The guy who was the love of my life but who also treated me REALLY badly, and who is now my ex, has gone on to settle down with a girl and start a family with her. I thought "good things happen to good people" so why is it he is happily settled and I'm still not meeting nice guys and feeling despair at my situation!?? I don't understand it!
2006-08-15 05:08:37 · 26 answers · asked by long_luscious_lashes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who has answered this question - there may be a few idiots who use this site but they are far outweighed by some really kind and genuine people. I have taken on board your answers. Thank you again :o)
2006-08-15 05:22:52 · update #1
It's really not a good idea to measure the quality of your life against other's. I get what you're saying here and all. Trust me, I get it. It sucks when nasty people have good things happen for him. Just let it slide and know that you'll get what you should get in time. It's bound to happen.
2006-08-15 05:12:33 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should consider yourself fortunate to be rid of him. It may seem like injustice but you are in a far better situation than you were previously. What he does matters little to you any more, and anyway there is no guarantee that his life IS one big happy bed of roses.
Far better to be alone for the right reasons than with anybody for the wrong ones. The hurts you suffered in the past only serve to make you appreciate true happiness once you find it and learn it's real value.
Fate can play a part in life but if you want something in most cases it isn't going to fall into your lap. Perhaps now is the time for you to enjoy being single and being able to do whatever you like without considering anybody else. You could travel, further your education...get a new job..do anything you want. Look at it as an opportunity and don't go spending your life dwelling on things you don't have
I'm sure you'll find somebody special one day, probably when you least expect it ; )
S
x
2006-08-15 05:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by lady_sephie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a person just isn´t the right one for you, if you felt he was the love of your life even though he treated you really badly then you should think of it as a lucky escape. I know you feel badly now and nothing anyone says can change that, YET !!! but there will be a time in the future, maybe tomorrow or maybe next year when you WILL ask yourself "What did I ever see in him?"
You don´t know, perhaps later he will treat her the same way or maybe she´ll do the same to him, then you can smile about it.
The justice comes when you find the man who gives you butterflies in your stomach and you find yourself counting down the minutes til you see him again. I´m the same as you and still looking for the one for "us good people", and the one thing that keeps me going is knowing that there is someone out there for us. Don´t give up hope.
And don´t try to understand it.
Your love may be in your next letter or just around the street corner your about to turn.
You just haven´t met him yet.
2006-08-15 05:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by Peter R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The blessing in disguise may just be that he has continued to treat his significant other badly and she doesn't have the self esteem to do anything about it....and now that they have started a family just may settle for a less than happy situation then no situation at all....As for you not meeting nice guys yet...don't settle until you do....the best things in life are worth waiting for.
2006-08-15 05:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are to caught up with the drama. If he's your ex and already settling down..you should be long gone. Why do you care what he is doing? It's obvious your having some difficulty letting go. But until you let go you'll never be able to move on. Stop and take a breath and look to the future..keep your nose out of the past cuz it's only going to get bitten. Trust me.
2006-08-15 05:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by dakota_baby_469 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The justice is that this guy sounds like a **** and you have escaped from it now rather than 10 years down the line.
If he treated you badly then you are better off without him.
Go out and find someone who will treat you right.I know how you feel though. It hurts a lot, but you will be better off in the long run.
Am sure you will meet the right guy one day
2006-08-15 05:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by Mr looking for answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's easy to fall into the routine of things. For example, if you've always had a history of dating the wrong kind of guys, you may discover that for some reason your actions may lead you down that road to dating them. I might suggest altering your actions and behaviors a bit. As they say - if you keep doing the same things, you'll keep getting the same results. Once you change something, you may just affect the end result, which could land you a GREAT guy (who also does not treat you poorly). Good luck!
2006-08-15 05:15:20 · answer #7 · answered by loving father 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your answer is in your question.... =T. you Loved someone who Treated you Badly.
you are still letting him treat you badly if u keep thinking about him. Let Him Go. u know why? because, for whatever reasons, u needed something else. u need a boyfriend who Loves and Cares about you enough to treat you Right. but you let him keep treating u badly, because you loved him. u didn't do anything wrong in the relationship except Let him treat you badly. if you had expectations from what u wanted in your relationship, you never would've let him do this to you. what u need to do is think about yourself in a positive way, instead of feeling negative that you weren't Good enough.
were u a good girlfriend? did u love him? did u take care of him? did u stay w/ him, no matter what? then you are an Awesome person, and a wonderful girlfriend. the problem wasn't that u loved him. the problem was that u didn't take time to figure out what ur needs were. u kept giving and not receiving..and that takes a toll on the relationship. he just wasn't RIGHT for you. did he try his best to make you happy? did he try his best to make sure u were taken care of? probably not.. which is why u guys broke up. if it wasn't right, it wasn't right. if u truly love him, Let Him Go to someone who can Make him change! the fact that it wasn't you is sad, but it's not ur fault. he's just not right for you. keep searching, keep working on urself, Know that u are an Awesome person. that way, u will never let anyone treat u badly. u will have expectations from ur partner, and Find that one who WILL do what is right for you, and by you. it's worth it to find that. even tho u were willing to "settle" for this guy....why???? why settle? you deserve to be happy. i don't know this guy, perhaps he's a good guy and all and he loved you. but if he didn't know what to do to make you happy, and didn't try his hardest, then that's not good enough for u. that's it. end of story. and if he's changed now, be happy for him. because he was never able to be good enough for you. find someone who is Right, Happy, Positive, and Healthy for you. trust me, it will be a HUGE difference from the relationship u had w/ this guy...u will be relieved that u weren't stuck w/ him. keep looking and keeping positive people around u, and filter out the negatives. it's worth it for your happiness.
2006-08-15 05:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie it's only a matter of time before he starts treating her badly too, so try to forget about him and leave them to it. If you feel sad, just think of all the bad times he gave you and that will help you realise that you're better off without him. Concentrate on your own life and mr nice will come along at some point. A leopard can't change it's spots, so they will probably be having problems too.
2006-08-15 05:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass always seems greener the otherside.....
If he treated you badly... then he may treat his current girlfriend (or wife) like that also.
My advice is never to rush to meet a nice guy... they will come in time. You must be patient. Thats what I am doing..... but waiting for a girl, not guy. lol
"Good things happen to good people", and it will. Enjoy others things and let love come to you.
Good luck in life.
2006-08-15 05:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by The Avenger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said it yourself, he treated you very badly, so it's not like you want to be with a person like that right??!
Oh, and there's a nice saying I like to give to people when they mention the whole "people get what they deserve in the end". It is true, you will get what you deserve in the end, and so will he. But the longer it takes for you to get something good, the better that good thing will be :) so just be patient, you know you deserve better, so go find it!
2006-08-15 05:21:01 · answer #11 · answered by Someone help me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋