How do I ask God to not be angry with me?

Question

This may seem like I'm whining a bit here, but Christians help me out! I'm usually in church, I pray (most times) I admit I'm not the best christian, I wish I was, I don't pay my tithes correctly, but I do try to give something. I got a crummy job with crummy pay after searching for three years. Money slips through my hands like running water, I have horrible thoughts. My problem, I think God just plain out dosen't like me

Do I just give up and realize Christianity isnt for me, or that I can't do any better? I see other people who don't go to church at all they seem fine (which I know is not all true). Do I choose to stay and fight or come to the realization church and trying to lead a Christian life just isn't for me?

Real people here with real answers, no silliness, I got enough problems as it stands.

Answer 1

Barbie Doll,

First of all, I would say Ring's answer and Sandy's answers brought up some very good stuff. Some of the other answers gave good advice, but I thought they articulated their advice on a very down-to-earth level.

My 1.5 cents (w/o trying to repeat what they said):

What you are going through is what every other person of faith goes through. It's valid to 'count the cost' throughout life and ask the questions you've been asking.

Sometimes things just don't work the way we thought they would, we still feel empty inside instead of happy and fulfilled all the time, and so we question whether our beliefs make any sense.

Some people (some of them here) decide they were wrong and choose to change direction and abandon their past beliefs. After reconsideration, others decide to persevere because they find something of meaning that they do not find elsewhere, even amid the bad stuff.

Being a Christian is not easy. It's not because the faith is "stupid" -- it's simply because it does demands (among other things):
* a shift in perception [from the short-term to long-term]
* a LOT of "setting oneself aside"
* learning some things that are seemingly counter-intuitive
* maintaining hope even when hope seems far in coming.

Many other faith systems (as well as the secular advice people here gave you) will assume that suffering is something to be avoided.

Real Christianity says it's okay to feel bad sometimes, and that it's just part of the normal growing process. Hurt is also included in the process of "detaching" from the things you treat as most important in life and reattaching yourself to God and your relationships with others -- you can't separate yourself from something without suffering some pain.

[Note: Some Christians nowadays are into "prosperity" doctrines, where everything is supposed to become hunky-dorey if you just believe, but don't buy into that... at least not in the ways they suggest.]

In any case, the "you" you are now is the "you" that God loves and Jesus died for -- not the "perfect" you that you might have envisioned. There is no reason to feel ashamed any longer of not being "up to snuff."

True, you're going to not pay your tithes as much as you think you should, you'll waste money and feel out of control, you will feel unhappy with your job, you will have terrible ideas about doing things that you know are bad for yourself or others (or, heck, maybe you're not even sure how bad they are) -- and that's just where you are at, and that's where God is too.

If you are seeking God, you will change... but it will take time. Lots of time, sometimes.

Meanwhile, accept where you are. I think if you really get a glimpse of the idea that "where you are is not the place you want to be" but "God loves you right where you are, anyway, in that messy place," your heart will feel an inclination to seek God. Spiritual change occurs when we allow ourselves to "look bad" in the presence of love.

The amount of acceptance and forgiveness God offers is difficult to refuse, and it's what many of us seek for our entire lives. It gives us a desire to please Him, when we grasp it.

The other thing to remember is that you are a woman created in God's image, and a mirror of his beauty... especially as expressed in how he loves and embraces others. Think about how you can reflect the glory of God in your life... even while you still have problems you wish were resolved.

Most importantly, is there any older woman -- any at all -- in church who you feel accepted by or comfortable around? Someone you could look up to, ask questions, get support from? We all need hands-on encouragement and guidance; it's hard enough to walk through life alone, let alone while searching for meaning. If your church is a spiritually thriving place, there should be SOMEONE there who fits the bill...

Hang in there. I know it's hard. You might choose to stick it out longer, you might choose not to. You get to choose. Just remember that choices are not final -- life is that old cliche of a journey, not a destination -- and that you are never trapped anywhere and can always come home, even if you realize you made a wrong turn. God is not the sort to shut the door.

Answer 2

Your problem is not being "a bad Christan". The felling that God does not like you is you telling yourself that your not happy with your life. Sit down and look at what it is that makes you feel so bad. A job is a job and there is no shame in doing any form of work that pays the bills. Does it have to be you making a million dollars to make God like you? "A camel has a better chance of going through the eye of a needle than a rich man entering heaven"
I am not say that Christian is the only religion that is valid, but from the tone of the question it tells me that you are looking for someone else to blame for what you see as a "crummy job, crummy pay". Do what you can with what you have give of your time if you cant give money. Their is no better feeling than helping others. Hope this helps. Keep your head high and know that you at what is important not your bank account.

Answer 3

I have the feeling from what you have written that you are not really ready for anyones' advice, which may just hurt you. You have a "belief" and your experience does not match your expectations of that belief. Separate things out on paper. You're talking about a set of real world circumstances that are stacked up against you... like you are pushing something up hill and want to make the belief right. Well if you keep this up you will give yourself too hard a time - to failure. Making your belief system carry the burden of your circumstances is not fair thinking. Have more faith in your own judgment and see if what you are doing is really do-able or if you need to change gears. The environment you are trying to survive in sounds like it is man-made and full of traps, not God-made you know. You should stop feeling dis-empowered with guilt as though you don't measure up in the eyes of God, when actually you are really trying to make something happen around "people" or an environment that is not offering you anything. Move on is my thoughts. The grass IS greener on the other side of the fence if your side is just not green.

Answer 4

First off, church is not the place you go to pray. Prayer and worship is something you do at home, alone, according to Jesus. Church is the place you go to learn the Bible, and how to preach and teach it. As for tithing, that is old testament, not for Christians. Churches only need a percentage of your income because someone has put themselves on a pedestal to say they are the authority and should be paid for doing so. In the originally congregations, no one got paid, everyone was taught the same, and everyone had the knowledge and abilities to lead and speak before the congregation. Not event he children were taught separate from the adults. Maybe what you are feeling is a lack of confidence in the church you are attending because they are not following all the teachings of the Bible and have elite individuals who place themselves above everyone else. Maybe you should be looking around for one that treats you equally to everyone else, with no one getting paid to lead, thus not requiring a tithing.

Answer 5

Hello.
Well, first of all, God is not angry with you. He created you and He loves you unconditionally, that is why He sent His Son Jesus 2 die for you. God never hates the sinner he just hates the sin. You should always remember that God loves you no matter what you are, or what you've done, and no matter how big your sin is. You should never give up on your religion, keep on praying girl. See what is happening here is Satan is jealous that you have decided 2 follow God and not him. He is going to make things so difficult and hard 4 you, but whoever said once you become a Christian things would be easy. Being a Christian is very hard. I'll talk with you later.

Answer 6

Barbie doll...

Although it may come as a surprize to you, but you just did! By asking the question, "How can I ask God..." you have already done it. Most people I know, whether it is in church or a Bible study, or day-to-day activities don't really have a clue who or what God is about. Please remember that God is about love.

Think about giving up something you love more than anything: a boyfriend, money, a child, a parent, or a friend, something that when you think of it just brings that warm elated feeling to you.

Now, just destroy it! God loves you so much that he has given everything he's made, including his own child for you. Everytime you think of crummy job/pay, please remember that filthy homeless person you just saw who is incapable of having or holding a job. Girl, be thankful for the wonderful things you have and for the very reason you have them.

One last thing here: Yep, you do have a choice and the freedom to use it. God promises everyone that he will give them their chance. He has reserved a place for all those who truly love him. I want to add that God doesn't create trash, we do. God created you--as beautiful as you are and as thoughtful and wonderful that makes you--you.

Now seriously, do you think that God is going to create something he doesn't love? All you need to do is bow your head and ask God to show you his love for you. Seems weird, I know. But God also knows the futility of our minds and that we are only able to comprehend so much; therefore, gently ask him what you can do to be better for him. Believe me, God does not care about the plate or all of the hoop-la that a lot of churches have going on these days. He cares about you. He really cares about your heart.

That, I hope outta cover it. Ask, seek, and knock.

Answer 7

You sound like a smart woman. Don't waste you time foolishly by delving into mysticism and superstition. There is enough science circulating around now to clearly debunk all the major religions of the world. The only reason they still stand is because of wishful thinking of a mythical after life. If you want to make it in this world. your only assets are yourself and the people around you. Don't be foolish enough to think that some imaginary fellow in the sky is going to reach down with his mighty hand of justice and fix your problems if you are a little more pious. Do not feel guilty for what you refer to as "horrible thoughts". You are human just like everyone else. Just as long as all those thoughts don't translate into actions. True happiness comes from being loved and accepted. You cannot find love and acception from something that does not exist. My advise is that you find a way to go to college, hard as it may be. Make an effort to tap all your resources. Also begin(if you have not already) cultivating fruitful loving relationships with the people around you. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Sweetie you sound like a true Christian. God loves each and every one of us, even if you can't tithe like you would love to do. God would want you to take care of you and your family first, he knows you do well and you're a good person inside, he will never give up on you.

I don't consider myself a 'religious' person, but I am, (or at least try to be) a good person to everyone I know and even those I don't know. I know, deep in my heart that is what our God expects.

Keep up your praying honey and perhaps check into some additional schooling or training and you will get a better job. I promise.

I will keep YOU in MY thoughts and prayers.

Answer 9

Hebrew 2:6- who is man that YOU(God) are mindful of him...
He loves you no matter what.
God wants your heart. He wants to be first in your life. He does not need your money or anything else you have.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us...1John1:9
Tithes is a whole other story. Salvation is free we don't have to pay for anything, besides you will not find Paul preaching tithes anywhere to the Gentiles. He was the apostle to the Gentiles. Go in peace. Pay your bills- God does not want someone else money anyway.
God loves a cheerful giver.

Answer 10

First of all God isn't mad at you. If you have done something wrong, confess your sin to God and don't do it again. No one ever said being a christian was easy. God understands if you don't have any money. Remember the disciples weren't rich and none of them had an easy life. Remember the devil would love nothing more than for you to give up. Ps.37:5 " Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it and he will".