Stay at Home Mom's: How many of you have 3 year old boys that still are not even close to being potty trained?

Question

My son will be 3 on Thurs. And he is not even intersted in potty training. He will not pull down his shorts. He will not tell me when he wants to go potty. Hubby has shown him what to do( standing up and sitting) and he is just not intersted. He is not a big talker. He only talks when he wants to, which is not a lot. My Mother in Law tells me that I should throw him in Daycare so that they will teach him to go potty and to talk better. I don't feel I need to spend that kind of money to do that. He would rather be with my husband & I then be with other kids. I take him to the park and to playgroups and he wants to be with me. I know he needs to be in pre-school but, there isn't a preschool here that will take a child that is not potty trained. I do want to get him potty trained, but I don't wait to push him. I don't believe in using candy as an award for going potty. Any ideas or suggestions? I have bought him big boy undies and he will just pee through them.

Answer 1

First of all, why can only stay at home mom's answer this? (I'm not one by the way). Second of all, you can't push kids to potty train, you just can't. It will only cause problems. You need to just start talking about him using the potty when you are changing his diaper. Have his dad show him how it's done (most little boys love doing things like dad does). Also, no, he's not supposed to be in preschool at this age. They should start preschool when they are 4. Preschool is just a fancy day care anyway and hardly anyone I know (including me) ever went to preschool. It's a fancy daycare with a few minutes of learning and quite frankly he could learn more from spending the day with you. Don't push him though on the potty training, just start talking about it and when he shows interest have him try it. If he starts to pull away from it though--stop! Don't ever push him if he starts using it but then quits. Just be patient! If you have any more questions, feel free to contact me. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

When we were young, 2 seemed to be the age of potty training. With all the diapers we have today, it seems that 3 is more the age. My son is 2 and 4 months. He will go on the potty before his bath. Otherwise, he would rather play than sit on the potty. I have a friend who's son is almost 31/2 and is not potty trained. Your son is probably not ready. When he is ready, it will happen. Keep asking him if he wants to sit on the potty. Get books and videos on potty training. Any time he sits on the potty, give him lots of praise.

As for his speech, it sounds like he may have a slight speech delay. You may want to talk to your doctor and get a referral for a speech evaluation. You can also go through your local school district.

It would be good to get him with other kids. Preschool at this age is more socialization than academics. You could try putting him in a daycare center/home for a couple mornings a week, just for the social aspect. It would also give you a break.

Answer 3

A friend of mine has a son (now 8) that was almost 4 before he potty trained. She tried everything...being nice, being stern and even including allowing him to choose a toy (Buzz Light Year) and then putting it on the back of the toilet. If he went he could have the toy. That didn't work either. He just refused to do it. A lot of kids do this because it's one of the few things they can control. They will grow out of it - some later than others - but I think the more you emphasize it the more he will rebel. That doesn't mean ignore the situation, just don't make a big deal out of it. He will go when he's ready. Your mother in law is incorrect to tell you to send him to daycare for them to train. He's not their child, he's yours. He should be learning these things at home. A lot of kids do learn things in daycare, but they are kids that have gone on a regular basis. A child who otherwise hasn't attended daycare should not go just for someone else to potty train them. Best of luck to you...I know it's not easy!

Answer 4

I did the same thing with my 3 year old daughter. She turned 3 in Jan. and I myself am a stay at home mother. I have 2 other children that we had in daycare, and I didn't want to put my last child through that. I got a potty sticker chart off of the net. http://www.ablebaby.com/ptychrt.htm We did use it alot in the beginning, I would take her every 30 minutes.. Turn on the water, read a book, even sing a song. Then I would put a sticker on the chart when she would go. She loved it, then it wore off and she wanted pull ups again. I am in the same boat you are and myself I don't know what to do. I'm going to try the chart again since it has been about 3 months now. Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

not a stay at home mom im a single dad. by far an expert at this dealing with almost the exact thing.now im sending may son to mothers day out (why they call it that)they allow the potty chalenged tots.ive heard it helps.hope so.apparently what they do is take them to potty several times a day after and before every activitywether they need to go or not.cant think of any reason that shouldnt work at home.on the other hand being around other kids should help his social skills especialy if hes an only child.mothers day out is only two days a week.

Answer 6

LOL, ya daycare that will help him develop. My 3 year old is not quite potty trained and mom stays at home. Boys from what I hear tend to potty train later then girls. My 6 year old boy potty trained earlier but seemed interested in it, not the same with my little one. Your right by not pushing him. Try something like a plastic diaper (god i home that plastic pants wack-o doesn't read this) It may start to get very uncomfortable for him and may encourage him to start using the toilet

Answer 7

My son was fast approaching 3 with no interest. So I forced his hand and started putting him in cloth diapers with plastic pants. Its alot of extra work, but it helped. He could feel the wet, and after awhile, was receptive to potty training. Diapers nowdays are so good that usually a child doesn't feel the wetness. And about the talking, get him to tell you or show you what he wants. Don't get it for him just because you know or he grunts at you. Encourage those vocal skills. No need to turn him into a chatter box, but make sure you are doing what you can to encourage his words and opinions.

Answer 8

When my son, who is about to turn 5 in November, was 2, we started working with him on potty training. He had no interest whatsoever. Pull-Ups work great. Thats when his slight interest kicked in. However....he wasnt full potty trained until he about 3 1/2. What worked is we let him "tinkle" outside. He loved it and on top of that, we never had a problem with him going in his pants or going in bed. (Yes, he uses the potty)
Boys seem to be more difficult than girls. My sister has 2 girls and 2 boys and she's having a heck of a time with her boys.

I wish you luck and I hope I helped.
Have a wonderful day!

Answer 9

used to be a stay at home mom, but times are hard, so im working now. i would say that your son sounds normal to me, he may just be shy and not adapting to change as quickly as your other kids did. my son was potty trained by 2 1/2 but he is my first and only, so i could work with him more. he may not be speaking alot because there is simply no need to. if he has older siblings that speak for him or you offer him a drink instead of waiting till he asks for it, you understand, im sure.

Answer 10

My son is 3 1/2 and we've just started putting underwear on him this summer. He didn't show any interest before and as others have mentioned, please don't force him, he has to want to learn. I know you don't want to bribe him, but it works! A couple of M&M's really works wonders as an incentive! We still have him in pull-ups at night - he rarely stays dry all night at this point. Good luck and don't worry, he'll get it eventually.