When I broke up with my bf almost a year ago, I invested in a vibrator, which I have been happily using ever since. I'm finally involved with someone and we're getting pretty serious sexually. Last night he was going down on me and I couldn't get off. I feel like I can't have an orgasm without the vibrator now (keep in mind that it has been my main source of pleasure for 11 months). Has this ever happened to anyone else? Without bringing it to bed with us, how can I get past this? Please please help!
2006-08-15 04:34:52 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lol, my friend had that same problem. The way she got over it was to cut herself off from her toys for a while. I know it's a scary thought. After a while she started to enjoy the real thing like she used too. Also, make sure that there is plenty of rubbing and fore play. It makes you want it more!
2006-08-15 04:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by str8tequila80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont have that problem but i read something about it once, vibrators are so powerful and no man can ever use the same motions as they do no matter how hard they try..its great to pleasure yourself but if u use them too much then it has affects..the sensations from a vibrator are so strong and now ur body is used to that being what gives u an orgasm, so no man can compete with it no matter how good he is..u need to put it away and not use it for a long time so ur body can adjust to real sexual feelings from another person. so your saying before the vibrator u cud get off by a man going down on u? see it has had bad affects, they are too strong and powerful, just dont use it no matter what the circumsatnce and use this new guy as a way to ween yourself from it, u might wanna tell him so he doesnt get dissapointed that your not reaching the peak with him..good luck.
2006-08-15 04:43:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, although I'm not a woman, I can help try to figure this out.
Remember that orgasm is not just caused by physical friction, an orgasm can be helped (or stunted) by emotional pressures as well. Perhaps you and your new boyfriend have trust issues or perhaps you just feel it is too soon to lose control in an orgasm.
It can be difficult to trust someone enough to fully enjoy yourself sexually with them the first few times you engage in intercourse. Hollywood makes sex into this "always passionate, best the first time, easily engaged in by strangers" lie. The best sex is about knowing your partner and accepting their indosyncracies without being embarassed.
What I'm trying to say is that perhaps you just need a little time to relax before you are ready to have an orgasm with this new boy. Also remember that setting the goal of "I'm going to finish" will often put too much pressure on yourself and thus disable you from being able to finish. Just relax and have a good time. If it doesn't feel good, help him find a way that DOES feel good, and if it does feel good but you just aren't finishing, just relax and enjoy it.
If this continues, talk with the boy about the issue. Let him know you are worried about the vibrator changing your level of sensitivity. If he cares for you he will be willing to work to change that, and he will be willing to perhaps use the vibrator as well as his own tongue.
2006-08-15 04:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah heres what you do! Dont use to vibrator at all now. Its a side effect because the vibrator provides constant pleasure down their. Now of course you could bring it to bed with you and your new guy may or may not like it but most likely he will be upset that he cant please you without it- or take it as a sign he has to work harder to get you to O. But the best thing i can recommend is stop using it altogether and eventually the sensations will come back withthe guy- im going to warn youll it will be hard though to not give into temptation of the vibrator!
2006-08-15 04:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by cats4ever2k1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Incorporate the toys into your bedroom play. Most guys are open for experimentation--just be sure you reassure your man he's really all you need but you want to try something a little different. In time, things should get to the point where you won't need to use the vibrator as your new love will learn all the right ways to touch you to bring you to the ultimate pleasure....
2006-08-15 04:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I am Guy but I would like tell som tricks to you
1) Avoid using vibrator, refuse it
2) Avoid sex for 5 days minimum
3) Dont fear
4) Enjoy the sex climex after one hour minimum till then play with your body ask your bf to rub your G spot suck his things try Kamasutras position to get tight insertation
5) Again repeat do not use any artificial things for reaching climex
6) If possible look blue film or read sexual stroies
7) By end of two three days you will enjoy natural sex and will forgive artificial vibrators
2006-08-15 04:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by sanjay 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry I'm a guy but here is my take. You have become accustomed to the intense vibrations and anything less just won't cut it. It is a lot like when a guy masturbates a lot. He can become unable to "feel" the vagina when he is having intercourse. Just put away you love rocket and see if that helps or ask your bf if he would mind if you brought it to bed with you. That's always fun. He might be into it. Its not as uncommon as you might think. Hope this helps? Have fun and be safe!
2006-08-15 04:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by woodybmi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Vibrators are evil! They condition you so that you need that vibration to be able to have an orgasm. You have to re-program yourself, so to speak, to be able to have an orgasm without that sensation. Throw the vibrator away and get busy with your man or do it yourself. It may take some time before you can get off without the vibrator.
2006-08-15 04:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. Just gotta stop using it. Eventually your senses will come back. Right now your just a little numb from over stimulation. Ie. You aren't as sensitive anymore.
Quit with the vibrator and you'll be fine in no time.
Good Luck.
I agree with this answer
2006-08-15 05:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by Mr.H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. Just gotta stop using it. Eventually your senses will come back. Right now your just a little numb from over stimulation. Ie. You aren't as sensitive anymore.
Quit with the vibrator and you'll be fine in no time.
Good Luck.
2006-08-15 04:39:06 · answer #10 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋