she needs to do it now really. Talk to her and explain things to her or otherwise tell her to talk to her parents and see what they say. Its going to be hard but Im sure her parents will understand and be greatful she has ask for thier advice. Good luck hope she does whats right. I must say I dont believ in abortions but each to thier own.

Answer 9

Don't listen to everyone who says adoption, that would be the hardest thing to do i mean how can you give something up you have just carried for 9 months? it is impossible as i know because i was once there myself. I was 16 and get pregnant and i went straight to my parents although they were dissapointed with me at first they were really supportive with my decision to have an abortion which i know was the right choice for me now. i'm 24 and a model and i know that if i had of kept the baby i would have nothing, no job, no money, no career. I hope your friend finds the support she needs, she can also talk to her doctor who will point her in the right direction of an abortion clinic or social services, depending on her final decision, just be positive for her and tell her she is not on her own. x x

Answer 10

she should have throught about that before she had unprotected sex that shouldn't see. abortion is not a form of contraception and i think its discusting the way people take advantage of it in todays society.

if she doesn't want to keep the baby herself has she thought of putting it up for adoption.

if she does have an abortion she will be killing a living being for her own selfish needs!
think about this its heart will already be beating , its fingers and toes are starting to develop arms and legs are being formd and tiny dental buds have formed in its jaw which will later become the teeth. it is an actual life she will be taking away.

i suggest she goes to her dr or local family planning clinic to discuss all options with some1 and i also suggest you both get a better out look on things before you even consider having unprotected sex again.