What can I do about my little brother?

Question

He's 7 years old and acts completely helpless. He won't find his own clothes, open his own can of pop, clean his own glasses, or even at least make himself a simple peanut butter sandwich. He has no disorders, he's a perfectly capable child, yet he acts like he's still 3. He doesn't do anything he's told, he doesn't listen to anyone, and he doesn't eat supper if it's not something he absolutely LOVES, yet still expects dessert. He wants everything good, and not to have to do anything by himself. When told to do something on his own, he runs to another person to make THEM do it. Nobody refuses all together, so he always has SOMEONE to do his bidding. How can I make this stop? When I was 7 I could do all this and more, and so could our big brother. Our big brother could even make brownies and cook noodles on the stove by the time he was 7! So I think little brother can learn these simple tasks. (He's very spoiled by our dad)

Answer 1

Read this:
~ Parenting with Love and Logic.

It will change your life, your brothers life and your Dads! It is a quick, easy read and helps not just in parenting but also in teaching and in management skills!!

You can buy a used copy for under $10 or get it free at the library!

Good Luck!


You can buy a used copy for under $10 or get it free at the library!

Good Luck!

Answer 2

For any child for them to grow and accept responsibility they have to sometimes be let alone to attempt things. The other thing is that you have to offer him some sort of incentives if he does something on his own or make it clear to him that he has certain things he has to do by himself and if he doesn't there will be some sort of punishment or privileges taken away such as no TV or something such as that. As far as him not eating supper when he's hungry enough he'll eat and sometimes the more reaction a person gives a child on something like this the more the child will continue the behavior and act out. It's not an easy thing no matter how you look at it but good luck and the good thing is that sooner or later he will grow up and do more of the things that he should.

Answer 3

Unfortunately this is a problem your whole family is going to have to come together on. Explain to your parents, when your little brother is not around, how you feel and what your concerns are about his behaviour. Be careful not to say things that your parents may get defensive about (like "Dad spoils him"), but say that you are worried that he is not developing his skills like he should. Also, just because everyone else does things for him, does not mean you have to. You're absolutely right, your brother can do those things and should be doing those things. Your family is cheating your brother out of his development by not making him do things for himself or making him mind what people say. Do you have a grandparent or another family member who can help you talk to your parents? Someone who can give an outsider's perspective? The sucky thing is that since you are not his parent, there is not a whole lot you can do, except not cater to his nonsense yourself.
I think you are a great big sister to be worried about this. Stay strong, mean it when you say no to him and hopefully the rest of your family will come around. Good luck!

Answer 4

I love children and teaching them to do fun things as well as learning is fun!. This is all due to me being firm and stepping in when others try to take those ropes. You can make a horse drink sort of speaking.
I have a three year old niece and she dresses and speaks well.I do not let her cook of course but she has problems with some foods and she does not get one thing without the other being complete. I will make her get up from the table and wait till she get ready to eat without the whining and sweets and drinks NOT. Not until she finish eating or eat most of it.
I make things fun by letting them fix the plates, help prepare foods and desserts and the learning in songs, dances and even acting crazy.
You have to stop others from spoiling that child and let them know that he has to do these things on his own and now!. Give him other things to do as well as taking away the things he LOVES and love to do.
You will be in big trouble if you do not handle things now. Think about it seriously he is already 7!. Then remember to have fun teaching him to do these things and do Some comparisons to others he know even the adults if it comes to it.
I am a mother of two and they are now 21 and 16 and I still do these things with my 16 year old the fun and punishments sometimes too!.

Answer 5

Your last comment is the total answer. He is very spoiled by your DAD and everyone does it for him. Unfortunatley fo your little brother they are not doing him any good. Because if the little bubble in which he is living in were to burst by some tragic event(losing your MOM or Dad or both). He woud not survive. Talking to your parent swill not change anything . Just try to teach him what you can. When he wants your help say things like. What a big boy like you can't tie his shoes? I did not know you were still a baby. Coming from you these words will sink in. Be careful you don't call him names though this works just the opposite and will get you in trouble. Good luck! Take your mission seriously.

Answer 6

First of all its everyone's responsibility in the family to help your little bro learn to help himself, so take a deep breath and know that this burden doesn't fall completely on ur shoulders. Maybe you could get him to do some of the easiest stuff by rewarding him w/ trips to the playground or something. Get him to realize that his friends and other kids his age do things by themselves and that he should to. And I can say from experience that just telling a kid to do something by themself doesnt' help them, they just go look for someone else like you said. For example, the making of the sandwich thing, he's going to ask you to make it and if you say "no" or "do it yourself" he'll just storm away for another victim. Instead, set out the stuff(PB, J, sandwich bread, etc.) and try to get him involved. Make him stay in the kitchen w/ u and tell u wat to do next or he'll do the slice w/ the jelly while you do the slice w/ the pb. Soon he'll realize it isn't that hard and start doing it himself. Try this strategy w/ other tasks too. I know how it feels, you need to be super patient w/ kids. Good Luck.

Answer 7

hes perfectly capable of doing certain things on his own.He is a spoiled child thats getting away with it.The kids not dumb if he dosent do it someone will do it for him.Every one needs to stand together and start making him do things on his own.He will never learn otherwise.Everyone is just enabling him and this will hurt him because he will grow up thinking everything should be handed to him and he has to do nothing,this has to be stopped now.He needs to eat whats put in front of him or he can starve till the next meal or day.He needs to open his own soda or he can go thirsty.No one can be made to do something they are just doing what he wants so they wont have to deal with tantrums.You need to talk with your parents or show them this post on what every body thinks about this situation.Guess what hes 7 and cant make a sandwich my son is 3 and can do that so look how much they are holding there son back.Its only going to hurt him

Answer 8

get with your family in a family meeting about this without him present and have everyone agree to not help him till he starts doing some of the things on his own because if he doesnt then he will be a spoiled brat all his life!Or eventually when he moves out someday he wont be able to do a thing for himself and become FAT and have poor nutrition from not eating a healthy diet. Its your parents fault- not his - because they allowed this behavior to happen for so long.

Answer 9

Well, you ever heard of a thing called tuff love if you all continue to treat him this way he will think it's okay. It's okay to pamper a child but some things he need to do on his own if he continues this even when you've tried there must be a deeper problem some where you might just simply need to talk with him. He's never going to learn if he knows he can get away with it.

Answer 10

It's okay to spoil your kids every now and then, but u gotta make sure they learn to do things on their own. Your brother's gotta learn that they're will be some times he has to do things himself. Try leaving him alone in the house, (with a secret person to keep watch on him) then when he wants something, there will be no one to ask but to do it himself.