I have dated my fiance for nearly 2 years. We've been engaged for 8 months with no plans to set a date. Today I sat back and watched another friend (who has not been dating her bf for nearly as long) set up plans to get married. Even my ex-husband is getting remarried in 2 weeks and he only got engaged in June. I realize that none of this should impact when I get married, but I can't seem to help feeling more hurt and more resentful everytime it happens. In the course of the past 22 months, I've seen more than 10 couples I know start to date, get engaged and either get married or set a date for marriage. This is starting to take its toll on my relationship with my fiance because I'm so bothered everytime it happens again. He says I'm the love of his life, but he just doesn't have a deadline to get married. We're both over 40 and we don't live together. I am a single parent and pay all my own bills. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how I can have a better attitude about all this?
2006-08-15 05:08:17 · 4 answers · asked by fitness_girl730 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like you need to have a long talk with him about it and find out if its really what he still wants to do
2006-08-15 05:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by vet/tech/turned/nurse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get no where if you dont speak up. If you have spoken with him maybe you need to let him know how much it really bothers you. Just make him understand. If that doesnt work why dont you set the date. Maybe he is just very indecisive. Or you could do what my husband and I did. We found a little wedding chapel nearby booked it for the next day took a close friend each. It was nice private and spontaneous, which very well suited our relationship. And perhaps you are not looking deep enough into your friends relationships. Divorce rates are very high these days and perhaps short courtships have something to do with it. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-08-15 05:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by cjones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is key. Talk to him and find out if this is "all there is" or if he sees marriage in the future at some point. If you need marriage and commitment from him and he's not willing to give it, then maybe you should examine your relationship and either sacrifice your desire to marry or move on. Life is short and at 40+ years old it's beginning to descend the hill so to speak.
BTW, I'm over 40 as well and looking forward to my first and only marriage. I know what you're feeling.
2006-08-15 05:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell him that you two need to set a date that you think its time for you and him to get married two years is a long time to be engaged and either its time to get married or time to move on
2006-08-15 05:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by mario c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋