We got married in a court house over a year ago and she still wants to have a wedding with all our friends and family. We have a 6 month old daughter and i want to keep saving for a house. Should i let her have a wedding and if i dont let here have a wedding what should i tell her. I know every women deserves a real wedding but we are already married and have a kid. please help.
2006-08-15 04:10:03 · 20 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would sit down and have a true heart to heart conversation about the whole situation. You can let her know that you understand why she wants to have another wedding, one that can include everyone, however at this time you really want to work towards getting a house. Tell her that once you get the house that you really will have no problem planning one with her.
But hon- you have already had a wedding. You werent married in the church or anything but you are married, and that wont change- if you have a nother one it will only be to renew your vows.
Unless you dont mind waiting for the house for longer, i say you put off the renewals until after you move.
2006-08-15 04:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you could do something simple at a local park or something? Like vow-renewals. Just buy her a nice dress (not a bridal dress or anything) and you get dressed up, invite some friends and family and maybe do a cook out at someone's house as a reception. For my wedding- we rented a spot at a local park for $60 and it was simply goregous & since it was the first week in may- the flowers had bloomed and I didn't pay a dime on flowers to decorate with. I used the natural setting. Good luck whatever you do. Just a thought- I understand both sides. My brother and his wife got married in a short little wedding (in a church not JOP) while he was home on a nine day leave. She wants to have a real wedding (nothing overly pricey- just nicer than what she had) to re-new their vows, but my brother won't have it.
Talk to your wife, both of you need to understand where the other one is comnig from.
2006-08-15 12:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't do it. I went to one of these "weddings". Same situation. They couple had an "oops!" baby, got married in the courthouse, then after 10 months, had a WEDDING shower AND a full-blown ceremony!!!! I went only because I was DYING to hear what the other guests thought of this. The entire place was buzzing about how stupid this move was and how ignorant they were to act like they were "newlyweds". Most peole gave no gift either because they already gave them one before. The bride and grrom were the butt of their own wedding joke all night long!!!! They even lost some friends over it because of the greed factor.
2006-08-16 22:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by GiddyGiddyGoin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with above... having a wedding is pretty tacky now but you could still renew your vows. I think you are correct with the house first idea. You can't live in a wedding and it's a lot of wasted money for one day. I would make a deal with her to renew your vows on an anniversary... which ever one makes more sense to you for your saving plan. Also you could have the reception in your New house to save money!! I would tell her How about for our 5 year anniversary we do something nice and fancy and have we wedding or vow renewal? You need to get the house first, you have a daughter and your wife should understand that your daughter needs come before a wedding and you want to provide a house for your family. If you wife doesn't' understand that, she needs to grow up. But I think if you explain it to her and make a "deal with her", she'll understand.
2006-08-15 11:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell her that you get one wedding per marriage. It's actually very tacky to have a re-run wedding. Miss Manners has written several articles and a chapter in her book on tacky people having re-run weddings for their own vanity or to troll for gifts that they missed out on the first time-- very bad manners.
Sounds like she just wants some attention and to be in the spotlight for a bit. Compromise with her and help her plan a beautiful Second Anniversary Banquet she can invite everyone to (it can be simillar to a wedding reception). That would be much more appropriate, and less expensive, than a re-run wedding.
2006-08-15 21:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not so sure I understand "let HER have a wedding." Isn't that something that the two of you decide together? What do you two want to do? I think that you two could have a "wedding" and it doesn't have to be expensive so that it hinders your saving up for a house. You could have friends and family over for an informal wedding. She could have a simple, not expensive white dress. The two of you hire an officiant and play CD's for your music. It all depends on what you two consider a wedding. You could even have your guests bring a dish to pass :) .
2006-08-15 21:46:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have another wedding ... but make sure it's affordable ... it doesn't need to be over the top or anything ... just something nice enough for the family and friends to enjoy ..
Maybe have it at some-body's house, have a friend go on-line and become a minister ( doesn't take long and it's easy .. my friend did it for my cousin's wedding ) have friends and family cook .. like a huge pot luck or something ... buy flowers ... rent tables and chairs ... buy a few decorations and wa-la ... you just had a wedding ... congratulations ... lol ... !
Or just tell her she can wait till you buy your new house and have the wedding there ... !
2006-08-15 13:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that is silly to spend money on a wedding. You say every women deserves a real wedding? I don't think women have that entitlement. You guys are already married. If this was important to her you guys should have waited until you could save up the money for the wedding she wanted.
2006-08-15 11:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jewells 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you are talking about a lavish wedding then I think you are right. A house is far more important.
But if you can find a few extra $$$, set a budget & let her have the ceremony she so desires. With the help of family & friends, & her doing alot of the work herself, a wedding can be accomplished.
2006-08-15 11:45:34 · answer #9 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds rather good, however also expensive, I think you should make a deal with her ( but be clever about it ), work out how long it will take for you to get your house - say for instance this will take 5 years, then suggest you wait until your daughter is 6 so she can be a bridesmaid. Good luck.
2006-08-16 03:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋