ok friends of eire?

Question

i am looking for some jokes on paddyirishman
paddyenglishman and paddyscotsman.
I did know so many now i forget them all.
Please help
till we meet again

Answer 1

I love Paddyenglishman.... jokes. Below are three of my favourites.


Paddy irishman, Paddy englishman, Paddy japaneese man and Paddy scotsman were all on a private jet. Suddenly the pilot exclaimed 'we’re too heavy we need to loose some wait or we’ll crash'. Paddy japaneese man stepped up and said this is for japan and jumped off the jet. we’re still too heavy the pilot roared!. so up stepped paddy scotsman this is for scotland he cried as he threw himself out of the jet. you wont believe this but were still too heavy! so up stepped the brave paddy irishman, with tears in his eyes as he stepped to the edge of the aircraft. THIS IS FOR IRELAND! he bellowed, as he ****** paddy englishman out the door.

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar and order a pint. Paddy Scotsman looks down and sees a fly in his pint. He looks around, sees no one is looking at him and fishes the fly out of his pint. Paddy Englishman looks down and sees a fly in his pint. He stands up, disgusted, and leaves the bar. Paddy Irishman looks down and sees a fly in HIS pint. His fishes it out and starts banging it against the bar, yelling, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were all working on the 102nd floor of a skyscraper in New York. Lunch time comes and they all stop working to eat.Paddy Englis...opens his lunchbox and says ' If the wife gives me ham sandwichs one more time, I'm going to jump out the window'. Paddy Scot....opens his lunchbox and say 'If the wife gives me chicken sandwichs one more time, I'm going to jump out the window'.Paddy Iris...opens his lunchbox and says 'If the wife gives me cheese one more time, I'm going to jump out the window'. Next day at lunchtime, all three open their luncheboxes, see the same sandwich's as the day before, and all three go and thrown themselves out the window.

At the funerals the three Mrs. Paddy's are talking. 'I don't understand it', says Mrs Paddy Englishman, 'he never told me he didn't like ham'. 'either do I' says Mrs Paddy Scotsman, 'I truly believed he liked chicken'.I can't understand it neither, says Mrs Paddy Irishman, 'that gobshite made his own sandwich's every morning.

I know loads more, but I'm pissed off typing. Enjoy.

Answer 2

heres a few, hope u enjoy:

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking (as you do), and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer to keep it in."
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!"

Paddy English, Irish and Scotsman were in a Landrover in the desert and it ran out of petrol. Paddy Irish man got out and took the keys, Paddy Scotsman got out and took the radio. Paddy English man got out and took the door. When someone came they asked Paddy Irish man why did he take the keys."So no one could steel the jeep", he replied.They asked why did Paddy Scotsman take the radio."So I won't be lonely", he answered. They asked Paddy English man why he took the door."So if it gets too hot I can roll down the window!"

Answer 3

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman are in the pub. All of a sudden, they hear ringing coming from Paddy Englishman's head. Paddy Englishman taps the side of his head and starts talking away. He eventually finishes his conversation and the two boys ask him what that was all about. Paddy Englishman says "Oh, I have a microchip in my head that acts as a mobile phone". The boys are impressed.

A while later, Paddy Scotsman asks if they can meet up next week for a pint. Paddy Englishman says that he will, but Paddy Irishman says "hang on a sec" He puts on his shades and taps them for a bit. The two boys ask him what he's doing. Paddy Irishman says "Oh, I've got a PDA in my shades. I was just checking if I'm available.Yep, that should be grand"

Not to be outdone, Paddy Scotsman heads off to the toilet and comes out with a big length of toilet roll hanging out of his bum. The two boys look at him, slightly bemused. "What in the name of God are you doing?" say the lads. "Oh", says Paddy Scotsman, "I'm just receiving a fax!"

Answer 4

omg omg!! These so old lol! Ah crap I can't really remember any of them! I'll give it ago...

Paddyirishman, Paddyenglishman and Paddyscotsman came across a magical slide. Any wish that they wanted all they had to do was say it when their going down the slide, and it will be at the bottom.

Paddyirishman went first, as he slid down the slide he yelled out "I wish for diamonds", and landed in a barrel of diamonds.

Paddyenglishman jumps onto the slide enthusiastically and goes down. As he goes down he says "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" happily, and without realising, falls into a puddle of wee at the bottom.

Paddyscotsman gets on the slide, but as hes so fat, his shirt rips on the slide. "Sh,it!" he yells out.

And falls in some sh,it...

Man there old lol

Answer 5

Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scots Man
decided to go to the funfair together. They organised to meet up at the big magic slide at three o' clock.
But the next day, Paddy Scotsman wasn't there at three o' clock so Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman went to the big magic slide without him.
the man who owned the slide told them that whatever you shout on your way down you land in a big pot of it!
The man left and PaddyScotsMan arrived.
Paddy Irishman went down the slide and cried, "GOLD!" and he landed in a pot of gold.
Paddy Englishman went down the slide and cried, "SILVER!" and he landed in a pot of silver
Paddy Scotsman went down and cried, "Wee!" When he saw what was coming he cried "Oh sh*t!"

Paddy English man, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman went into the jungle and each brought something with them.
Paddy Englishman said, "I brought a bucket to collect water in!"
Paddy Irishman said, "I brought a spear to kill animals for food!"
Paddy Scotsman said, "I brought a car door...so I can roll up the window if it rains!"

One day while Paddy English man, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were working they took a break and opened their lunch boxes.
PaddyEnglishman said, "Ugh! If I get ham sandwiches again I'll jump off that tall building!"
Paddy Irishman said, "Ugh! If I get chicken sandwiches again I'll jump off that building too!"
Paddy Scots man said, "If I get egg mayonaise ssandwiches again I'll jump too!"
The next day they each got the sandwiches they didn't want and jumped off the building.
At the funeral their wives began talking.
Paddy English man's wife said, "I didn't think he was serious when he told me he was going to jump!"
Paddy Irish man's wife said, "He never told me!"
They looked at Paddy Scotsman's wife who said, "He always made his own lunch!"

Answer 6

great fan of Ireland

Answer 7

huh?