Three years ago, I needed a car. I was stupid, but nevertheless, bought a car that really was above my means. I needed a cosigner. Mom to the rescue. Because she cosigned for my car, she lost out on her home refinance loan.
Now, I've paid a large portion of the car off. She was able to get her home loan. But her payments are more than she can afford. She makes it only because I'm living with her and paying half of the bills. She is also a bitter woman, and it's really tough living with her.
If I can no longer take living with her, should I feel bad leaving?
2006-08-15 04:38:45 · 14 answers · asked by Sagefrogg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
To clear things up. Mom would have gotten the same loan with or without the car. Either way, she wouldn't have been able to afford the payments.
And I already know about freedom. I moved back home with my mom because I bought the car. And I still have the dang car.
And please be harsh if I need it.
2006-08-15 05:02:25 · update #1
It was nice of your mom to help you with the car. But she should not have gotten a refinance loan she could not afford. I am surprised the bank would allow it.
Give her plenty of notice about leaving. Let her know that you will be leaving in six months. That will give her time to make other plans. She can always refinance and extend the loan to make her payments lower.
Being in a living situation like that is so bad. I bet it is affecting you a lot more than you realize. You will feel so much freer when you move out.
To be honest, it is best to let your mom know now that you are going to live your own life. If she wants to be bitter, that is fine, but you will not let her make you miserable.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-15 04:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
As a 'good and moral' person (which you demonstrate simply by asking the questions) you should feel bad about leaving.
But you should still leave.
There are a lot of places online, paper and flyers in the community where she can advertise for a roommate. After losing you she may learn a hard lesson about how she treats anyone living with her. If she does your relations with her could also greatly improve!
Good Luck!
2006-08-15 04:42:18 · answer #2 · answered by shredderb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should feel bad leaving. She is your mother. She cosigned for your car. Because of her helping you she hurt herself financially so now it is your turn to help her. Besides that you should've been responsible enough to look at cars you could afford without a cosign. Sorry to seem so harsh, but that is the way I see it.
2006-08-15 04:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by ModelFlyerChick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you have to do. But do your best to maintain a good relationship with your Mother before you leave. Check out if she can refinance her loan for a smaller monthly payment, or if you can find someone to move in to help her with the bills. I know you feel beholden to her, but you also have to live your own life. Offer to help her in anyway, and give her a 3-6 month warning of your leaving which gives her ample time to get her finances figured out. It's a bad position to be in, but you HAVE to live your own life.
2006-08-15 04:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by lauriejustlaurie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing she needs to get some help with her being bitter...There is no reason to be bitter..........
As for co-signing your car loan..She knew what she was doing and the fact that you lost the car and messed up her credit isn't your fault but I can understand you wanting to help her..But it is time you got out on your own , time to let go, and she should let you with no problem...Maybe you can help her by trying to find out if she is eligible for any government money...They are out there and some are free that you don't have to pay back...
2006-08-15 04:47:45 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just leave why stay in a place where someone is bitter all the time, but if you do move out just remember its not easy living on your own its too expensive. try getting a roommate or something, but don't feel bad for wanting to leave.
2006-08-15 04:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by Mikey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mother's bitterness is affecting your life negatively, then speak to her first openly and brutally honest. Let her know you will leave if things don't change. If they don't, she can find another room-mate to pay half the bills. But give her notice first so she can find somebody. That's only right.
2006-08-15 04:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's up to you.
I wouldn't be able to live there but if that's the only way she can pay for the house, then you might want to just stay away more.
2006-08-15 04:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she helped you now you need to help her.If it wasnt for you getting that car you just had to have she would have gotten her refinance.Now the bills are too much for her.You need to help her thats what good sons and daughters do.As much money that shes forked out on you since you were born its time to repay that debt sir
2006-08-15 04:45:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did help you out on the car, you know. Why don't you help the woman out when she needs it? She's your mom for god's sake.
2006-08-15 04:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋